What would your top advice to a new mum be?! Post Reply

[twice_as_nice]

A friend is expecting twins and I want to produce a card of 'mum to mum' advice for her baby shower….

What would your top advice be? thanks!

[MatchUpMums]

To join Wandsworth Twins Club - amazing ladies

[Lucypsouthfields]

Trust your gut feel and do what you believe is best - there's no right or wrong way in parenting, and you will learn what works for you. By all means ask what others think / do but don't feel you have to follow their advice, which will vary greatly depending on a multitude of factors!

[twice_as_nice]

thanks ladies!

[Mum2Alex]

Accept help whenever it is offered... And hint strongly if you need to in order to get it offered!!!

[Bluebutterfly]

As a mother of twins my advice would be:

1. Don't let people stress you out about having twins, you will manage fine!!
2. Let people help as much as possible (I was sure that I would ask my mother-in-law to leave as soon as I was out of hospital but she ended up staying for a week!)
3. If relatives would like to help financially, asking for a "present" of a night nanny for one night now and again is an amazing gift. It is wonderful to feel that someone else is "on duty" who can wind and settle your babies after feeds if you are breastfeeding, or do everything if you are bottle feeding and you can get a full nights sleep!! Or you could ask for a delivery of frozen meals from somewhere like "Cook" which you can just put in the oven, super easy, so you don't have to think about cooking.
4. Keep babies hospital bands on ankles for the first week or so if they are identical (it stops your frazzled brain mixing them up) or have different coloured sleepsuits to tell them apart quickly.
5. Try to work out a daytime and nighttime routine in advance, it doesn't have to be rigid but it is far more important with twins that for single babies in my opinion. The routine won't necessarily work out for feeding straightaway, but it is good to have some kind of structure to the day for example, when everyone gets dressed, goes out for some fresh air etc. Then you can add feeding and sleeping as they get older. Also try to do bath and bedtime at the same time every day from as early as possible and put the babies to bed in their cot/bedroom (even if you are still feeding through the night). It will make you feel that the days and nights aren't rolling together.
6. I was not a huge Gina Ford fan with my first, but I found her Twins book (co-written by Alice Beer) to be helpful - don't get too stressed about the timings though
7. Join TAMBA (Twins and multiple birth association) straightaway for good advice, support and excellent discounts eg 20% of Jojo Maman Bebe all the time
8. Having twins is an amazing, wonderful experience and you will feel truly lucky (the extra work is all worth it!)

I have to go but will try to post some pregnancy advice later....

BB

[GES77]

1. You can cope with anything if you have enough sleep
2. This too [phase] shall pass.
3. Think of the day in two halves: successful morning (pat yourself on the back!), stressful afternoon (oh well!) or vice versa.

Try to enjoy your babies - before you know it, they will be big!

[pie81]

1. If breastfeeding (hard work with twins!), get a good lactation consultant at the first sign of any problems - one that knows how to check for tongue tie.

2. Don't beat yourself up if you're not getting the same sleep/feed pattern/chilled out baby as another mother (or as set out in a book), it's not because you're doing something wrong, it's because you have a different baby who has their own character.

[Hattie]

Give her the contact details of Geraldine Miskine (Breastfeeding Experience), the breast-feeding expert. She will really help your friend get off to a brilliant start!

[pie81]

Yes Geraldine is great!

[vendredimanche]

Hi there,
It's a lovely idea. There was a lot of sensible advice in this great thread: http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/view ... 610#p85610
VdM

[SwallowsandAmazons]

Maybe suggest a postnatal doula? They are an extra pair of hands, support feeding (many are breastfeeding counsellors, lactation consultants or peer supporters as well), will cook for mum, keep on top of her house, help her with feeding throught the night if they are night doulas, be a listening ear, a good source of information and will support her when things get too much.

You can search for them by geographical location on Doula UK. She should meet around 3 before employing one to find a good fit. Family and friends can pay for help with vouchers through Doula UK.

[firsttimerSW11]

Your post has made me very nostalgic as I celebrate my little ones first birthday shortly. I asked a very similar question this time last year and had a whopping 67 lovely responses and they genuinely made those first bewildering months so much easier. Here is the post:

http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/view ... 610#p85610