Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

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sunlotion
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Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby sunlotion » Fri Jul 03, 2020 5:13 pm

Earlier this year we had a plan to go away with 2 other families. We paid the deposit on a lovely villa in Spain and each family booked their own flights.

This week we got an email from the villa company wanting the balance on the villa but my husband has decided he doesn't want us to go. He doesn't want to spend the money this year.

I'm really cross that he's waited until now to speak up. It turns out he didn't expect us to be able to go and thought that we would never need to have the conversation. REALLY!!

I think us not going will wreck it for everyone. The other families know each other through us and although they get on well I don't think that they would have booked a holiday together. I feel dreadful and just don't know what to say to them, let alone the children who are all so excited. Is there a kind way to do this? Any help much appreciated.
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twomonkeys
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby twomonkeys » Sat Jul 04, 2020 5:03 pm

Sorry to hear you're in such a quandry, I can understand your worry. 

However, is your husband's decision based on the current Covid-19 situation (worry and less confidence in his job and/or travelling to Spain) or just a change of mind on what he wants to spend money on?

If it's the first reason, it's a bit easier to explain to friends (and the children might have to understand), whereas the second is a bit more contrary and not very fair on the others. 

 
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MdlR
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby MdlR » Mon Jul 06, 2020 6:01 am

Tricky
Go with out him

Otherwise everyone will lose out on their flights and the deposit and depending on how many weeks To go you still may have to pay the balance.

Not to mention maybe it’s a small business owner of the villa whose livelihood will be affected by a cancellation if you don’t have to pay up. As it’s not a cancellation by the airline or government you may not get any deposit back

Yup easier to go with out him
Have fun !
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IrenaPar
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby IrenaPar » Mon Jul 06, 2020 6:32 am

What is the Financial penalty if you pull out now? Has everyone paid up except for you?
I would check your travelers insurance. Between Covid and the economic forecast I think there are plenty of good reasons not to go. As someone suggested if the risk to your friendships outweighs the other risks you could go on your own.

Personally the Covid risk is the greatest... especially if you get stuck out there if one of you or all of you develops symptoms or worse. Even if there is no travel ban...
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abcdefg
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby abcdefg » Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:11 am

Our friends have cancelled on us.  It's our family home though so there is not money involved in the same way, but I totally understand.  They have four children and as their flights were cancelled they'd have to drive which they didn't think was possible.  Maybe this wasn't the reason though, maybe it was something else?  I don't know.  Either way, we asked two other families just last week who can't go on their planned holidays for various reasons so I think we will have a fun time anyway and they were of course delighted with a nice invite.  This year is the exception.   Can nobody else take your spot?  It would take a pretty harsh person to not understand your woes this year, loads of people totally understandably have money worries plus flying looks like a nightmare although don't know anyone that's been on a plane yet! x
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nvmof3
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby nvmof3 » Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:21 am

We had to cancel two holidays due to Covid as they were during lockdown and the flights were all cancelled. On both occasions, insurers reassured us that we would be covered if we cancelled. However when it came to processing the claims, both claims were rejected by the insurance company. This was on the basis that we should have been able to get the money back from the travel companies, but they have all also said no and advised us to claim on insurance. Essentially they all want someone else to cough up, and we are stuck in the middle with no holiday and no money.
You should be very careful about cancelling as it is very unlikely you will get your deposit back and you may find you are liable for the balance by now.
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dudette
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby dudette » Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:29 am

I don’t really understand his thinking. If you paid a deposit and for the flights then you will lose that anyway. As far as the other families are concerned, either they cancel too in which case I think it would be reasonable for them to ask you to cough up for they money they’ve lost, or else they go and suddenly find themselves having to pay the entire cost of the villa, in which case it would be perfectly reasonable of them to ask you to pay for that too. So you’ll just end up paying for a holiday you’re not going on and if you don’t pay (you said he doesn’t want to pay for a holiday this year) you could lose your friends over this. I think your husband needs a rethink.
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EmmaTVEdwards
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby EmmaTVEdwards » Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:31 am

Such a shame. It may be there is no alternative, but a better understanding of his concerns will help you take a view about whether he's being reasonable. Do you have access to your accounts and can see what the family's financial position is? Presumably this is a joint decision about feasibility not just for him to decide? If you satisfy yourself that this really can't be afforded, or it'd be irresponsible because there are clear financial risks on the horizon, then hopefully it will make telling your friends easier. You don't owe them the ins and outs of your finances, but a bit of frankness is probably fair given it does sound like they'd be left in a difficult position and potentially losing out financially themselves.
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GuyD73
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby GuyD73 » Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:53 am

Just a thought, but if the other families are open to it, and you really can't afford to go, perhaps offer the holiday to another family. You might need to pay to change the names or offer it at a discount, but I'd imagine this might be rather less injurious for all concerned than other options....   
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sunlotion
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Re: Worried abut letting friends down on a holiday

Postby sunlotion » Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:02 pm

So sorry not to update this thread sooner.

I summed up the courage to speak to our friends abut my husbands concerns and the very real possibility that we might need to drop out. They were so unbelievably understanding. My closest friend even offered to pay our share.

Interestingly the conversation also highlighted that one of my girlfriends is quite nervous about the whole COVID situation and led to a longer conversation about how the holiday would work.

The upshot is that it will be a laid back mostly villa based affair which won't break the bank and we are now going :-)


Thank you all again so much for your replies.
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