Struggling with feelings after baby born Post Reply

[rebs30000]

Hi all. I've posted loads over the past few weeks and have had lots of help and advice. This is the toughest one that I've had to post yet. I had a baby ten days ago. He's actually a very good baby. Rarely cries and is very content. The problem isn't with my newborn however. It's always been just me and my son who is now five and a half. I've loved every night cuddling up with him reading books and bring able to take him to all the fun places and jut being able to do whatever we want. Since having the baby howrver, that's all changed. I don't have time to do all this and I feel so guilty. I've just constantly got this empty feeling inside and find myself yelling at him over small things. I love him and my baby to bits, I just want to feel happy again and make my on happy. I recently found out that on a day out with his dad he told him I'm always moany and angry. I just want to cry all the time the guilt I feel is unbelievable!!! Any advice please?

[rebs30000]

I'm struggling to find the same bond with him that we had before and it's really getting me down

[MadCurls]

Ah, poor you. Just know that you're not alone and your feelings are not unusual. I felt very similarly after the birth of my last (of 3) children. 10 days is still very early days... hang in there... this too shall pass and things will get better! x

[twice_as_nice]

Hi,

Please remember whilst 10 days may seem like an age, really it's not long at all for you and your 5 year old to adjust to very different circumstances. You will start to adjust and relax into your role as mum to more than one as will your older child learn to be a big brother and the excitement that brings.

you are in the middle of huge hormone shifts too and probably a lot of sleep deprivation (even though your baby sleeps well) so that will also be adding to your feelings.

I found things a lot more difficult with my third than my first (I had twins first) and was quite surprised as I thought I would be able to coast through it. I think I just assumed it will be easier second time round but actually whilst many things are (e.g. you kind of know better how to deal with a new born) you have much bigger adjustments for you and your other child(ten) to deal with.

Please don't feel guilty, (god, we mothers feel so much guilt don't we!!!) whilst you do inevitably have less time for your older son, remember you are giving your son a wonderful gift of a sibling.

really hope you start to feel better soon. it's tough being a mum and from what you've posted, it sounds like you are doing a brilliant job!!!!

xxxxxx

[evainlondon]

Please don't feel bad - you've just had a baby, that's a massive achievement and things WILL fall in place, but not just yet. First, you will have to learn to be a mother of two, and your eldest will need to learn to have and love and respect a sibling. All that takes time... My younger child is 6 months and I'm still getting the hang of it, but it does get easier. Be easy on yourself, confide in your family and friends and try and get as much support as possible. Best of luck!