My niece was staying over half term and as my two can be a little, ahem, robust in their language and play, I sat all three of them down and explained that we were going to have a lovely, friendly non-shouty holiday.
And that the words “shut up” were absolutely and totally banned.
All seemed to be going well until the last breakfast when my eldest was prattling on, much to the obvious annoyance of my butter-wouldn’t-melt niece.
I could see her struggling with what to say but in the end it was all too much and she broke.
“Silence peasant,” she boomed, before asking, “is that nicer than shut-up?”
Here’s what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet…
B. would love your advice. She moved away from London a few years ago and her old friends are now meeting up, and having fun, without her. Is she right to feel left out or is she just being a bit too sensitive? (read more)
Jonathan, the lovely chair of the Northcote Business Network has posted some sad news: The Northcote Summer Fete is off! (read more),
Do you know of an ace legal eagle? P is looking for a family lawyer or barrister to help her friend sort out custody of her child (read more).
We’ve had quite a few election posts (ooooh was there an election – I hadn’t noticed!). Please remember when posting to be respectful and polite even if you vehemently disagree with someone – I don’t want to have to ban people AGAIN! (read more)
Winterville is a planned winter festival on Clapham Common slated for November.Is this your idea of heaven or hell? Some protests are afoot! (read more)
K has posted an update on the news of a park being replaced by a block of flats off Lavender Hill (read more)
Remember those local jewellers who were sentenced for drug dealing and manufacturing firearms? Well your stories just keep coming, so many of you had friendly dealings with them!(read more)
Farmdrop is a brilliant to-your-door food delivery service, literally freshly picked from the farm for you. And we have £25 off your first shop! (read more)
GM has posted about a Beanstalk volunteer who not only reads to children in schools but is a published children’s author (Dreamcatcher no less!) AND she has just written a book for Turquoise Holidays called The Pocket Elephant (read more). If you would like aFREE copy click here!
MM asked if a Quooker was a good idea? Some lovely feedback including a big thumbs up from our friends at Stanza ID (read more).
JT’s MIL is turning 80 in a couple of months. What to get her!? (read more) Mr NVN used to buy his grandma a new five year diary every year! She appreciated his positivity!
MT would love your recommendations for fertility clinics (read more). And on the same subject, E is looking for recommendations for acupuncturists or Chinese medicine practitioners to help them conceive (read more).
RR is considering a career move into teaching. Does anyone have experience of the direct school route, she wonders? (read more)
Roundhouse recently ran a competition with NappyValleyNet to win dinner for two at Marcus Wareing’s The Berkeley. The winner has just been announced! What do you mean I can’t win??? (read more)
Our discussion on what to do about bad PMT continues… (read more)
T is looking for a somebody who can make football cupcakes. Ooooh have you tried the Dessert Deli – they’re ace!(read more)
P is on the look out for a great hypno-birthing course. Look into my eyes, you’re going under… (read more)
I think I nodded off there, don’t know if I hypnotised myself or it was this post (read more) about a baby sleep coach. For the avoidance of doubt this is a post about someone who helps babies sleep, not a big luxurious bus full of snoring little ones!
We LOVE Nurturing Mums and they have another 5-week course starting in Earlsfield this week. (read more)
123 is looking for some foodie prep space for her pop-up food business. Could they pop-up in your space!? (read more)
S has lost her baby’s sunglasses and their gorgeous and pink – have you spotted them? (read more) Sticking with lost and found: T has realised they left a blue micro-scooter at the Chivalry Road playground. Anyone spotted her missing wheels? (read more)
HB’s son suffers from eczema – can you recommend a good suncream? (read more)
C is new to the area and looking for a paediatrician or children’s GP? (read more)
P posts about a local charity, Little Village, now accepting donations of children’s things. Time for a clear out? (read more)
V’s on the lookout for the perfect pooch and would love to hear of any cockapoo breeder recommendations (read more)
CM asks the going rate for a live-in nanny/housekeeper (read more)
LP is looking for a good neurologist for adults (read more)
C asks if any 14-year-olds are keen to practise their French close to home this summer? N’importe qui? (read more)
L is looking for a nanny share in Tooting Bec from September. (read more)
Do you remember the post about the fruitless search for a weight loss expert? A lot of ideas here! (read more)
A local internet-based gift shop is offering our followers 10% off presents for Father’s Day (this coming weekend…). Why, thank you! (read more)
NC is considering a Bertie & Boo party for her 2-year-old. What do you think? I LOVE Bertie and Boo! (read more)
T asks whether 16-year-olds are allowed to have a Saturday job? (read more)
And on the same (ish) theme: MK’s 18-year-old son is looking for holiday work over the summer term (read more)
We have more travel posts than Boris Johnson has leadership ambitions!
