Au pair agency missed mental health issues with our au pair Post Reply

[mrs_t]

Hello,
After a successful interview, our new au pair arrived a week or so ago. After a mildly shaky start due to what I thought was jet lag, it transpires that the au pair has been receiving therapy in their native country. Our au pair states that they do not feel well enough to work and after much skyping with parents (who are very cross with the au pair), they have decided to return home and resume therapy. Our au pair said that they had been like this for some years and that friends and the therapist had counselled them against becoming an au pair.
The au pair agency have now been informed about this and state that because a medical form, which was signed by the au pair's doctor, does not reveal any of this information a) the agency is not culpable and b) if we do not find a replacement through them, we will not get our fee (£500 approx.) back. I have explained that I have someone who is unwell in my home (spends a lot of time in bed, states that they are not motivated to eat etc) and that, as the au pair states that they are not able to cope, I have now had to take time off work. School starts this week.
As if that wasn't bad enough, what worries me most was the agency's attitude about their form filling. As the form stated that the au pair had no medical issues, they stated that it was not their fault. Full stop. It also appeared that this would be their attitude if anything more serious had gone wrong. In that case, it appears that the agency is asking potential au pairs to fill in the forms and is taking the results at face value, without any checking mechanism: I could do that. I pointed out to them that they are running a business but it is the business of childcare - looking after vulnerable people i.e. children and that they have missed an important diagnosis, indeed one which they stated today would probably have excluded this au pair from the programme.
We have offered the au pair a lot of support and told them that we are not angry with them and that these things happen. The au pair has managed to go out to the theatre this evening, which must be a good sign. The au pair said that they will 'try their best' over the next couple of weeks, before returning home, to do some childcare.

Who regulates au pair agencies? I would like to take this further.
Do I have a right to a reimbursement of the fee (I am worried about using this agency again as I now know the flaws in their processes though they have already shortlisted what appear to be reasonable candidates - I suppose that I am obliged to interview them?)?
Has anyone else experienced this?
What else should we do to help our au pair?
Thanks in advance for your replies.

[gruffalo's dad]

I am going to seem unsympathetic, but ultimately there are limits on what it is reasonable to expect an au pair agency to do in relation to a prospective au pair.

The au pair is coming from a foreign country, likely where English is not a working language. You say that there was no checking mechanism. However, you also say that the au pair agency had obtained a medical form from the au pair's doctor. You don't state what more you expect that the au pair agency should have done which indicates that there really isn't anything. The au pair agency didn't miss a diagnosis - they asked for self-certification and this was supported by the medical form from the doctor.

Whether you have a right to reimbursement of the au pair agency fee will depend on the terms and conditions that you signed with the agency. I suspect that as the terms and conditions will have been written by the agency you do not have a right to reimbursement, but always worth checking.

I think that your characterisation of au pair agencies is not quite correct. I see them more like dating agencies - they match up people looking for an au pair and people looking to be an au pair. The agencies are not guaranteeing or underwriting the au pairs.

You seem like a kind person as you are clearly concerned for the welfare of the au pair, even though she has been more trouble than use to you. Unfortunately, in my experience it is often the case that au pairs are more trouble than they are worth. I hope that things work out for you.

[MGMidget]

Have you seen the medical form? If not I would ask for a copy so you can see what it actually says. Sometimes these forms are so vague it is easy for a doctor to brush over any medical problems and give the 'ok' to the questions asked. Also, I have had experience of doctors blatantly confirming an au pair does not have certain medical conditions when it later turns out she does and has had the condition since childhood. I now think medical forms from overseas doctors are completely worthless. I think you could try an argument that the au pair agency's terms and conditions are unreasonable in the circumstances if they do not give you a right to refund. However, I am not a lawyer so it's just my view. Try googling 'unfair contract terms' to do some research on this.

I don't bother with au pair agencies, having had a first disasterous experience with an au pair thus way. I now use au pair world. There is still the risk that you end up with a dud but at least you don't waste much money this way!

[mrs_t]

Thanks both for your helpful advice.

The au pair agency has a branch in this au pair's country. In fact to deal with the current problems, the au pair spoke in their native tongue to the branch based in their country.

I am going to ask to see the form. I am a medical doctor - we could get in to trouble for such untruths! (if that is the case here)

I used an au pair agency as I thought that they would provided assurances that I was unable to obtain myself. I now recognise that this is wrong: I remain unclear as to why the au pair agency asks for the form to be filled out if they do not check it e.g. at interview. As previously mentioned: I could do that. On this score, the au pair world model, which omits the third party, is no different. This au pair's parents are also going to lose their money - I assume that they are not complicit and I feel very sorry for them.

