Friend gone mad at me over new man

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sunnysideup
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Friend gone mad at me over new man

Postby sunnysideup » Thu Aug 19, 2021 1:26 pm

I've used this site for a long time (under a different name) and hoping for some advice.

I am long time divorced and over the last few years have buddied up with another friend in a similar situation. It has been a blessing, especially at those times of the year when others are enjoying family time.

I met someone a few months ago and have just started to spend some of the time with time that I would have spent with her, with him.

He has just suggested that me and my two children might like to join him in Devon over half term. I told my friend that I would like to do this and she has done a Faye from Love Island and gone mad. I would like to give this relationship a chance, am I being unreasonable? And if I am not, how do I manage the situation?
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teaandcake
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Re: Friend gone mad at me over new man

Postby teaandcake » Thu Aug 19, 2021 5:42 pm

I feel for you as I experienced something similar but pre marriage.

I think that you are well within your rights to give your relationship a go. My advice would be to make sure that you have some things planned with your friend so that she knows she has something to look forward to with you. Maybe try to invite her along to the occasional thing with your new man too? She is probably just feeling scared and a bit down about the fact that she hasn't met someone just yet. Good luck.
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supergirl1978
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Re: Friend gone mad at me over new man

Postby supergirl1978 » Mon Aug 23, 2021 7:05 am

I can understand why it would be upsetting for your friend (difficult at times to be the single one in your group of friends )but she should also be happy for you and understand you want to spend time with your boyfriend. You’re far from being unreasonable, you are allowed to think of you and deserve all the happiness.
I would just tell her that you really care about her but really want to spend time with him. Doesn’t mean you won’t spend any time with her… and it will maybe be good for her also, she can’t always expect friends to do everything with her.
All the best.
X
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NoodleFan
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Re: Friend gone mad at me over new man

Postby NoodleFan » Mon Aug 23, 2021 7:55 am

Would you be cancelling plans with her to go to Devon? If not, then she has to accept it - not easy as I bet she’s scared but that’s life unfortunately. Try and get something in the diary with her though.
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Londontownlady
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Re: Friend gone mad at me over new man

Postby Londontownlady » Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:15 am

I had this happen to me a long time pre-marriage. I did end up introducing the two, that didn’t work out at all- she really didn’t like him. I later on started to see someone else and the same thing happened. This made me realise that she didn’t have my best interest at heart. All I say, by all means listen to your friend’s need and make sure you look after her - nobody likes to be friend dumped all of a sudden. At the same time, she needs to understand there is an opportunity for long term happiness for you and should support you through it. Good luck!
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