My husbands is looking like his father and its not good! Post Reply

[Balhammom]

Hi
This is a strange Christmas post but I did want some advice.

We've just returned from the Christmas break and we spent a lot of time with my in-laws.

My husband is now in his mid-forties and is beginning to resemble his father (my F-I-L) and its is becoming a bit of an issue.

My F-I-L is very lovely but he waddles around the house in his cardigan, he is quite large and he'll sit on the sofa with a cup of tea making loud slurping noises and resting the mug on his tummy.

I can't actually believe I'm writing this as I write, if that makes sense, but also over Christmas my husband who has put on some weight also sat on the sofa resting his mug of tea on his tummy and slurping. There was no cardigan (thank god) but the image of him as a young version of his father was so acute it was scary.

This has become a bit of a concern for me, I actually felt myself recoling if my husband tried to touch me when we were there as it really felt as though it was my F-I-L and when he's tried to be intimate since then I've had to make excuses as I can't get the image of his father out of my head.

Has anyone else experienced this? It's really really worrying me.

Thanks for reading

[Balhammom]

Glad I am not alone!



I will try to banish all thoughts!

[sophieb]

You are definitely not alone... I have the same issues! It's not just the way he looks but his mannerisms that are morphing into those of his father too... although must admit the most disconcerting things for me are the wayward eyebrows... know it sounds silly, but both of them have the most ridiculous eyebrows that grow long and flick upwards. I've convinced my husband to trim them regularly but it's like I can still see them

Sadly, think there is little we can do about it, we just need to focus on the things that we do love / find attractive in our husbands to drown out this other stuff!!!

[DavidT]

While the tummy and slurping don't conjur the most inviting image, this post made me wonder to what extent you could also be turning into your mother! Better check the mirror. Can be hard to avoid in some respects as we learn a lot, good and bad, from our parents.

Next time he does something that reminds you of the F-I-L, gently (and uncritically if possible) let him know that it's not that attractive to you. He may not be that keen to be turning into his Dad!

[Balhammom]

While the tummy and slurping don't conjur the most inviting image, this post made me wonder to what extent you could also be turning into your mother! Better check the mirror. Can be hard to avoid in some respects as we learn a lot, good and bad, from our parents.

Oh I definitely KNOW that is the case.

Christmas shopping over the holidays I noticed a women who looked a little like my mother but was slightly younger and slimmer.

As I stepped left to avoid her she also stepped left and then I realised it was my reflection!

Totally and utterly mortifying and I think I am projecting part of my own concern on my husbands case.

[juliantenniscoach]

I bumped my Dad off early so my wife couldn't make that comparison. Seems to be working.......................

[DavidT]

Oh I definitely KNOW that is the case.
Christmas shopping over the holidays I noticed a women who looked a little like my mother but was slightly younger and slimmer.
As I stepped left to avoid her she also stepped left and then I realised it was my reflection!
Totally and utterly mortifying and I think I am projecting part of my own concern on my husbands case.

Mmm good observation re projection, sounds possible! And lovely funny anecdote. There seemed to me to be something about getting older in this story and all the meanings that may have for you as individuals and as a couple. The only certainty in life can often be ... that things change. But we don't always notice ... until startled by a slurp/tummy/[emerging cardigan] moment. Hope this thread is helping diminish the worry!

[juliantenniscoach]

Never forget all, the older you get the better you were...............