19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

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Wetherby
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19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby Wetherby » Tue Sep 15, 2020 11:54 am

Really looking for the sensitive and helpful responses to this post that Nappy Valley is so brilliant at :

The 19 year old son of a friend has achieved his dream. He has secured a place at his first choice Uni to study his dream course and he'll be starting in London in October. It has been a bit of a long road - he had to change tack after school and do extra study at college to  get the additional qualifications he needed but he's done it and he's there, so all good.

He has however had long standing issues with concentration, motivation, focus and confidence since before GCSEs, which have really held him back. He recognises this and he and his amazing Mum have talked about him getting some support (perhaps talking therapy?) to help him through his Uni years. Having worked so hard to get onto this course, he really wants to make the most of it and to feel better about himself. This is more than just typical teenage boy issues. 

If there is anyone out there who can help or knows someone who can, we'd love you to respond to this. There is a feeling he might work better with a man but all recommendations are welcome.
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Hannah102
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Re: 19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby Hannah102 » Mon Sep 21, 2020 7:31 am

I don’t have anyone to suggest as funnily enough Im looking for someone for my son too who has very similar issues. The good thing is that your friends son wants to get help. My son has resisted for a long time and has finally accepted that help would be a good idea but we are not sure where to start. I’ll be watching this thread!
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Calm
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Re: 19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby Calm » Mon Sep 21, 2020 9:10 am

Nigel Lawson is the person you need.
His number is 07462 281 780
Nigel helped me with my son a couple of years ago. He is very insightful and inspiring.
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Pippa Harris
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Re: 19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby Pippa Harris » Mon Sep 21, 2020 10:39 am

Hello,
I work for a tutoring agency called Harrison Allen based in Earlsfield and we have many specialist tutors who work with a variety of pupils with extra needs, SEN, low self esteem, mental health issues, EAL and refugees.
Please do give my colleague Rosa a call as I am sure it will be something we can assist you with. I have also heard of universities offering support to students and a mentor system amongst their peers.
Best wishes
Pippa
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Calm
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Re: 19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby Calm » Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:45 am

Oops! Nigel's surname is Lowson. Autocorrect always thinks it knows better!
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CheekychappieMum
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Re: 19 year old seeking help with confidence & motivation

Postby CheekychappieMum » Mon Sep 21, 2020 4:37 pm

What a lovely friend you are and it sounds like your friend´s son will need some mentoring support. Please talk to The Parent Practice based in Clapham. One of the co-director enlisted a lot of support from her own son´s university for exactly the symptoms you describe. Elaine Halligan and her colleagues will be very well placed to help you. I have read Elaine´s fascinating book about unlocking her son's potential and can recommend The Parent Practice´s approach to supporting children of all ages. 
www.theparentpractice.com

Finally, I would also check that he has been assessed by an experienced Educational Pyschologist to rule out ADHD. A lot of people are unaware that ADHD people find motivation far more challenging than others. If any task is not very interesting to them, or they cannot see the point of it (that last aspect is often overlooked) then they just cannot summon up the energy or inclination to start/complete the task. This is because they lack the chemicals in their brains just to "do it anyway". In addition to this, they have a different sense of time so looming deadlines don´t necessarily spur them on either. I have direct experience of all this! Replacing the low levels of certain chemicals with medication as part of multi-strand strategic approach can make an enormous difference, I was reluctant to medicate for many many years and now I regret it. The newly-diagnosed 16 year old son of a friend of mine said it was like being slightly short-sighted and wearing glasses for the first time. 
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