Preteen sleep anxiety help Post Reply

[twice_as_nice]

My 12 year old girl is experiencing problems with sleeping. She has had problems settling ar night for quite a while and would still be awake when my husband and i go to bed. More recently she really won’t settle at night and has started getting very anxious and upset at bedtime and wants to sleep next to me or comes into me in the middle of the night.

She sleeps much better if next to me but obviously this isn’t a sustainable solution.

I’ve asked her what’s wrong and it seems to be typical teen anxieties - friendships etc

I’ve tried getting her to listen to calming music or meditation which she used to be open to but she now says it doesn’t work.

Suggestions gratefully received! I think it could be good for her to talk to someone. We aren’t in London at the moment so any recommendations for online therapists would be great..

[Lauraz]

Hi, I would call your GP as they can help with regards to counselling. I suffered from anxiety and sleep issues which got worse after the birth of my son. I called my GP who was wonderful and referred me to local mental health services. Turned out I had OCD and I received 12 weeks of therapy on the NHS which was fantastic. Not saying your daughter has anything like this but it is good to check and NHS therapists are free and can be very specialised. Best of luck, I feel for your daughter, sleep anxiety is horrible!

[Teenagermum]

Hi, my daughter had similar problems and we found the book Overcoming Your Child’s Fears and Worries by Cathy Creswell and Lucy Willetts which deals with sleep problems. I feel your pain!

[Needcoffeenow]

I think this problem is more common than most parents let on. Who wants to admit a child of this age is anxious and wants to share your bed? In our family both my brothers’ children and my brother-in-law’s youngest went through this phase and two out of our three had ‘night terrors’ around 11/12 years. In each case it ended naturally when they got to puberty, when a lot of behaviour changes.

So yes, it’s right to take it seriously but you may well find that just by comforting and talking to them and letting them sleep with you if they are distressed, the issue will go away of its own accord.

[tertia designs]

my daughter began exhibiting anxiety at school pick up time when she was eleven years old, which progressed into her trying to sneak into my bed in the middle of the night - every night. after trying to work through this with her teachers, i decided to take her to my gp. she was immediately assessed for ocd, and started seeing a child therapist soon after. i really don't want to frighten you, but my daughter's anxiety was severe enough that she did not sleep alone anywhere until she was 23 years old.

this was a long time ago - she is now 33, a doctor, married and pregnant with her first child. but she struggled with the ocd for a long time. the therapy now is much more advanced, and much more research has been done on the condition. i wish i knew more about it when she was young - i probably would have gotten her some help earlier. taking your daughter to your gp can't hurt - she may not have ocd - but if she does, getting her help as soon as possible is essential. my heart goes out to you, this is a difficult time. but in the long run, the therapy will help your daughter find her strengths. t