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Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Denwand » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:42 am

shil1625 wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:32 am
I find it really hard when people do not reciprocate the level of kindness I show them. I wonder if some people even see kindness as weakness?

Shil1625 - I think there maybe something in what you say there. She certainly had an air of always getting her own way regardless and of riding roughshod over other peoples needs seemingly because she felt she was entitled to it and would always expect preferential treatment by divine right!

We all come across people like that occasionally and sometimes we are unlucky enough  to be related to them! :o

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by shil1625 » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:32 am

Thanks for posting this. It’s actually been very helpful to reflect on how different people express gratitude. I think we all have different levels of self-centredness and will make different levels of effort in situations where we help people we’ve just met, acquaintances, close friends, family etc.

We will never know, but possibly this lady, or other people, may not have offered as much help to another child, as you did, if they were in a similar accident. In fact, she didn’t seem to want to take it as serious as you did as she had no intention of calling the ambulance, for example.

I find it really hard when people do not reciprocate the level of kindness I show them. I wonder if some people even see kindness as weakness? So even turning up late and setting the agenda for the time to show up on your weekend - she seemed to dominate the terms and conditions, perhaps because she could see you were a kind and conscientious person? (I am just speculating...could also be her head was full with a million things to do and it just hadn’t occurred to her to show any token or gesture of gratitude or to show up on time because she is so preoccupied).

If I were you, I would focus on the fact that you helped the little boy. I don’t think he will forget that and it means he will have some sense that people can be kind, considerate and put other first in the world (I do not know the mother, so I am not judging her, but I just mean it’s nice for children to see the compassion you showed). Hope that helps.

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Chucka » Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:45 am

This lady may even have some sort of condition?  Never regret your kindness. 
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great"

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Denwand » Thu Aug 08, 2019 3:21 pm

Wow - thanks for all the extra responses - I feel much better now!

Also  I had to gasp at some of the experiences some of you have written about...the idea that someone having a favour done for them can suddenly turn and, beyond being ungrateful, become rude and act like it's THEM doing the favour!

Still I treasure the fact that 99% of people are reciprocally kind and appreciative!

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by GreatScott » Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:43 pm

Yes, life is too short rgreil, but we need to let off steam sometimes, and to reinforce the point that such behaviour is not acceptable. Too many people, particularly the more well-off I find, think it's ok to treat everyone else on the planet as staff and that there are no important consequences to their actions. You only need to see how some people treat shop workers and waitresses etc. Their behaviour is appalling. 

Well done for helping the boy and for all you did Denwand; at least you have a clear conscience for the right reasons. I suspect the other mother also has a clear conscience and can sleep at night because she has absolutely no idea she has done anything wrong. And what a terrible example to set to her son, who will no doubt grow up believing that is how you treat people. 

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Star » Mon Aug 05, 2019 10:30 am

Some people are just rude and entitled.
I lent out a Deuter child carrier to a local mum on Facebook who had asked to borrow one. it was very loved and got great use out of it walking on holidays while carrying a child and cost 300 quid and although my children had outgrown it i wanted it to go to good use and reserved it for my friend who was pregnant and waited for her baby to be birn and to reach the age where it was suitable. Anyway i text the mum and said she could have it for another 6 month's. When I picked it up she literally slammed the door in my face, no thanks or anything. I felt very stupid. She was very well turned out, well spoken, her beautiful as well etc. I could not believe how rude she was as I had offered to pick it up as well . Just goes to show rubbish people come in all forms and never judge a person by their appearance ( not that I ever did). Would reiterate continue being you and pity these soul less ungrateful creatures

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by K1999 » Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:49 am

I would have been equally miffed. Good karma doesn’t always come back from those you help, but it will come.

It’s just a shame as she could so easily have shown more gratitude and let’s not get into the time keeping. You are very gracious to have allowed her to dictate the timings. I’m afraid I would have have stuck to my guns and told her when I was available and she could pick which one she could make, and if she was late I would have given her 15-20 mins then gone out. If she’d then complained I’d have explained that I thought she wasn’t coming as no call from her to let me know (although if she’d call to delay I’d have said I have another appointment so can’t wait in).

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Sheds » Mon Aug 05, 2019 7:50 am

When (she) I picked the bike up (I) she saw that (she) I was having trouble lifting it into (her) my 4x4... (I) she could have helped (her) me lift it it but instead pretended (I) she didn't notice and shut the front door! 

Could so easily have been written by the other woman under the same heading?

 

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by rgreil » Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:46 pm

Well done for helping. But life is too short to fixate on such mundane matters. Move on

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by sloaney donkey » Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:09 pm

I would have laughed my a**e off when her son had his kartoon moment of crashing

but that is just me. And it would have been a different post had that been the case.

"donkey laughed at my injured son"

Ranks alongside "Freddie star ate my hamster"

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Denwand » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:23 pm

ps I admit that I did have one devilish "serve you right" moment against her! 

When she picked the bike up I saw that she was having trouble lifting it into her 4x4...I could have helped her lift it it but instead pretended I didn't notice and shut the front door! ☺️

 

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by Denwand » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:18 pm

Thank you all for your kind words!

You have made me feel better and that it's "Just not me" who would feel that way! ☺️

,,,and Blenkarne - I understand completely - luckily people who help others and are grateful to others when helped are in the majority and the odd ingrate like the ones we bumped into will not put us off!

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by firsttimerSW11 » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:53 am

Yes I'd have been miffed too. Some people have no class whatsoever. 
Thank you for being someone who would help my child out if it had been her. If there were more like you, the world might not be the mess it currently is.

Re: Am I Right To Be Miffed About This Lack Of Consideration? Your Opinions Please!

by blenkarne » Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:57 am

Something similar happened to me the other day. Whilst out on the Common in the pouring rain walking the dog, I came across an opened school bag with all the clothes contents strewn around (clearly soeome had rummaged through and found nothing of value) and obviously drenched right through. I collected everything up, did a bit of detective work and found out the owner’s name and number as the bag was id’ed, left a message, took everything home, and then dried the clothes out before packing them away neatly in the bag.

The mother then responded and came round to collect, said a perfunctory ‘thank you’ and that she had told her daughter off. Perhaps I am being a bit overly-sensitive but a tad more gratitude would have been nice, just good manners that’s well.

Sadly though, rather than get upset about such things, I fear you just have to accept there are some people out there who perhaps do not have the same values and turn the other cheek.

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