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Re: New boy medical examination

by NVHusband » Mon May 13, 2019 8:29 pm

I did not go to boarding school, but had my testicles examined by a GP when I was a teenager. Some boys "balls don't drop" properly, and is a legitimate medical issue.

It has nothing to do with boarding schools.

OP- your response highlights you are being a little precious and agree with some of the posters that maybe you shouldn't have a son at boarding school.

To the other commentators saying this is inappropriate, without knowing why it is done, and the fact it is done by a registered GP, shows the ignorance on social media.

Re: New boy medical examination

by kev999 » Mon May 13, 2019 4:38 pm

Yes you should object strongly. A qualified GP has now seen your son naked. How terrible. Also tell the school you don't want your son to have showers, share a washroom, sleep in a room with other boys, do PE without a shirt, get bruised playing rugby, get told off, and certainly not to let a doctor check whether he has a hernia or is developing cancer of the testes, or risk him being a normal boy - and you can explain to him when he's a little older why he has developed into a total mothers boy wimp and is infertile and having to have aggressive treatment for cancer, all of which could have been prevented if you simply backed off and let him live a normal life.

Re: New boy medical examination

by LP73 » Tue Sep 27, 2016 8:23 am

petal wrote:For me the issue is the lack of notification to the parent rather than the issue of having a medical examination. Agree with the GP comment.
Could you imagine picking your child up from state school one day and hear that there had been a genital examination without you hearing about it?

To the OP:
Given your feelings regarding the examination behind closed doors, are you sure that you want to send your child away full stop?
I mean, forget the examination, you will be sending your child away "behind closed doors" for years!
I personally would never do this, it goes against all my parental instincts.
However you dress is up, however fancy the school is, it's an institution.
People are willingly taking their children from a family setting to an institution.
I've seen grown men still affected by this separation, it's not a joke.
To me the whole concept of boarding school is outdated and from an era when parents were not as hands on and not even that affectionate towards children in general.
Why would a modern day parent opt for this?
I want to see my children EVERY DAY, I want to see their faces, kiss them goodnight, give them a cuddle, laugh with them, talk to them when they are upset, why would you deny yourself and the children this?
Children belong in a family setting.
Education cannot be more important than family.
I just look back at how I was at that young age, I cannot think of anything more daunting or horrific than my parents sending me off to a boarding school.

This is how I see it. And just wonder if it's a good idea for someone who is not happy to hand over control of your child to a school. This is what you are doing by sending them off. For me it's bad enough that "normal" school get to tell you when to go on holiday.
Petal that is your opinion and some reading may say that you're a clingy mother for your words. I don't think the OP has asked for your opinion or thoughts on schooling. I'm really confused as to why you think that you have to comment on the boarding side of things. I think it's best to have an open mind as to all different types of schooling. Each child is different with some thriving at a boarding school and some more suited to being home each night. A parent will know be able to be decide what is best for their child. Perhaps a case of think before you write?!!

Re: New boy medical examination

by Clare_f » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:06 pm

A friend of mine went to the boarding school where his father was the school doctor. It was a standing joke that his dad had held the testicles of every boy in the school. He's not a paedophile, he's a doctor doing his job.

Certainly, when I was at school, these exams were a normal part of an examination. To me, the issue is with the lack of detail regarding the exam that was given to you.

I'm sure there would have been a chaperone, I'd check this with the school.

And petal - the child in question is 13. Not an ickle baby. For the vast majority of secondary children, they thrive at boarding schools. It's not right for everyone but what school is?

Re: New boy medical examination

by Scottov » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:11 pm

riccione wrote:As has already been posted, this is an entirely normal procedure, and as someone who had testicular cancer as a teenager i can't emphasise enough how important it is that our boys have their testicles checked as they reach puberty and beyond - i wish to god i had!

