by astro » Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:12 am
I've been debating whether to reply to this at the risk of being shouted out, so please be kind.
I'm a female in my mid-30s and I'm not offended by the original post. The fact is that some girls/women don't want to be career women and would like to stay at home if possible, and yes, be supported by a partner. As long as that is their choice then I don't see the issue. What I'm saddened by at the moment is that I'm seeing so many of my highly educated, professional female friends give up work or take on 'reduced roles' at work as it isn't financially worthwhile to stay on (after the cost of childcare etc) or due to inflexibility in the workplace. I wish it wasn't this way, but for a lot of people it does seem that women with children have a very different career path to those without (men or women). And that these women end up being financially supported by their partners, so why not be honest about it?
Personally, I was a 'career woman', having worked very hard over the years, including 7 years of study. My husband works in the City and is away a lot and it all worked well when we were both on the same track. Throw in 2 kids and it gets tricky - one of us has to make sacrifices to be around, and because I want to work 4 days/week and can't travel for long periods of time any chance of career progression is closed off to me.
My friends and I talk about this and some of us have wondered - if we knew that our 'careers' would be put on hold for such a long period of time, would we have worked so hard to get where we were prior to having kids? Yes, go to university and get a job that you find interesting... but perhaps we'd rethink the PhD, the postgrad study, the extra hours on weekends. Let me be clear, none of us are complaining of sexism - my workplace has lots of senior women - but they're all childless or of an age where the kids have left home.
I have hope that one day it will change but I don't see how, and I don't know what I will tell my daughter in years to come. I grew up with everyone telling me I had the world at my feet, to study and go to university and aim high, only for the same older family members to turn around once I've had children and say 'Oh, but you're going back to work part time aren't you? Who is going to be home for the children?'. We have a long way to go.
I've been debating whether to reply to this at the risk of being shouted out, so please be kind.
I'm a female in my mid-30s and I'm not offended by the original post. The fact is that some girls/women don't want to be career women and would like to stay at home if possible, and yes, be supported by a partner. As long as that is their choice then I don't see the issue. What I'm saddened by at the moment is that I'm seeing so many of my highly educated, professional female friends give up work or take on 'reduced roles' at work as it isn't financially worthwhile to stay on (after the cost of childcare etc) or due to inflexibility in the workplace. I wish it wasn't this way, but for a lot of people it does seem that women with children have a very different career path to those without (men or women). And that these women end up being financially supported by their partners, so why not be honest about it?
Personally, I was a 'career woman', having worked very hard over the years, including 7 years of study. My husband works in the City and is away a lot and it all worked well when we were both on the same track. Throw in 2 kids and it gets tricky - one of us has to make sacrifices to be around, and because I want to work 4 days/week and can't travel for long periods of time any chance of career progression is closed off to me.
My friends and I talk about this and some of us have wondered - if we knew that our 'careers' would be put on hold for such a long period of time, would we have worked so hard to get where we were prior to having kids? Yes, go to university and get a job that you find interesting... but perhaps we'd rethink the PhD, the postgrad study, the extra hours on weekends. Let me be clear, none of us are complaining of sexism - my workplace has lots of senior women - but they're all childless or of an age where the kids have left home.
I have hope that one day it will change but I don't see how, and I don't know what I will tell my daughter in years to come. I grew up with everyone telling me I had the world at my feet, to study and go to university and aim high, only for the same older family members to turn around once I've had children and say 'Oh, but you're going back to work part time aren't you? Who is going to be home for the children?'. We have a long way to go.