[MGMidget]

I prefer au pair world because I get to ask the questions first hand and hear or read the answers first hand. In my one and only experience with an agency I started to suspect (after seeing more 'au pair profiles' when we were looking for our 'free replacement') that the agency we used had an influence in how questions were answered on forms. Answers were often word-for-word identical on different au pairs' application forms. It is more time consuming using au pair world but you are able to make first hand judgements about applicants before an agency has 'advised' them on their application and interview technique.

It is a shame the parents are losing their money too. It would be a little surprising if they had no idea about their daughter's medical condition though. I have seen first hand how parents can really hope that an au pair placement will 'fix' a problem with their child though so they might have had their head in the sand on this one and/or been talk around to it by their daughter!

[hellokittyerw]

So sorry to hear about your problem!

My friend had a similar issue with her aupair (although not mental health issue, just an underlying health condition).

The agency she used offered to get her another aupair for no additional fee but they said they couldn't return the agency fee.
They took up the offer (as the agency fee was a lot of money and they couldn't afford paying another agency) and they got a lovely new aupair.
However the few months it took to sort all this out was pure misery, as the initial au pair couldn't work (was too ill) but was still occupying her room so they could only get temporary live-outs for a while (more expensive)...

I would agree with the previous post, au pair agency are more like dating agencies, their checks are minimal..

[mrs_t]

Thanks everyone - interesting that this is not new. I was so surprised.
I will put it in writing that I would like to see the outcome of the agency's investigation and try very hard to ensure that they change where needed.
You live and learn.

[Team Southfields]

Will the agency not replace the girl free of charge. When we had au-pairs that happened on the one occasion we when we got a girl who was unsuitable and it was identified it in the first four weeks.

We did, however, received two references for all the girls we had and I always telephoned at least one of them so I could have a face to face chat and also telephoned the girls and spoke to them before they came too. Because I work full-time one of my questions was always about reliability and how many days they had lost at school or college due to sickness in the last year and I would ask how a cold usually affected them, etc..

[mrs_t]

Thanks. Yes, I telephone and/or skype interview for about an hour. There are numerous forms with the application, differing between agencies in the country of origin - some ask about mental health, others do not. Multiple, long references: tick boxes and free-text all in one form, with translation.

I appointed a replacement au pair - she was absolutely great. Initially the agency said that I would have to pay more as I was asking for a more skilled person than last time. They have waived that extra fee now. Sadly the au pair has just sent me an email to say that she cannot come and for good reason.

The agency is sending me people who they deem to be 'suitable' candidates. Actually, they are not necessarily suitable e.g. au pairs have stated on their profile that they want a 6 month post but then the agency speaks to them and assures me they will do 10 months, or 35 hours instead of 25 hours. I am obviously wary of taking them. However, the agency has sent me their Ts&Cs today and state that if I don't take a 'suitable' applicant - by their definition, not mine i.e. one of these candidates who has compromised their preferences and who therefore might leave, then I lose my money.

The agency has gone in to lock down on missing the mental health issues. They put someone foreward who told me yesterday that they were 'unsafe' to look after the children (that au pair has now returned home). However, they assure me that they are looking in to it, which is good.

They have also turned a bit nasty - they accused me of shouting and swearing today and will only communicate by email now! I was upset but of course I wouldn't shout or swear. It's ridiculous to even imagine. My husband thinks they are trying to intimidate me away from raising all of this. But it is crucial, basic safeguarding.

Thanks for all of your helpful comments but now that I realise that this is how it is (and I will never use an au pair agency again), and now that we have lost our replacement au pair, I will just accept my fate and get on with sorting out the childcare! However, I will still chase an investigation and review of their processes. When someone says that they are 'unsafe', especially in that context, it's quite unnerving. Best wishes.

[Flowermummy]

Maybe once you have sorted your problem you could post the name of the au pair agency used?
In my experience, there are very few good au pair agencies, so it would be helpful for the NVN community to know which ones to avoid?

[Penguin80]

Hi
I am a nanny, and am not sure the same rules apply for an au pair agency, but I had a bad experience with a family and as far as I am aware the agency had to give back the finding fee if it is under four weeks. Can you call the Obesumum to get some advice,or another company that looks into how agency's should be run?
There must be a company that moniters how agency's are run, and although I agree the agency may not have been aware of the mental health issues they should at least give back the fee if things haven't worked out,
fulham nannies is a very good agency as well as the website called childcare, you have to pay £15 a month but you can post excacally what you are looking for and althoigh you then have to find the au pair yourself there is no other finding fee.
Good luck

[tiredbuthappy]

I would name the agency, its the only way they will evaluate the issue and consider being more robust in the future.