How to respond to adults who's child has pushed? Post Reply

[Leungvivian]

Hi,

Just after some suggestions/advice. My son was pushed today in a play area. It was an accidental push as the child just knocked him over. But the accompanying adult (who I think might be a nanny) saw it happen and didn't say anything. Just went to keep talking. I stared at her sternly as I was consoling my son. But she made no eye contact with me.

I eventually just walked away after my son settled down as I didn't want to make a scene.

But now wondering if I did the right thing? I know it was an accident, but if my son had done that I would have apologised on his behalf and tried to teach him to apologise as well (he can't talk yet).

Thoughts?

Much appreciated

[papinian]

I think you did the right thing. In fact, I think you may have gone a bit too far in giving a death stare at the guardian of the child who pushed your son.

You say it was an accidental push, which I understand to mean that the other child knocked you son over unintentionally. If the other child is your son's age and size and there was no physical harm to your son then I think it's the call of the guardian of the other child whether to tell the other child to take care, say sorry, etc.

There is a time for intervention (e.g. telling your child to apologise) but looking at myself I think I do it too often and that it's often unnecessary and counterproductive.

Deliberate pushing etc. is a completely different story and intervention should always occur.

[emanu_ela]

I believe that it's not too early to learn to apologise if you do something that hurts someone else. Even if it's an accident. I would hate to see my kids just walk away and not taking care of someone they have knocked over. I see it too many times scenes where mums or carers do not take actions and just let their kids be. They are kids and need some advice, they need a guidance to learn how to behave in public places and how to respect other people. Accident or not accident.