To the initial poster, i would say that if you're worried then either ask if you could be present or arrange for a chaperone to be. And to the second and third posters on this thread (who i suspect are the same person), i'd love to know exactly what your involvement in child protection is and why you'd respond to this standard procedure in such an alarmist way.
There is no way either of these people/person works in any way with child protection.

One of them (assuming they are not the same person) even recommended having the OP's mum contact the LADO to remain anonymous.

Anyone who thinks there is a need to remain anonymous to the LADO (presumably because they are all in it together in one big conspiracy) is a fantasist and not someone who works in child protection.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Scottov » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:05 pm

petal wrote:For me the issue is the lack of notification to the parent rather than the issue of having a medical examination. Agree with the GP comment.
Could you imagine picking your child up from state school one day and hear that there had been a genital examination without you hearing about it?

To the OP:
Given your feelings regarding the examination behind closed doors, are you sure that you want to send your child away full stop?
I mean, forget the examination, you will be sending your child away "behind closed doors" for years!
I personally would never do this, it goes against all my parental instincts.
However you dress is up, however fancy the school is, it's an institution.
People are willingly taking their children from a family setting to an institution.
I've seen grown men still affected by this separation, it's not a joke.
To me the whole concept of boarding school is outdated and from an era when parents were not as hands on and not even that affectionate towards children in general.
Why would a modern day parent opt for this?
I want to see my children EVERY DAY, I want to see their faces, kiss them goodnight, give them a cuddle, laugh with them, talk to them when they are upset, why would you deny yourself and the children this?
Children belong in a family setting.
Education cannot be more important than family.
I just look back at how I was at that young age, I cannot think of anything more daunting or horrific than my parents sending me off to a boarding school.

This is how I see it. And just wonder if it's a good idea for someone who is not happy to hand over control of your child to a school. This is what you are doing by sending them off. For me it's bad enough that "normal" school get to tell you when to go on holiday.
There's a few issues here

1. The school did not examine him. The local GP did.

2. The examination does not appear to be in any way unusual.

3. Whatever your views on boarding it's clear they're not based on any particular experience or knowledge. For some it's not right, for others it's the best experience of their lives.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Minatoku » Mon Sep 26, 2016 1:39 pm

I think this is absolutely crucial for boys' testes to be examined and I guess it should be standard practice at the GP.
As a mum of 3 boys I definitely want my boys to be checked from a very young age.
This is routine practice in a lot of European countries as well.
I know too many men with testicular cancers and I am sure this could prevent some of them in the future.

Re: New boy medical examination

by riccione » Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:41 pm

As has already been posted, this is an entirely normal procedure, and as someone who had testicular cancer as a teenager i can't emphasise enough how important it is that our boys have their testicles checked as they reach puberty and beyond - i wish to god i had!

To the initial poster, i would say that if you're worried then either ask if you could be present or arrange for a chaperone to be. And to the second and third posters on this thread (who i suspect are the same person), i'd love to know exactly what your involvement in child protection is and why you'd respond to this standard procedure in such an alarmist way.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Toto » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:54 am

I am a GP. A testicular examination as part of a routine examination is not unusual and is probably part of the "tick list" on the schools medical form. This is to detect undescended testicles which may not have been picked up previously and may lead to an increased risk of testicular cancer later in life. I would be surprised if your son did not have a chaperone with him during the examination. A chaperone would be there to reassure and protect your son and also protect the GP against any allegations I would speak to his matron to suggest better communication with parents about what is involved in the examination.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Scottov » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:41 am

Siansnowden wrote:Hi
I really do understand the view that I am cynical but the sad fact is that some people and of course not the vast majority will abuse their power to be inappropriate with children; this is irrelevant of profession, class, culture etc. I have provided an exmplw of Myles Bradbury ( please google this) who excelled in his field as a paediatric oncologist but who have many children who had cancer a genital examination which was never medically needed. He totally admitted his sexual interest in children and is now in prison. It is completely expected that one would sent hat this happens but I am said to say it does and I have come across it countless times due to my work. If mum speaks to the LADO anonymously at first to see what it would involve and then think about the next step but Please, please don't do nothing; you will regret it. I am not saying this GP is a perpetrator but it may be an inappropriate medical examination based on old fashioned practice at the most but it is concerning enough to pursue. Good Luck; if you contact the admin of this site, she can put you in touch with me and I am happy to talk it through. Please also Google Southbank International School, Westminster. I would like to reiterate that this is not cynicism but keeping an open mind and let the LADO do its job.
I would strongly urge you to pause, reflect and consider what you have written here.

