am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

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tableforone
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am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby tableforone » Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:10 pm

Apologies for bringing down the mood on a Friday afternoon but all the talk of things opening up and pubs being booked out until September has reminded me that I really don't have any of those go to groups of friends that everyone seems to have.
I have a lovely family and enjoy spending time with them but I am increasingly aware that the friends I had when I first came to London have all moved out or moved on and somehow along the line I haven't made any great new friends to call my tribe. Probably due to lockdown the feeling is more acute than it was previously. I just know that I will hate seeing those happy groups on the common when they are allowed to meet up. Is it just me, am I the only one flying solo? Apologies again for the slightly depressing post.
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Sw18mumma
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby Sw18mumma » Sat Feb 27, 2021 5:17 pm

I feel exactly the same 😕 so many lovely friends have moved out of London and with slightly older children making new friends through the mummy network feels much harder.
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Lisa31
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby Lisa31 » Sun Feb 28, 2021 12:11 pm

How old are you table for one? So many of my friends have left London also. If you’re early thirties maybe we can get a little group together and meet for lunch in a few months or something :)
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Jermajesty
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby Jermajesty » Sun Feb 28, 2021 1:05 pm

Hi, any interest in golfing or tennis? March 29th is not far away :D
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Lucy.pite@yahoo.com
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby Lucy.pite@yahoo.com » Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:45 am

I think this seemingly endless lockdown is really having an effect of lots of people. I saw this posted in a local councillor’s newsletter. Forwarding in case it’s of help:
Just seen this on a local Councillor’s newsletter. Do you think this is something Joan might be interested in? Or you, Helen?
One of our residents has been pioneering a free 6-week course designed to help people who are struggling with hopelessness during the pandemic. You can find more details at www.hopeagain.com. Wandsworth Libraries launched its new scheme, A Chance To Talk, in February with the support of The Reading Agency. The programme has been designed to combat the growing problem of loneliness and social isolation – the Campaign To End Loneliness says that there are nine million people in the UK who “lack the friendship and support we all need”. Librarians are giving two hours a week from their working days to the programme; each call will be twenty minutes and “could be a lifeline for someone who is feeling stranded and alone”. If you know of anybody who might enjoy a weekly twenty minute phone chat please call Southfields Library on 020 8780 1945 or email Patrick.malone@gll.org
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SRWML88
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby SRWML88 » Mon Mar 01, 2021 7:16 am

Hi table for one,
I moved into the Nightingale Triangle area seven years ago and have struggled to find friends too. It seems that there are lots of groups of ladies in the area who already have a clique in place and there is no room for another person, especially one whose children are already grown up and have flown the nest.
I feel your sadness. If you would like to PM me, maybe we could meet up for a stroll? X
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wildatheart
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby wildatheart » Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:07 am

It seems to me that the way people mostly meet is through shared interests or hobbies. Is there something you are interested in that you can join online for now with a view to then meet up and have walks etc.
Most of the people I know whose children have left have found friends this way. Equally young mums who feel out on a loop. It can provide conversation.
Equally, volunteering for something you believe in leads to meeting people.
Wish you all the best.
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stevehall
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby stevehall » Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:24 am

If you are in business /entrepreneur there are several local groups l can introduce you to. Some are lady only and others are already meeting online so you can get to know people even before the crisis is over. 
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cazzieob
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby cazzieob » Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:01 am

Hi
Very brave of you to write this.Please do send me a pm and we can chat 🥰
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tableforone
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby tableforone » Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:28 am

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies.
I know it sounds ridiculous but hadn't thought of volunteering from a sociable point of view but that is a great idea, thank you.
I think that I will start with that and then maybe join a tennis class in September when the children start their new term. Could anyone recommend something for a rusty returner? SRWML88 and Lisa31 thanks for reaching out. I will get in touch when I am feeling a bit better. Thanks again everyone for your replies. You have no idea how lovely it is to have even a virtual conversation.
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The Wiser Collective
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby The Wiser Collective » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:14 pm

You're not alone Tablefor1. There are lots of people who would like to find a way to get to know neighbours and friends locally and it's been especially hard during lockdown. Would you like to come for a walk and chat on one of the local commons when rules relax? Walk Buddies is hopefully going to be able to start from 29th March with small groups (6 max) able to meet for a stroll and chat - maybe a takeout coffee https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdEIro8Krj4nFYOFVUs6kOh-bZruHV1xQ_xWfRsE4nWGz1zzQ/viewform?usp=sf_link

All ages welcome - you can register here to be kept informed when walks are starting in your area.

Walk Buddies-2.png
I'll be there!

Sarah
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Kiwi Mum
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby Kiwi Mum » Mon Mar 01, 2021 12:28 pm

For women I can really recommend the Battersea WI - this is the Women’s Institute for Battersea (not the general WI - visit the specific website for the Battersea WI.com
Looking to meet more women, I have joined as they have a range of great groups that meet regularly - everyone is very friendly! There are groups for art/ photography/ walking and a film club and book club. They have virtual meet-ups at the moment and socially distanced meet-ups when this is permitted. It’s been a great way to meet some lovely women in Battersea.
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ellsbells
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby ellsbells » Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:30 pm

I'm in the same boat. Lots of friends have moved away or gone abroad. It can make you feel a bit rubbish seeing all the gangs of friends out enjoying themselves on the Common when the weather is nice, or eating in restaurants together. I'd love to meet up for a walk with anyone interested!
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dudette
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby dudette » Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:40 pm

I actually thought Annabel's post this morning was a bit insensitive to people like you. Not everyone has thousands of friends on WhatsApp all arranging post-Covid get-togethers. I think it made lonely people feel even lonelier. Even I who thought I had quite a few friends have only got one post-Covid event sorted, and hearing that Annabel seems to have loads of them made me feel quite inadequate!
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CheekychappieMum
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Re: am i the only one in Clapham without hundreds of friends

Postby CheekychappieMum » Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:47 pm

Hi Tableforone....

Such is my penchant for chocolate I actually read your user name as Toblerone....never mind...

Well done you for airing your feelings! 

The replies have all had great advice in them. One thing that struck me...whilst you appreciate the ideas and offers of company you mention you´ll contact 2 of the forum members when you´re feeling better. My gut feeling is that when we  want to change something that involves us leaving our comfort zone we invariably put it off.....How about meeting both of those members together since it´ll be less pressure as 3 rather than 2 of you. And how about doing it as soon as Covid permits.  If you wait till you feel like it you might wait forever. If we wait for perfect circumstances "when we feel like it/when everyone can make it" etc we often end up missing out on the opportunity altogether. 

Just a thought....you´ve been so honest and it seems there are plenty in the same boat.
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