Teenage daughter with anorexia

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Suzie
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Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Suzie » Thu Jul 16, 2020 6:41 am

Hi,

I'm looking for professional advice in local area (child psychologist, nutritionist), and also those who have been through a similar ordeal.
The lockdown has had a huge impact on my daughter eating habits. Within 6-8 weeks she lost lots of weight and is on the verge of BMI underweight scale (as GP pointed, but apparently she hasn't gone down (yet) the extra 1kg to be recommended for NHS treatment !!!) 
Please, please, please do let me know if you know anyone who can help as this is turning to be a very tricky situation of mental and physical support for my daughter, and we as a family, need guidance to fight this disease.Many thanks
S
Last edited by Suzie on Sun Jul 19, 2020 8:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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TJ74
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby TJ74 » Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:11 am

Hi Suzie.  I have sent you a private message.

Edited to say that the PM seems to be stuck in my outbox so I have sent you an email as well.
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Teenmum
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Teenmum » Thu Jul 16, 2020 2:35 pm

Hi,
I’m sorry this is not private I don’t know how to do that.

I am not a medical professional. My daughter was suicidal, clinically depressed and bulimic. All of these suggestions are just things I did to try and help her. Ultimately it had to come fro her, and eventually she was able to hear that.
I am very sorry to hear what your daughter and you are going through. Unfortunately it is not uncommon and resources are stretched. I started by taking whatever help I could get, just to make my daughter feel that something was being done. Any help you get should provide you with an explanation of what they are trying to achieve and how they’re going to try and do that.
Ask your GP to put your daughter on the CAMHS list. Check with CAMHS that they get the letter (020 3513 6631) They will contact you for an interview and have a series of protocols that you will be taken through for support for your daughter, and they offer family therapy. There is a substantial lead time for this unfortunately.
If you can afford it or have medical insurance, contact the Priory in Roehampton. If you’re going down the insurance route, you will need a letter of referral from your GP. I believe they too have a fair waiting list, but it will probably be quicker than the NHS. Your daughter will be assessed for risk aswell as the underlying issue and treatment including medication and therapy proposed.
The Thurleigh Road Surgery has three clinical
Psychologists who specialise in children and adolescents. They are private and also have waiting lists.
I’ve attached a photo of 10 things you can do to protect your mental health, which may help you provide structure for your daughter.
If you are fearful for your daughter’s safety, then take her to A&E.

I hope this helps. All the best.
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Suzie
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Suzie » Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:18 am

Hello TJ74 and Teenmum,

Thank you for your messages, they are much appreciated.
I will be in touch with you privately.
S
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Lovelearning
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Location: Battersea, Chelsea, Sw London

Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Lovelearning » Sat Jul 18, 2020 12:25 am

Dear Suzie
I hope you have managed to find the medical support and a kind clinical psychologist to help you both but I just had an idea, something you could do immediately. Big Life Journal Uk has journals that help support children and teens with their mental health and self esteem. They are out of stock on Amazon but you can get them direct from their website. I have been using these journals as a confidence boost alongside academic support and tutoring lessons, but perhaps you could also use it alongside the medical help.
The kids usually really like them. Also I came across Young Minds org uk , a charity with lots of help and support.
All best
Lorraine xx lovelearningcompanycom
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Suzie
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Suzie » Sat Jul 18, 2020 1:30 pm

Dear Lorraine, Thank you very much for your post, support and suggestions.We are still working the basics out as the reality hit us fully only in the last few days. Since then we have done some very important discussions and made few changes, but with this illness it’s one step forward one step backward. We are now in process of organising some professional care and have been in touch with our health insurance. Your journal suggestion will be a great addition to help with feelings and building up the confidence, and I will be ordering it today. Many Thanks.S
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CvoM
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby CvoM » Mon Jul 20, 2020 12:06 pm

[font]Hi Suzie,

I am so so sorry you are going through this. It's brutal. Here are some brilliant places to go. I'm not allowed to post the links so you'll have to google them.