Calling all football crazy children! Turquoise have posted details of an exclusive Summer Football Academy with Teddy Sheringham at the Four Seasons Resort Mauritius. Oh, go on then… (read more) JT was looking for some November sun inspiration and you’ve got plenty! (read more) CDS is planning her hubbies’ 40th and is looking for a luxury villa in Europe to surprise him with! (read more) AHM is looking for a good family-friendly hotel in Devon (read more) A wants a villa or gite in France for a week in August (read more) LP is looking for a female travelling companion to visit Sweden and Copenhagen in mid July (read more)
Looking for a new role? We have more job vacancies than the Conservative Front Bench!
Hornsby House are looking for a PA for their headmaster. (read more) HomeStart Wandsworth need more volunteers. Could it be you? (read more) A reliable 21-year-old is on the look out for part-time work (read more) There’s a maternity cover role as Account Director in a creative social media marketing agency (read more) TW is a nanny looking for a new role which can also involve her own child (read more)
We have more activities than the election had recounts!
Next week there is a free Career Reignite Bootcamp for career returners, sponsored by Virgin, so if you’re considering a return to work, perhaps taking a different route to before, this could be for you? (read more) Clapham’s Omnibus are running a series of on-your-feet performances of A Midsummer’s Night Dream later this month, a brilliant introduction to Shakespeare for children – watch out for Puck on Clapham Common! We’ve got a lovely pair of tickets to giveaway. Right over hither. (read more). T is looking for a Spanish camp for her little one this summer. Que bien! (read more) Sign up for the Wandsworth Jumble Trail happening in July and you can have a stall outside your house and shift a lot of stuff! (read more). N is looking for adult beginners’ ballet classes (read more) Little Voices will be running three performing arts weeks this summer in Putney and Fulham with a lovely early bird discount (read more). G asks where are the best swimming lessons for children? (read more) There’s a regular Wednesday lunchtime yoga class in Battersea Park and it’s called Hump Day Yoga! And the best bit? It’s a donation class so all proceeds go to charity. (read more) Open Air Fit are calling all you early risers to their 3-week fitness blitz. Get summer ready (before any one else wakes up!) (read more). WenLin Chinese School are running a Charity Garden Party (read more).
We have more schools questions than Jeremy Corbyn has failed “high fives”
The debate on nursery funding rumbles on! (read more) And the primary schools waiting list has moved onto the subject of holding on to private school places which in turn affects the movement on state school lists (read more) P has been offered a place at the Kindergarten at Thomas’s Battersea and would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you know and live over Southfields way. (read more) Z has recently graduated from Cambridge and is offering tuition in Maths or Science (read more)
We have more House & Garden queries than we all have election fatigue!
Clara Bee has posted a lovely pic of a recent project. Loving the Crittal doors! (read more) B is after somebody to build a built-in wardrobe. Any recommendations? (read more) LGL is available for summertime gardening (read more) GP is looking for a builder to take out the chimney breast and install an oven and hob (read more) G needs a mortgage broker (read more) ZZ would love your basement builder (rather than Bob the Builder) recommendations, please! (read more) LP is a teacher with free time this summer. Do you need a house/dog/cat sitter? (read more) P needs recommendations for both a roofer and electrician.(read more) MM needs a few moving boxes. Got any spares or empties? (read more) B wants to get the brickwork and tiles on the front of the house cleaned – who to use? (read more) WL has posted that a family of four are looking for a home for one week only in July. Can you help!? (read more) Perhaps they should meet…RF who has a lovely family house in Balham available for rent in July (read more) M is looking for a one bedroom flat or studio in the Wandsworth area (read more)
It’s totally free to post your for sale, wanted and recycling adverts!
S is selling a Silvercross changing unit/chest of drawers in white (read more). S has some Isabella Oliver maternity wear – go over for a try on! (read more) Z has a very comfy Baby Bjorn bouncer looking for a new home (read more) S is selling her Nicky Clarke Heated Rollers Travel Set (read more)
Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week!
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet team
PS don’t forget you can now register or log in to NappyValleyNet using your Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin account.