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Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by peter.johnson » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:41 am

K1999 wrote:
Wed Sep 04, 2019 4:29 pm
It rather saddens me to read all of these posts.  Whilst I don't necessarily agree with what is said in the original post, I also find a lot of the responses very shaming and aggressive too.  Sometimes it is a learning curve for others, but that doesn't mean you have to be rude, disrespectful or shaming either. 

I kind of agree with the sentiment here.  I met the lady who runs the drop in and she was so welcoming and was more than happy for me to come to help on Wendsday which I am looking forwards to with a little anxiety.

I think it is true we should not use some words to describe people who find themselves homeless, part of my attraction to helping is that in my early career I worked in a particularly harsh environment and found myself the butt of a number of jokes.   So having the opportunity to show kindness resonates strongly with me.

I did put up a friend of mine last winter/spring who would otherwise find himself homeless, however as he was a friend it was a pleasure to do.

It can be a cruel world out there and people could be a lot kinder to each other.

I think people change their mind when they believe they are being engaged with 

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by MattJDowse » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:01 am

Easier said than done but; ‘Those who find themselves more fortunate than others should learn to build longer tables before building higher fences’.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by AlegnaFA » Mon Sep 09, 2019 7:07 am

Well maybe your perfum or voice tone give them a head ache. How are you so sure that everyone enjoys your presence at the cafe or anywhere else?

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Jellybeans » Mon Sep 09, 2019 6:41 am

I wish all cafe owners would be so generous!
I assume your dogs are not smelling of lavender either:-)
Next time chose a further seat or change cafe shop or you could also offer them help. I often buy for my local homeless people little bags with soap, shower gel,toothpaste, wet wipes ...and clothes from the charity.
Homelessness is the worst thing could happen to a human being.And its easier to become one than you think.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by K1999 » Wed Sep 04, 2019 4:29 pm

It rather saddens me to read all of these posts.  Whilst I don't necessarily agree with what is said in the original post, I also find a lot of the responses very shaming and aggressive too.  Sometimes it is a learning curve for others, but that doesn't mean you have to be rude, disrespectful or shaming either. 

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Bibbity » Tue Sep 03, 2019 10:28 pm

I think you could use this opportunity to do something nice for this man.  Perhaps get together a little package of deodorant, wipes, hand sanitiser, a toothbrush, toothpaste and some other small hygiene items?  It probably wouldn't cost more than your weekly coffee expenditure and it might help him feel a bit more human as well.

You could give it to the cafe owner to pass on to him if you feel shy about interacting with him.  The cafe owner sounds like a decent person.  

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by sloaney donkey » Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:41 pm

“Their money is as good as yours ?”

It WAS yours until you gave it to him when he was begging outside Wandsworth town train station

😜

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Moonlightdawn » Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:35 pm

So much contempt and disdain shown towards the lady who wrote this post. When we did we ever get so belligerent and downright nasty?

I am not defending her views and yes, they are shocking. But some people come from very sheltered and parochial backgrounds.

Perhaps no one has educated her on homelessness. Perhaps she has only ever spent time with people just like herself. Perhaps she hasn’t struggled financially in life.

If we are advocating for further compassion and kindness, perhaps we can show her some too. Admonishing someone for asking a question won’t change anything.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Multitasking » Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:32 pm

I can't believe this post - any one of us could be in his shoes under different circumstances and I would hope that we were still welcomed in society. Fantastic that he is welcomed by the cafe - you should support. As another post says, he may have limited options, but you have many.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by kareng4 » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:49 am

OMG this post has to be a joke, right????? How dare you and your girlfriends look down on these people, and to call them tramps seriously???!!!  A lot of the homeless were like you and your friends once upon a time but fell onto bad times due to post traumatic stress due to being in the army, loss of job through no fault of their own, divorce etc so when you go back to your lovely little home be grateful as my mum used to say "there for the grace go I".  Next time you see this "smelly individual" that you and your friends look down on maybe be nice and offer to buy them something to eat and drink.  I would rather a room full of homeless than to spend time with you and your friends.

 

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by BarryShell's » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:38 am

Tramp?
You mean homeless person?

Im really surprised this post was put in the weekly email.

Its disgusting, lets hope you OP are never in a position like this

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Onceuponatime » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:31 am

Would be great if this gentleman knew about this place too as he might not be aware of it already. Maybe the OP could let him know.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Isithotinhere » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:05 am

One more thing to say to the OP fizzbang....having read Sarah Miles post about her work for the day centre for the homeless I thought “ooh there’s somewhere that we could all help, put money where mouth is etc”. Thought you might like to volunteer too, so I’ve copied the link for the volunteering application.
http://aceofclubs.org.uk/wp-content/upl ... -02-18.doc

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by Star » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:04 am

Humanity wins in this thread

I remember a homeless man who would come to a cafe I waitressed at when I was a youngster. He was witty and oozed charisma although sometimes stand very offish. He had an incredible back story which led to him being down in his luck in later life. A few years after he passed away and he was deeply missed.

If you open your eyes you will see homelessness has risen ; it used to be rare to see so many desperate people in London. All the cuts to services including mental health and social care has destroyed lives and sometimes people find themselves in life without support and society now does FA to help. Perhaps ask yourself why this is allowed to happen in one of the wealthiest countries in the world and perhaps put yourself in a vulnerable persons shoes and see how you would cope!

Good on the cafe and I'm sure the vast majority of the customers will be happy to see someone given a cup of a warm drink and a bite to eat who needs it in such callous times we are living in.

Re: Tramp in local coffee shop

by peter.johnson » Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:41 am

Hi Sarah Mills

I have looked at Nappy Valley from to time as I was after a roof quote.

Anyways I used to help at a drop in about 10 years ago and really enjoyed the experience some people really have a hard life.

I am semi retired now and would like to come along to Ace of Clubs to help sometime.

The church I attend in Balham along with 6 others does offer overnight accommodation along with 6 others churches they all grab a day, they work with glass door

Ironically they also have a coffee shop and are facing the problem of what to do when one of the clients came in who had urinated on one of the couches and they are still in a dimema about how best to deal with that :)

Anyways I would like to come along if that is ok 

All the best

Peter Johnson

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