Is my husband being led astray? Post Reply

[sunsout]

My husband has recently reconnected with an old school friend. He contacted him out of the blue having recently got divorced and in his words keen to 'start over'. However this seems to have led to my husband becoming his wingman and going to places that I know he wouldn't normally go. Him being there for his friend seems to be taking priority over family time and our time and to be honest I am worried that my husband is liking this life a bit too much. Should I be worried? Has this situation happened to anyone else?

[coldatchristmas]

I have to say that I wouldn't be too happy. It is great that he wants to help him but there has to be a balance.  Might be helpful if you suggest that he ropes in some other old friends so that they can share the load. Have you told him how you feel? 

[rubyonrails]

I think that I would be a little concerned bit only because something similar happened to a cousin and her partner about 18 months ago and they nearly split up over it. He was obviously nearing his mid life and loved the party party scene as a welcome break from his home life obviously using his friend's needs to validate the behaviour. They did get it all back on track but if I were you I would be on it sooner. Good idea to get friends involved from above poster. I would possibly be more direct. Not sure if that helps?

[Homeiswherethewineis]

Compromise is important, he might be enjoying going out but he needs to be fair to you too. Speak to him and tell him how you feel. Let him know your concerns (In a articulate, calm and assertive manner). Offer a compromise as well, So for example, You can go out every second Saturday but check in at midnight to let me know you are ok. And you can then ask for what you would like to do to! 

I'm sure a girls night out is in the books for you? It's healthy to have a social life and more so away from your partner. I go out with my friends once a month no questions asked and my hubby the same. We also go out just the two of us quite often too. You can't be too worried about what he gets up to, it is out of your control and a loose loose situation if you do worry.
Worry + stress = fighting = problems in the relationship and wrinkles. 
Or Don't worry + He is a dooche = problems in the relationship but you have no wrinkles cause...no worries.
but the other option is Don't worry + he gets over his mid life crisis  = healthy relationship. 

You are the star of your life and it's up to you to enjoy it and not be overly concerned about the supporting role.