Beat - eating disorders charity are fantastic
Orri UK - treatment center in London offering all sorts therapy options
Bernie Wright - amazing counsellor specialising in EDs. If you google her name + eating disorders her website Healing MInds will come up.  She is based in Tunbridge Wells but is currently offering online therapy and may well know of others that she can recommend. She is super. 
[/font]

I had EDs for 15 yrs starting in my teens and I've been free for 18 yrs. I am writing a book and I deliver talks & workshops on eating disorders, body image and mental health. Happy to chat privately if you like. 

Good luck and I wish you both very well.

Sending love,

Carolina x
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CvoM
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby CvoM » Mon Jul 20, 2020 3:33 pm

Hi, just came back to see what response you've had to your post as it's been on my mind all day and seen the font on my reply went all huge and weird. I'm so sorry about. Hope it didn't come across as shouty. Eeek! Take care xxx
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NORMALMUM
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby NORMALMUM » Sat Jul 25, 2020 5:37 pm

Hi,
Haven't posted on here before, but felt I had to. My Daughter was Anorexic 4 years ago, at just turned 14.
The advice others have given you is good esp. desperately trying to get to see someone in CAMHS
or good private equivalent ASAP. There is evidence that the sooner they get help, the better the outcome and quicker recovery.
My daughter lost weight so quickly, her heart got to a dangerously low level, that she was seen at CAMHS straight away. It is an anxiety based illness, often linked with OCD. CAMHS told us on our first visit that it was nothing we had said or done and there is very strong evidence now that there is a strong genetic link.
I'll try not to waffle on, but try to give you some hopefully helpful pointers.
- Buy a copy of 'Anorexia and other eating disorders' by Eva Musby, straight away.
- All good clinics will treat it as 'family therapy' Her little brother got time off school to come to some of the meetings. His help was invaluable, when my husband and I were at the end of our tether, he actually got her to eat just by being calmer. Be open as a family, talk about it openly with family and friends and have no secrets between each other. This makes it possibIe to laugh about it occasionally, helping your child to reduce anxiety and shame. We didn't come across any stigma, people were sympathetic, it's a serious life threatening mental illness and you wouldn't keep it quiet if it was cancer.
- Tell the school straight away, they should be able to arrange something for supervision at lunchtime, tell teachers to look out for them and have regular catch up meetings as the situation changes on how best to support your child.
It will take some time, but will improve day by day slowly with right help. My Daughter has maintained a healthy weight for years now, still quite controlling and regimented, but eats everything and is happy. I think it might just always be 'her thing', I kind of think everyone has 'their thing' anyway...
Good luck, don't blame yourself or waste time on guilt, she will get better, she already has a great Mum by seeking out help. We were suprised to hear from CAMHS how many parents, ignored, were in denial (just pull yourself together), too ashamed to seek help sooner, this just makes their job harder and recovery much longer. I'll be thinking of you x
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Suzie
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Suzie » Mon Jul 27, 2020 2:16 pm

Hello NormalMum,
Thank you for your post. I'll be in touch with you privately.
S
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Suzie
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Suzie » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:29 pm

Many thanks to you all who have replied to my post either on NV or in private messages. I very much appreciate your support in such circumstances that, perhaps, brought some not so nice memories back to you. I do own you an update, though. I have some good news (given the situation) to share. 
 Since my post last week (in very deep desperation), we had a great response from NHS. As we were in the process of organising the private care, we had a triage phone call from NHS. Based on what was discussed, they invited us for an assessment. The diagnose was then confirmed and we will be now starting family therapy. We are extremely relieved that there is a professional help which is available to us now. We are on 'the train' now but we don't know how long it's going to take. We know it's going to be difficult, very difficult....  I have also purchased the Big life journal (as suggested in one of the posts). My daughter is reading it and liking it! It should be in the library of every teen, very positively oriented and motivational. Thank you again for finding the time to reply to my post and sharing your experience, I greatly appreciate it. 
Suzie 
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AndrewMane
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby AndrewMane » Sat Aug 01, 2020 6:42 pm

I pray for you and hope that everything will be alright.
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Lovelearning
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Re: Teenage daughter with anorexia

Postby Lovelearning » Mon Aug 03, 2020 3:38 pm

So pleased to hear that Suzie, you are heading in the right direction and so brave of you to ask for help.
So pleased The Big Life Journal is proving to be a help.
One step at a time.

Lots of love to you all.
Lorraine
LovelearningcompanyCom
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