Congrats on the job offer and the fact that it’s still in place following this weird time. I just wanted to say that although we as a family have never been ex pats, I instigated a year long trip around the world for me, my husband (Only child) and 3 kids (7, 3 and 2). It caused all manner of problems and guilt trips from my in laws. They are not the adventurous types and haven’t ever left the area where they were born so it was a completely alien concept and all they could focus on was how they wouldn’t see the kids, that it would be bad for them, that we wouldn’t remember to put sun cream on them and that blonde children are apparently statistically more likely to be kidnapped around the world (one of the more bizarre reasons not to go). We invited them to join us in one country for Christmas half way round which they did but it was still just negativity, misery, guilt trips and point blank refusing to discuss anything to do with the trip. My family on the other hand were very happy and excited for us. We also decided to move out of London on our return which has also been met with disappointment and negativity. They don’t like change. It’s 30 mins further for them to drive to see us.
Anyway it’s not quite the same thing as we did have a return date (although could well have decided to stay in NZ) but my point is that my husband and I saw both the Round the World Trip and the move to the country as opportunities for our kids and their future which I would always prioritise over those of my in laws and also my own parents. My husband feels pretty guilty about it because his mum in particular is good at emotional blackmail. It sounds harsh but if it’s something you want/need to do for/with your family, you should follow your dream. Imagine doing this when there was not much air travel, FaceTime, etc.
Whilst I can understand their sadness, I think it’s pretty low to use emotional blackmail to try to make you stay for them.
I hope it resolves itself soon in the best way for everyone involved.