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Re: Discretionary Trust payment for children - used by father

This sounds like economic abuse of the children since you also pay for their living costs and their father does not.  https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/i-need-help/ Is a specialist organisation that deals with this type of domestic abuse of your children and can probably point you towards legal adv...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: Discretionary Trust payment for children - used by father
Replies: 12
by Vicki W
Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:34 am

Re: Croydon school girl murder

This is about male violence against girls/women. The male took a bunch of flowers and a knife to ask his ex to go back out with him. If she didn't comply with his wishes, he had the knife to make her.  The boy became aggressive towards his ex, her friend intervened and got the knife that was intende...
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Croydon school girl murder
Replies: 12
by Vicki W
Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:21 am

Re: Friend's husband is a sexual harrasser

Tell your friend what happened and then decide if you want to report his behaviour to the police.  Your friend is being gaslit by her husband at the very least, as well as his assault on you and others.
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: Friend's husband is a sexual harrasser
Replies: 22
by Vicki W
Mon Mar 06, 2023 11:33 am

Re: Daughter left out of playdates despite us being very hospitable

I would ask the parent who's hosting the playdate if there's any reason why your child isn't being invited? I'd try and keep it as a gentle enquiry, explain that its upsetting to your child and see what they say.  A large amount of people in the 'you do you' culture don't understand that support sho...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: Daughter left out of playdates despite us being very hospitable
Replies: 6
by Vicki W
Mon Aug 01, 2022 10:37 am

Re: 14 year old neice being fat shamed by her parents.

I completely disagree with ‘Lesley Madden’ here. I think you are right to be concerned, and as an eating disorder survivor myself, I know first-hand how damaging these sorts of comments can be. As a matter of fact, harsh comments from my dad led to my first purge. Weight is a very delicate subject ...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: 14 year old neice being fat shamed by her parents.
Replies: 8
by Vicki W
Mon Mar 28, 2022 9:05 am

Re: 14 year old neice being fat shamed by her parents.

Lesley Madden: The parents aren't making the point about the child's health, they are making the point around sexist expectations of female bodies to look good to be accepted. As a mother of a daughter of 15 this is not acceptable parenting. Original poster. I would step in as its psychologically ha...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: 14 year old neice being fat shamed by her parents.
Replies: 8
by Vicki W
Mon Mar 28, 2022 9:04 am

Re: Can we leave one family out of a group holiday?

Why not suggest you all get together to talk through the issue and set some boundaries around kids behaviour? Is the son autistic or just badly behaved? If the latter,then your friends do need to sort this out as allowing their son to behave in an anti social manner is not good for others.  The two ...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: Can we leave one family out of a group holiday?
Replies: 9
by Vicki W
Mon Mar 14, 2022 10:54 am

Re: How do I broach the subject of being owed money with a close friend.

I would ask her if there is any reason she hasn't transferred the money yet and when that is going to happen. Tell her its making you uncomfortable to have to chase her.
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: How do I broach the subject of being owed money with a close friend.
Replies: 3
by Vicki W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:45 am

Re: Husband and mother commenting my 2 year old is too fat

I would check her weight is within normal guidelines for her size/age and if it is, I would sit your husband and mum down to have a talk with them about patrolling females weight and how this can lead to huge self esteem issues in women and girls. Tell them to focus on her intelligence, sense of hum...
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Husband and mother commenting my 2 year old is too fat
Replies: 13
by Vicki W
Mon Dec 20, 2021 10:42 am

Re: Mother won't see my child.

As above. I would concentrate on getting your child help. Many children desist after time and need help to talk through their issues, your mother doesn't sound like she will be helpful in this scenario at all.
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Mother won't see my child.
Replies: 9
by Vicki W
Mon Dec 06, 2021 10:04 am

Re: Family lawyer - recommendation needed

Angela Simpson <as@hudgellpartners.co.uk> Would highly recommend the above soliticitor re substance abusive partner.  Having said that, I would steer as far away from family court as possible.  They are not safe for women and children as they favour father's rights over women and children's safety a...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: Family lawyer - recommendation needed
Replies: 10
by Vicki W
Mon Dec 06, 2021 10:00 am

Re: husband become critical of my weight

Your husband is being passive aggressive with these comments. Ask him outright if he has an issue with your weight at the moment. Tell him you'd like more support, less sarcasm and if YOU want to lose that weight, ways that he can help by cooking healthier food, freeing up time for you to do yoga/sw...
Forum: General Chat
Topic: husband become critical of my weight
Replies: 19
by Vicki W
Mon Nov 15, 2021 10:36 am

Re: coffee morning mothers having a go at my son and me without realising I was in the room

I would definitely explain your son's needs and how his behaviour can be challenging. As the mother of a daughter that was on the receiving end of challenging behaviour, it would have been helpful if the other parents had acknowledged their children's impact on ours. As it was, in the end I had to t...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: coffee morning mothers having a go at my son and me without realising I was in the room
Replies: 14
by Vicki W
Mon Nov 01, 2021 9:21 am

Re: very messy husband starting to cause huge rows

Maybe go to counselling? He seems not to understand his behaviour is causing you massive stress. Is he massively untidy/disorganised at work? Or does he think that being female, its your job to look after him? Its not man bashing to want to be treated as an equal in your own home and if this is real...
Forum: Got a Question?
Topic: very messy husband starting to cause huge rows
Replies: 9
by Vicki W
Mon Nov 01, 2021 9:12 am

Re: Concerned about care of a baby in Clapham Common playground (4.30 today)

It would have been better I think to deal with the situation directly. Simply walking over to the baby and calling for the parent/carer would have made their behaviour visible. It also would have left the baby feeling responded to. You could follow up with a post here to alert the parents if you fel...
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Concerned about care of a baby in Clapham Common playground (4.30 today)
Replies: 13
by Vicki W
Mon Oct 11, 2021 10:09 am