Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

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MrsSanta
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Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby MrsSanta » Thu Dec 10, 2020 3:24 pm

Hello Everyone
I have a 10 year old boy and he really wants one of latest iphone's for Christmas.

This seems a very over the top present for a 10 year old.

I'm getting all the usual back story about how all his friends have them and so I wanted to know if I am being a bit mean.

Thank you
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rubyonrails
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby rubyonrails » Thu Dec 10, 2020 4:04 pm

Absolutely not being mean. I would have thought a flash iphone is wrong for 10 year old on so many levels most of all his safety!

Go for one of the older models if you go for anything.
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lemonzest
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby lemonzest » Thu Dec 10, 2020 4:18 pm

Completely agree with rubyonrails regarding flash gadgets drawing unwanted attention. I'd get a refurbished something-older-which-no-one's-interested-in-stealing, if the present absolutely has to be an iPhone.

I feel like there are pros, but there are also other cons (such as having to deal with social media nonsense all day long, for example WhatsApp, because yes despite the 16+ age limit all the year 6s with 'phones appear to be on it) and I don't want my child having the hassle right now. They are also 10 and they are getting pyjamas, books and a bike from us!
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Jonny Dyson Property Consultants
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby Jonny Dyson Property Consultants » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:48 pm

Totally agree with the last two posters above for the same reasons.

I have two girls, 10 and 12. My eldest 'needs' a phone as she travels to secondary by train and I have no issue with that.  My youngest goes to a local primary and asked for one this year and we did get her one, although to be honest not that many of her friends have one (contrary to what she assured us!!!).  In fairness I don't regret buying either of them, if for no other reason that I know where they are, however there is no way on earth that either of them were getting a new model.  They both have the old iPhone SE which I got from CEX on St John's Road for around £100.  They give a two year guarantee and if it gets lost then I'm not that worried.

I hope that helps.

Jonny
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Claphamcate
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby Claphamcate » Mon Dec 14, 2020 8:20 am

The new iPhone costs around £1200 so even if you get it in a contract so that that price is “hidden” from you it is still the same. So in a sense it’s the equivalent of giving a ten year old something with the same value as a second hand car to carry around in their pocket. Seems like a very high risk on lots of levels and not appropriate to me but obviously depends whether that’s the normal level of gifting you would do!
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AbbevilleMummy
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby AbbevilleMummy » Mon Dec 14, 2020 8:58 am

You wouldn’t let your 10 year old walk around with a £1000+ diamond ring or earrings on for fear of getting lost or stolen so I don’t see how that’s different to an expensive phone.

No 10 year old I know has an expensive iPhone, they all have their parents old ones or I got my daughter a refurbished old model.
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KatherineHepburn
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby KatherineHepburn » Mon Dec 14, 2020 9:55 am

Goodness, they are sooo expensive.
We got our oldest a Nokia 3310!! So she can call or text when out and about or heading to and from school. 

I can highly recommend the Netflix documentary - The Social Dilemma, if you're not sure though. 
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2021hope
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby 2021hope » Mon Dec 14, 2020 10:18 am

Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even dream of giving my ten year old a phone let alone the most expensive one which I even do not have. If you start at this age then the child will buy into this consumer culture of wanting new things. Things are made to last. I keep a phone until it is literally on its last legs (I am on my second one over nearly 10 years). There is no need to buy into this consumer market. (I really should ditch the iPhone to be honest). I would also recommend the Social Dilemma.
We have held out about getting Fornite to our soon 10 year old son and now he doesn’t actually want it. Also we laugh about how other children get into trouble over Tik Tok.
If and when he requires a mobile phone perhaps for secondary school, it will be a basic, cheap one that we don’t mind if it gets lost or damaged.
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janee
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby janee » Mon Dec 14, 2020 10:55 am

Schools at Christmas need consideration, particularly in primary.  Definitely you should not get this.  What is more, you need to work out why your son want one.  Is he being bullied at school or does he want to show off at school?  It is possible that there is someone at school who has been boasting about getting one for Christmas and laughing at others.

Forgive the story but.....  About 40 years ago I was coming to the end of my teaching practice in a primary school which had children from very poor to very comfortable families.  One poor girl used all her money to buy a very small bar of chocolate to thank me.  Just as she had given it to me, 2 girls from very comfortable families bounced in to give me a very large bar of the same chocolate (bought by parents).  The poor girl's face was dreadful to see - she was so upset.  I had to take her to one side and (despite all my own rules) hugged her and told her that her present meant so much more to me.  
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EmmaVictoria
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby EmmaVictoria » Mon Dec 14, 2020 12:06 pm

Absolutely 1000% too much for a 10 year-old and I would argue a ridiculous price for anyone if I'm honest. I am not a fan of the Apple bandwagon, they pull you in and after a year the updates go in and the battery suddenly dies and you have to upgrade because they just stop working. You need all of their special cables and accessories, eurgh. I have also watched the Social Dilemma too and it blew my mind!