You are clearly implying that something inappropriate has gone on, and that implication is not mitigated by just saying you're not.

The above hysteria is not proportionate and is just the sort of uninformed twaddle that could make matters worse.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Scientist » Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:58 am

I went to two boarding schools, prep and public school, starting at the age of just under 8. Most of my friends did likewise. What you describe is pretty standard and there is nothing to worry about.

Your response to it is typical of "first generation", urban boarding school parents; if you're not in this category, apologies if I got that wrong. If I am right, you need to get a grip - and don't let your own concerns negatively influence your son. Although boarding schools today are not as tough as they were when I was there, they are still a more "character building" experience than the average cushy home life a day school child will experience between the commons. The last thing a boy starting boarding school needs is a neurotic, paranoid mother (egged on by ignorant commentators) getting worked up about what she thinks is or isn't "appropriate".

Sorry to be so blunt, but your post really made me despair for an instant.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Siansnowden » Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:52 am

Hi
I really do understand the view that I am cynical but the sad fact is that some people and of course not the vast majority will abuse their power to be inappropriate with children; this is irrelevant of profession, class, culture etc. I have provided an exmplw of Myles Bradbury ( please google this) who excelled in his field as a paediatric oncologist but who have many children who had cancer a genital examination which was never medically needed. He totally admitted his sexual interest in children and is now in prison. It is completely expected that one would sent hat this happens but I am said to say it does and I have come across it countless times due to my work. If mum speaks to the LADO anonymously at first to see what it would involve and then think about the next step but Please, please don't do nothing; you will regret it. I am not saying this GP is a perpetrator but it may be an inappropriate medical examination based on old fashioned practice at the most but it is concerning enough to pursue. Good Luck; if you contact the admin of this site, she can put you in touch with me and I am happy to talk it through. Please also Google Southbank International School, Westminster. I would like to reiterate that this is not cynicism but keeping an open mind and let the LADO do its job.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Scottov » Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:13 am

Bluerose20 wrote:As far as I understand it, this is quite common. I suppose your first reaction in this situation is to be uncomfortable but I assume the examination will be done by a qualified doctor, as regulated by the General Medical Council, and is in the interest of the duty of care the school owes to your son. As your son is a full boarder, any examination to ensure your son is healthy will be comprehensive. I find it dreadfully sad that such examinations, when a party is trying to act prudently in ensuring the health of your child, is met with such grave cynicism. A testes examination is a standard medical test for males.
Could not agree more.

Of course he should be registered with the local doctor. Of course the doctor should carry out a standard medical check.

And no, I don't think it's anything to do with the school. It's the surgery who carry out the fully regulated medical service

This is cynicism bordering on something worse

Re: New boy medical examination

by LP73 » Sat Sep 24, 2016 8:31 pm

As I understand this type of examination is normal and is done at a certain age for all boys.
I do however feel that a parent should have been advised so that the child could have been accompanied if so desired.

Re: New boy medical examination

by Bluerose20 » Sat Sep 24, 2016 8:15 pm

As far as I understand it, this is quite common. I suppose your first reaction in this situation is to be uncomfortable but I assume the examination will be done by a qualified doctor, as regulated by the General Medical Council, and is in the interest of the duty of care the school owes to your son. As your son is a full boarder, any examination to ensure your son is healthy will be comprehensive. I find it dreadfully sad that such examinations, when a party is trying to act prudently in ensuring the health of your child, is met with such grave cynicism. A testes examination is a standard medical test for males.

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