I am a regular user posting under a different name for anonymity. I have an issue which is taking over my life at the moment and I would appreciate some advice.
I am a single mum to a little girl, aged 7. I work in the city and have a pretty hectic life but I manage.
Since having my daughter, my relationship with my own mother has become very strained, we used to be very close but since having my daughter, all of her attention has gone towards her and for some reason I feel as though she really dislikes me. I know she doesn’t agree with me juggling a job in the city and frequently makes remarks to try and make me feel guilty and as though I should be a stay at home mum (I wish I could be but can’t afford to be!)
If I ever do anything for myself, such as have dinner with friends or god forbid have my nails done, then I am made out to be selfish (I have overheard conversations with mum and my stepfather). I would like to point out that I work hard to provide a good income for my daughter and I so that we can do nice things and go to nice places. It’s a struggle being a single mum but I’m also thinking of our future by staying with my secure job in a company where I have worked for years.
My mother is a shopaholic, to the point where they have had to remortgage their house to support her spending habits, she buys for my daughter constantly and completely overtakes and outdoes me to the point where I feel hurt. This may sound ungrateful but it’s complete overkill, to the point where she turned up on our doorstep three evenings last week, unannounced with clothes, gifts, chocolates for my little girls. Am I wrong to think this is not normal? I feel she is completely obsessed with her.
I also have boundaries as every mum does and whenever I try to discipline my daughter, she will undermine me and say ‘oh stop, she’s only...’. It boils my blood.
I’m not sure how or if I could every approach her to talk as she is very fiery and emotional and will most definitely fly off the handle, therefore I feel a need some advice on how to cope with this.
Thanks for reading my long post!