by missraphaella » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:45 am
Hi Jane, writing as a mum of 3 young children (2.5, 4, and 7) with a garden in Wandsworth. It's really disappointing to read some of the negative comments here, which simply highlight how selfish some people can be.
By that I mean both people with and without children.
You only need to go to a public park like Wandsworth or Clapham Common to witness the sheer audacity of people who feel entitled to behave without any concern to their fellow citizens. Whether it is bringing their own music to blare loudly, or leaving their dogs unleashed to run up to others often when it is blatantly obvious when that frightens some people or simply rude, or leaving their rubbish behind, or parking in ways that take up two parking spots rather than one, the list goes on. I'm afraid the same lack of care towards others often is worse when they are in their own homes.
Although our children (like all) can be loud and noisy, we are very mindful of their behaviour and try to manage it by ensuring that weekends & holidays are planned as much as possible, with regular activities/outings to ensure they are stimulated and not just left to their own devices (pun intended) and bored at home. And when we are at home, I always keep an ear out and if they have become noisy for more than 5 mins or so, I firmly but gently remind them it's time to lower their volume, and suggest new activities. Our home is readily prepared with crafts boxes, activity 'zones', etc to ensure there is always something to do. That doesn't mean they're always going to be interested each time, and there are the times when they need to go for a walk or bike ride - or when they were toddlers, we took them out in the little 'harness' thing which allowed for safe free walking which always got loads of energy burnt.
What all of this does mean is that by the end of the weekend (Sunday evening) we're pretty exhausted ourselves. Keeping children, especially young ones, entertained and being mindful of their interactions in the context of a community, a neighbourhood, a street, its a fulltime endeavour. However, it was our choice to have children and we therefore think it is our responsibility to ensure our family plays its part in blending in as best as possible.
Sadly, it is often clear we seem to be a minority with this approach. I don't mean to sound self-righteous with that statement. Not all but there are other families where it is clear the parents have no interest in participating with their children, who are left to roam around the gardens for hours on end without any supervision. Or in their homes when loud bangs/crashes and screaming can go on for hours. It isn't surprising to occasionally get a glimpse of the parents - almost always engrossed on their mobile phones without ever looking up. On many occasions I've seen such parents go back into their home when the noise gets too loud, so that they can continue whatever they are doing in peach, without any regard to the effect their brood continues to have on everyone else.
Sadly it sounds like wether you remain in London, or move to the countryside, it is luck of the draw as to which types of people you will surround yourself with in a community. I fear that with mobile devices becoming so dominant - and many parents seemingly addicted to them at all times without any self-awareness of their own habits (and in turn the example they are setting for their offspring) this sort of thing will only become worse. Rearing children is never easy, and requires a lot of effort especially if you want to do so whilst considering your neighbours - and sadly, many parents/carers seem disinterested in the actual work required. They have an entitlement mentality.
I think the only thing you can do are what has already been suggested; using white noise machines, use sound-cancelling headphones (Bose, Beats, etc). You could also consider investing in sound proofing any shared walls, either by moving furniture up against them or installing professional materials - if moving isn't an option. Wishing you the best of luck.
Hi Jane, writing as a mum of 3 young children (2.5, 4, and 7) with a garden in Wandsworth. It's really disappointing to read some of the negative comments here, which simply highlight how selfish some people can be.
By that I mean both people with and without children.
You only need to go to a public park like Wandsworth or Clapham Common to witness the sheer audacity of people who feel entitled to behave without any concern to their fellow citizens. Whether it is bringing their own music to blare loudly, or leaving their dogs unleashed to run up to others often when it is blatantly obvious when that frightens some people or simply rude, or leaving their rubbish behind, or parking in ways that take up two parking spots rather than one, the list goes on. I'm afraid the same lack of care towards others often is worse when they are in their own homes.
Although our children (like all) can be loud and noisy, we are very mindful of their behaviour and try to manage it by ensuring that weekends & holidays are planned as much as possible, with regular activities/outings to ensure they are stimulated and not just left to their own devices (pun intended) and bored at home. And when we are at home, I always keep an ear out and if they have become noisy for more than 5 mins or so, I firmly but gently remind them it's time to lower their volume, and suggest new activities. Our home is readily prepared with crafts boxes, activity 'zones', etc to ensure there is always something to do. That doesn't mean they're always going to be interested each time, and there are the times when they need to go for a walk or bike ride - or when they were toddlers, we took them out in the little 'harness' thing which allowed for safe free walking which always got loads of energy burnt.
What all of this does mean is that by the end of the weekend (Sunday evening) we're pretty exhausted ourselves. Keeping children, especially young ones, entertained and being mindful of their interactions in the context of a community, a neighbourhood, a street, its a fulltime endeavour. However, it was our choice to have children and we therefore think it is our responsibility to ensure our family plays its part in blending in as best as possible.
Sadly, it is often clear we seem to be a minority with this approach. I don't mean to sound self-righteous with that statement. Not all but there are other families where it is clear the parents have no interest in participating with their children, who are left to roam around the gardens for hours on end without any supervision. Or in their homes when loud bangs/crashes and screaming can go on for hours. It isn't surprising to occasionally get a glimpse of the parents - almost always engrossed on their mobile phones without ever looking up. On many occasions I've seen such parents go back into their home when the noise gets too loud, so that they can continue whatever they are doing in peach, without any regard to the effect their brood continues to have on everyone else.
Sadly it sounds like wether you remain in London, or move to the countryside, it is luck of the draw as to which types of people you will surround yourself with in a community. I fear that with mobile devices becoming so dominant - and many parents seemingly addicted to them at all times without any self-awareness of their own habits (and in turn the example they are setting for their offspring) this sort of thing will only become worse. Rearing children is never easy, and requires a lot of effort especially if you want to do so whilst considering your neighbours - and sadly, many parents/carers seem disinterested in the actual work required. They have an entitlement mentality.
I think the only thing you can do are what has already been suggested; using white noise machines, use sound-cancelling headphones (Bose, Beats, etc). You could also consider investing in sound proofing any shared walls, either by moving furniture up against them or installing professional materials - if moving isn't an option. Wishing you the best of luck.
