I sympathise, having been in your situation years ago. The trauma from trying to fix my son´s behaviour is still with me. I attempted to hide it for ages from the rest of the mums from embarrassment, whilst other mums were calling me directly to complain as was the school - constantly. I cannot recommend this advice I am going to give you enough. 1) Speak to Elaine at the Parent Practice (she has already contacted you). I wish I had known about the The PP at the time. I have read Elaine´s book and follow her work. I am not connected to her practice but I understand precisely what it does and I wish I´d contacted her. You will need professional help from someone like Elaine who can help you re-channel a child´s behaviour as well as lead you to understand what the root cause of his challenges are. As she has already stated, he is having a problem as opposed to being a problem. 2) This is a huge issue for you and keeping it to yourself will eat away at you over time. An email to the class is a great idea and I think that can work after a particularly challenging incident & generate very useful discussion but I would actually phone every single mum in the class first to tell them that you´re aware your child is having challenges and that you´re taking concrete steps to help him overcome his difficulties. They will be bowled over by the trouble you have taken to be honest on an individual basis and some will actually tell you they had no idea and others will tell you their own stories. They will all respect you for being honest. Do not give away too much information on facts at this point. As little info as possible is best because you need those parents as allies, their children will be helping you in the journey your own child has to make to model his behaviour on theirs and for that you will need 1:1 playdates to build up rapport so outlining horror stories will not help. The support I got from my individual phone calls meant a lot to me. And it took the wind out of the sails of the gossiping complaining ones because I had made the issue public. 3) Please feel free to PM me for any advice whatsoever or to simply offload. I have a library of books and a wealth of information and experience and an empathetic ear, I would hate for another mother to feel in the dark as I did. Again, for professional advice I cannot stress enough: please phone Elaine. 4) Adopting the following mindset has helped me enormously over the years: Try to separate your son´s behaviour from you as a person in your own right. He is him and You are you. You are going to help him but that doesn´t mean you need to absorb and assimilate every aspect of his behaviour as if it were you stuffing it up. Allow yourself to continue to be the person you were before you had children so that your son´s behaviour doesn´t erode away who you really are. I spent many years in fear for what each school day might bring, apologising for my son´s mistakes, absorbing his challenges and blaming myself. Keep us posted.