Stay at Home Mum

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Lily85
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Stay at Home Mum

Postby Lily85 » Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:15 am

Hi everyone
I am contemplating being a stay at home mum due to a change in work circumstances whilst I use the opportunity to retrain in a different area. Having said that I have actually enjoyed lockdown and looking after my two so quite happy to have the extra time with them too.
As ashamed as I am to admit this, I feel that there is a stigma attached to being a stay at home mum. Are there any other stay at home mums in the area as I don’t seem to meet that many? I feel as though I would stand out amongst the nannies. I have been excluded from a few play dates whilst on maternity leave as I was the only parent not working so wasn’t in an nanny what’s app group.
I wondered how you find being a stay at home mum particularly in an area with predominately working mums?
No offense intended to either working mums or stay at home mums as I think everyone should choose what works for them.
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Nw1981
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby Nw1981 » Mon Jun 22, 2020 6:07 am

My experience was funnily the opposite. I felt like the only person I met who actually intended to work full time post baby around here and got loads of patronising “poor you can’t you work something out?” Comments from people who didn’t seem to understand that sometimes a woman’s wage can be too large to pass up on. If you can do it then I would! You’ll definitely meet people
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NoodleFan
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby NoodleFan » Mon Jun 22, 2020 6:47 am

Hi

It’s not so obvious now that the kids are at secondary school but when they were at primary we had one class where there were more full time working parents and therefore more nannies, and one with more SAHMs and part-time working parents. I was lucky to be working 3 days a week so had time to go to a few coffee mornings and help out with repping etc., whilst being able to separate myself from school life on the working days, which I found to be a good balance. My hours were quite flexible too which meant I could take the kids to play dates and have other kids over.

So it depends on the type of class you have but also on what else you have going on - sounds like your re-training would provide a life away from school but would it mean interacting with people or just studying by yourself?

Best of luck.
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honeygranola
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby honeygranola » Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:05 am

Found your post so interesting because I work full time and always feel the opposite. Just goes to show that sometimes we are victims of our own overthinking!

I agree with all the previous posters. Make the right decision for you and your family, try to be open and not pre-judge and you will find like minded people around you.

And next time I’m in a guilt spiral, I will think of your post and try to reset!
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NoodleFan
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby NoodleFan » Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:37 am

Really hope people read this thread and do just that honeygranola. It often feels like we’re the ones finding our feet in the playground :)
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Starr
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby Starr » Sun Jun 28, 2020 3:32 pm

Women must stop tearing each other down!
We suffer as mothers more than men whether we are Stay at Home or In full time or even part- time work.
Women need to support each other as mums. Anyone who judges another mum for their circumstances or choices needs to just stop. Almost always they are projecting their own anxieties onto another
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Nw1981
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Re: Stay at Home Mum

Postby Nw1981 » Mon Jun 29, 2020 1:44 pm

So glad it’s not just me honey granola!
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