Should I dismiss my nanny? Post Reply

[mum74]

Hello Mums,

Some advice please. My new nanny (2 months) has been ill 5 times and it's impacting on my job since I've needed to take last-minute holiday a few times.

On Friday she texted in sick again. I looked at her Facebook page and found a posting saying she'd had a lovely Friday afternoon chilling with friends on Portobello Rd! Yes - I know I was snooping but felt suspicious.

She's arrived today and clearly does have an ear infection. However, her texts to me at the weekend had said she was sick every time she sat up/couldn't get out of bed etc etc. I was off last week as was settling my eldest into school so I was able to cover her without more last-minute time off work. However, that doesn't justify someone lying to me, plus I'd advanced her money as she said she was hard-up. She now says she doesn't expect to be paid for the day off as knows she's had several etc etc.

My instinct is to find a replacement asap as:

1) she's not trustworthy and you want to trust the person caring for your children

2) there's clearly no respect for the impact this has on my job and no respect for us as a family

I'd wanted to ask her about the FB post and give her notice. However,my husband says the last thing we need is her resenting us whilst she's working out a notice period with our children under her care. I can't instantly dismiss her in case I don't find someone to start next week. So, I;m starting to look for a replacement and will then dismiss her. Am I doing the right thing or should I give her another chance?

She's 44, ex-business woman and on study break from a nursing degree I thought she'd be reliable and can't quite believe this behaviour!

What would you do?

thanks

Mum74

[kiwimummy]

Find someone immediately and dismiss without notice. Is she in probation still?

[Wheresmyschool?]

Get rid of immediately.

Will only foster resentment if you keep going...

[mgb]

Find a replacement asap and dismiss her. Don't give her another chance - she is dishonest and I would not want her looking after my children.

[mum74]

Thanks Ladies.

Thanks for your reply. She's out of probation but I think this is something for which she's in breach of contract and could be instantly dismissed. I'd certainly get fired by my company for pulling a stunt like this!

[claire.thomas119]

I would dismiss without hesitation. It would be terrible to let bad feeling towards her fester, could cause issues if a notice period is necessary.

Perhaps just pay her off her notice period if she is entitled.

[AbbevilleMummy]

You first need to talk to her openly and honestly.

You mention what would happen at your company. Are you really saying that if you took 5 sick days in a short period of time and posted on FB, that HR would gather opinions from an internet forum and then sack you immediately?

No, they probably would get all the facts and sit down and talk it through with you first etc etc.

A nanny is an employee and should be treated as such. I know its difficult because you pay them so much money, they look after your precious children and your every day life pretty much depends upon how good they are at their job, but please don't let emotions dictate how you deal with this situation. A calm rational conversation should be your first step.

[mum74]

No HR wouldn't gather opinions from an Internet forum - they'd look at my contract and see that I was in breach of it. However, I'm not a large company and she's looking after my kids which is why I'm seeking opinions. In a work situation I'd be prepared to give someone a warning and second chance - she;s looking after my children though. So, there's inevitably a different dimension to this.

I have no issue with someone being genuinely ill but as she was posting about being at a gig the night before and then relaxing with friends on the Friday - the illness cannot have been that debilitating.

[Bubs]

Trust is the one biggie when looking after children, closely followed by reliability. It appears she's failed on both counts and I wouldn't hesitate in getting rid of her and finding a more suitable replacement asap. It sounds like she has no respect for you or your family to me, which would be the deal breaker for me. You deserve better.

[NYE31]

I'm with Bubs, she's broken your trust & has been unreliable.

Find a new nanny ASAP & I hope no one else ends up with this nanny!

[Purple21]

Have to say I'd ask her to go given her behaviour and apparent lack of respect. Would follow similar action if someone in my team at work behaved like that too. If you need a recommendation for a replacement we've just had a lovely nanny help us out while normal one was off.

[csml]

Do not just dismiss her for being "in breach of contract". Her actions would need to amount to gross misconduct to warrant immediate dismissal without notice and as Abbeville Mummy rightly says, you don't have the full facts and you need to at least speak to her before terminating without notice.

You could terminate with notice (she won't have unfair dismissal rights if she's been employed less than 2 years) but you'd need to give her a reason for the termination, which is not a discriminatory reason. The lack of trust /Facebook incident would probably be sufficient.

[AbbevilleMummy]

All I'm saying is that you need to talk to her first. She has a right for you to talk to her and to have a chance to explain herself. You need to communicate with her properly and professionally not just sack her without even talking to her first! There maybe an explanation that you accept for her behaviour. Maybe not. But you need to talk to her. You shouldn't avoid having an open discussion about your concerns. And then, once you've heard what she has to say, take a day or so, chat it over with your husband and then make a decision.

[mum74]

Thanks everyone. Some very fair points and advice given.

Our contract has a 4 weeks notice period, both ways. I've decided that I have 2 options

1) Much as it galls me - give her notice and pay her the for the month( 2K !) but not expect her to work it. So I'd also paying a new nanny. i.e. 4k hit.

2) Give her a month's notice and give another reason for giving notice so that I can ask her to work it and then start a new nanny.

[mum74]

PS: I'd love to hear from any nannies prepared to work 4 days (poss 5) in West London for 2 little girls. We really want someone for the long term who's caring and reliable (!) and has CRB/references etc

thanks!