IMHO you are doing absolutely the right thing in looking for a family to chat to? Ideally chat to more than one, with kids of distinct ages and genders? All of us are very lucky in this particular neck of the SW London woods to have such a high number of really excellent schools (although this means that demand for places is commensurately high?) Inevitably, every single school has its own narrative - both public and whispered? More often than not, it tends to suit the proprietors to allow these narratives to develop without much (visible/patent) intervention from the school itself? The gossip you have heard is just part and parcel of any of these local school's public name and reputation. All the Thomas's schools, (particularly TB, for obvious reasons), attract (again IMHO) a disproportionate amount of parent chat. Against all this noise and confusion, you have done absolutely the right thing in visiting and it sounds as if your instincts are fairly clear? It is obviously a good school and, as you have already identified, has a very nurturing ethos? Personally, we found that we got very clear feelings from each school we visited and there can be a lot to be said for trusting your gut? Only you know your own child/ren?! Keep talking to as many TB parents as you can find to talk to - confidentially? I suspect you are unlikely to get much candour on a public forum? Do feel free to DM me! Good luck!