Feeling so sad

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mojenko31
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Feeling so sad

Postby mojenko31 » Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:05 pm

I'm so sorry just need to get it out of my chest.....I came to uk 9 years ago and stayed with lovely English family for 4 years as an aupair....they had 2 children and soon as I left they had a third one.....we kept in contact with family and chat a lot on the phone.....I took them as my english parents and they took me as their big daughter....they wanted to come to my wedding last year but unfortunately lady fell I'll with cancer and had to have a chemotherapy......I just received a call to say that she is gone forever......don't know how to cope with that.....I feel so sad ....is a weird feeling.....never lost someone over here.....
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tillyboo1
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Re: Feeling so sad

Postby tillyboo1 » Fri Oct 04, 2013 3:33 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Bereavment and grief are the two hardest things, I think, in life to go through. there isn't any hard and fast rules as to what you do or how you cope, unfortunately. All I can advise is to take each day as it comes, baby steps. And cry, when you want to or when feel like it, dont bottle it up, as it will just eat you away.
I have experienced several losses in my life and you never get used to that "awful feeling" of losing someone.
There are bereavement organizations, who can help, and would recommend, if you dont have any close friends or family close by.
I hope that may be of some help.
Take care x
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tooposhtopush
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Re: Feeling so sad

Postby tooposhtopush » Sat Oct 05, 2013 2:09 pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

It's not clear from your post, are you still over in the UK?

If so are there any church or support groups that might help you?

If you're not in the UK do you have friends and family you can talk to?

So sorry.... :cry:
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CBW7779
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Re: Feeling so sad

Postby CBW7779 » Sat Oct 05, 2013 8:35 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and that of the family. What a horrible shock. I wonder how the lady's children are coping, it must be extremely hard for them also. I wonder if you might think about contacting the father to ask if he/the children would like some support from you, as they must all know you so well, and I'm sure they would all be very happy to see you? Perhaps the children would also benefit from the 'continuity' which might come from having you in their lives again at this difficult time? I would agree with the other posters about talking as much as possible (although probably not with the family, as they may need to grieve differently). You sound like a lovely person so I'm sure you have nice friends and they will hopefully be happy to talk if you let them know how you are feeling? One problem with death is that I think people worry that they will say the wrong thing, but I think it's better to speak than to keep silent and bottle things up. Good luck xx
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balhamwilbur
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Re: Feeling so sad

Postby balhamwilbur » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:30 pm

So sorry for your sad news. I just wanted to post that even if the family want to just be together at the moment, do please keep in touch with them over the coming years, it sounds like you have had a lovely relationship. One day those children will want to know more about their mother and how she was with them as children - and you will be able to tell them stories about things she did and fun they had together which they and their dad may not remember. If you can bear it, perhaps write down some of your memories now? My mother died when I was in my 20s, long before I had children, and I am now fascinated to hear stories of how she was with me when I was little. I am still in touch with a nanny who looked after my sister and me over 40 years ago and lives in another country, but it's lovely to have that connection. Take care.
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mojenko31
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Re: Feeling so sad

Postby mojenko31 » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:48 pm

Oh thank you so much for all your lovely posts....I'm still in uk and have my husband but he didnt know them and as a guy he doesn't really understand how I feel.I'm in contact with them and as my curent family is going away for holiday I decided I would go visit them and help dad with kids....we have so many lovely memories and I'm sure as you said guys they would love to hear some funny stories we had together......it really help ton read all your supportive messages and I was right when I poured my heart out here....I knew you will help me little bit better......
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