From a parental perspective we will probably getting my 9 year-old a phone this year but we have explained it will be a dumb phone which can call and text only so he can contact us when out at the park with his chums.

I have spoken to him in detail about Tik Tok and Social Media in general (after watching social dilemma) and how miserable it can make people and how manipulative it all is. And he seems to understand. Even if he didn't he'd have to because I genuinely think it is one of the most harms we can expose our kids, let alone making him a massive target for thieves!

 
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MrsSanta
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby MrsSanta » Tue Dec 15, 2020 10:56 am

Right, so no latest iphone for Xmas for my son! Decision made with all of your collective help. Thank you all so much for sharing.
I think we will steer away from Apple altogether and go for another brand that doesn't have so much status attahed. Will be the Social Dilemma too :-)
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AbbevilleMummy
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby AbbevilleMummy » Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:34 pm

The only plus I would say regarding an iPhone over any other brands is that if you have an iPhone you can create a child’s account linked to your account which means they can’t download any apps etc without your phone notifying you and asking permission. There are other controls too.

I imagine the other phone brands do similar so I would probably get whatever brand phone you have and linking them.
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Proudmoore
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby Proudmoore » Wed Dec 16, 2020 8:09 am

KylieHodges wrote:
Tue Dec 15, 2020 12:40 pm
why are you putting your child under stress? Now is a completely different time and children develop much faster than we do.

What kind of stress do you imply? So far I can see a caring Mum who is asking all the right questions, considering the decision and looking at it from every angle and carefully considering options. If you refer to child's " but muuuum all my friends have it", then it is no stress at all and it is oh so wrong! Comparing yourself to others based on the stuff you own is wrong. But I can clearly see that MrsSanta knows it already, and makes correct and well-thought choices. 
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Jonny Dyson Property Consultants
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby Jonny Dyson Property Consultants » Wed Dec 16, 2020 10:42 am

AbbevilleMummy wrote:
Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:34 pm
The only plus I would say regarding an iPhone over any other brands is that if you have an iPhone you can create a child’s account linked to your account which means they can’t download any apps etc without your phone notifying you and asking permission. There are other controls too.

I imagine the other phone brands do similar so I would probably get whatever brand phone you have and linking them.

This is a really good point.  Mrs Santa, if you do go for an (older!!) iphone, assuming you already have one yourself, there are a few things you should do:

Set up family sharing.  This effectively gives your son his own Apple ID, but it is linked to the parent account and he has to 'ask' permission from the parent before he can download any apps etc.  Once he clicks on 'buy' in app store you then get a message to ask permission.

Make sure that you enable 'find my iphone' so that you can track where he is (or at least where his phone is).  I find this particularly useful to give me peace of mind when my kids are going to and from from school on their own.

There is a little known 'restrictions' password that you should also set.  If something happens and the phone is stolen, or worst of all he is forced to open the phone to other kids so that they can take it, they can only do a limited number of things without the restrictions code.  If someone steals a an unlocked phone the first thing they will do is disable find my iphone.  The restrictions lock would prevent them from doing this. Obviously don't give this code to your son.

Lastly, there are a number of apps that allow parents visibility of their child's devices.  A friend of mine has a son who was using his phone to browse the internet (nothing dodgy) when they had gone to bed.  She had an app setup so that it notified her of this.  There is also an app called Gallery Guardian which is an app which immediately notifies the parents if a suspicious image has been detected on their child's device.

I realise that some of this may seem over the top, however none of it is particularly invasive, and my kids are both fully aware of what is setup on their phones, which hopefully means that they also understand some of the responsibility of owning a phone.  It's not a toy.

Jonny
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Starr
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Re: Is a new iphone too much for a 10 year old for Xmas?

Postby Starr » Wed Dec 16, 2020 11:06 am

We've done just as Jonny has stated recently with our 10 year old daughter who was pestering us for a phone and got all the above well stated advice from parents in her year group.
We bought an old iphone7 for £100.

She does need it because she is partially travelling to school by herself and while we didnt get mobile phones until we were at university, smart phones, apps and social media are a fact of life for this generation.

I would rather the children learned how to navigate this world safely and with parental supervision. For that reason I think age 10 is not a bad idea.
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