is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

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HenryHoover
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is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby HenryHoover » Fri Apr 30, 2021 12:15 pm

My eldest teenager, fifteen, has asked if he can have a couple of beers to take out when he meets up with friends. He insists that all of his friends are allowed to do this. I think that this seems incredibly young. I would be happy fo him to have the occasional beer with us as a family but having alcohol with friends at fifteen seems like the start of something that could go very wrong. Am I totally out of date? Do fifteen year olds drink nowadays?
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TFP
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby TFP » Tue May 04, 2021 9:37 am

not sure really. you say "a beer" but then "a couple of beers", potentially not the same thing.

also you say 15 year old but not whether he's year 10 or year 11, that's relevant information i think.

i suppose i think that year 10 is an ok time to introduce very small/trace amounts, 'one drink' kind of thing, with year 11 an ok time for 'a couple of drinks'.

overall i'd say that that mid teenage kids these days on average tend to drink a little less than their parents' generation did, but only on average.

but i mean it really depends. in terms of quantities i'd be more careful with say a 5' girl than a 6'5" boy.
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dudette
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby dudette » Tue May 04, 2021 9:56 am

I agree with TFP. It depends if he’s in year 10 or year 11. Year 10 does seem a bit young. My son is in year 10 and I wouldn’t give him a couple of beers. We’ve occasionally given him one to have with a meal for a birthday but it was only one. Year 11 I think is a bit different and is the time when they do all seem to start drinking. But if you could hold off until after the summer exams then I think that would be sensible.
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MagnoliaMum
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby MagnoliaMum » Tue May 04, 2021 10:18 am

Some teenagers start drinking earlier, some later. It must be so dull for teenagers stuck in lockdown, so I'm not surprised they might want to add interest to their walks/outdoor meet-ups. My starting point though would be to contact the parents of some of his friends to find out how they feel about it - it's always worth investigating the claim "everyone else is allowed..."! Then you can all be consistent in your approach, whether that is banning or allowing in moderation.

When my elder son at a similar age wanted to throw a small party at our house (pre-covid), we had a frank discussion about alcohol and I came to the conclusion that I would prefer him and his friends to drink beers I'd provided (smallest bottle possible and lowest alcohol) rather than get fake ID and try to buy it themselves from an off-licence, which they seem to manage incredibly easily and were clearly determined to do. And for him to feel he could be honest with me about drinking, so we could keep talking about it and I could keep an eye on how much and what he was drinking. He's now at university and he has turned out very sensible around alcohol, which is a relief. He has said how much he appreciated me listening to him and being willing to compromise at times.

I think it is a good sign that your son feels able to ask you this, so I hope you can find a good solution.

 
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momofthree
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby momofthree » Tue May 04, 2021 10:58 am

NO. I don't see how giving alcohol to your children can be justified, especially outside the home. By enabling them so young you are basically encouraging and normalising alcohol consumption. Obviously I don't know your family's take or habit with alcohol but this doesn't seem right. It seems you have an open dialogue but exploring alcohol with parent consent but outside the home just doesn't sit well with me personally.
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NoodleFan
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby NoodleFan » Tue May 04, 2021 3:02 pm

I feel an outright NO will make alcohol seem even more attractive.
Good idea to speak to his friends’ parents. Some in moderation at that age (with dinner at home etc) will hopefully stop them going mad with it at the first opportunity.
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muddyboots
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby muddyboots » Wed May 05, 2021 12:49 pm

NO!!
Research now shows that alcohol SERIOUSLY IMPACTS on brain development and young brains are more susceptible to addictive behaviour.
Regardless of what other people allow to wor kids and I imagine all of them say the same to their parents to put pressure.
Some say kids will do it anyway, but I disagree and think parents should not be there handing it out.
Wrong message.

Kids don’t smoke as much as they once didn’t , I wish alcohol would become equally uncool .....
Last edited by muddyboots on Wed May 05, 2021 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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muddyboots
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby muddyboots » Wed May 05, 2021 12:51 pm

NO!!
Research now shows that alcohol SERIOUSLY IMPACTS on brain development and young brains are more susceptible to addictive behaviour. Teenagers should not drink.
Regardless of what other people allow their kids to do and I imagine all of them say the same to their parents to put pressure.
Some say kids will do it anyway, but I disagree and think parents should not be there handing it out.
Wrong message.

Kids don’t smoke as much as they once didn’t , I wish alcohol would become equally uncool .....
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HenryHoover
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Re: is it ok for me to give a 15 year old a beer to have with friends?

Postby HenryHoover » Wed May 05, 2021 2:36 pm

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. Thanks for your candid views and I have taken them all on board.
I have contacted parents of his friends today to see what their views are on the subject. I am glad that we are having the conversation as I think driving underground could have dire consequences but I think that I would really like to put off giving beer if possible at least until next year, year 11. That sems like a better watershed moment. Thanks again for replying, much appreciated x
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