Pre teen independence!

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wandsworthmummy12
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Pre teen independence!

Postby wandsworthmummy12 » Fri Jun 03, 2022 4:30 pm

Out of interest how far do parents let their pre teens (12yrs old) travel alone with their friends? I’m trying to sense check whether I’m being an overly anxious parent that says no. I’m constantly told so and so mum let’s her go here or there! How far is too far, how are you supposed to know? He is street aware and travels around the local area with friends but is now wanting to venture out further!
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dudette
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Re: Pre teen independence!

Postby dudette » Mon Jun 13, 2022 8:54 am

My kids were allowed to go to Westfield in White City with their mates when they were 12 and I remember groups of boys that age going to Camden market. My daughter took a flight with two friends the same age when she was 13 (it was still allowed then - they were picked up by an adult at the other end). In three/four years time your child will probably be asking to go to the Reading festival (it’s what they all do post GCSEs). As long as he’s going with sensible friends (and has a phone so you can keep in touch) then I think you should let him go. Don’t be that overly protective patent that doesn’t allow their child to do anything - they need to learn some independence and going to a shopping centre during the day is a great way to start.
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Londonista
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Re: Pre teen independence!

Postby Londonista » Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:52 am

I have found it very much depends on the child, my first son I’ve only just started letting him now and he’s in year 9, but my younger son who’s in year 6, I think I could probably let him next year. He’s much more alert to his surroundings than his brother. My older one is also a phone zombie so it’s taken a while to get him out of that habit of walking around with his head in his phone.

They are both fairly innocent though, and of course even though they know where they’re going, it’s other people I’m worried about it. I try and run through various scenarios and where they can get help, if they cannot call.
Obviously always worth a reminder that groups of younger teen boys seem to be a target for older boys and they may be relieved of their phones or bikes etc. I’ve instructed my son to stay always with friends, and that nothing he owns is worth a punch in the face, so just to give it up, and we’ll claim on insurance! My older son is desperate for an Apple Watch but we’ve said no just purely because it would make him a target.

After dark though I never let him go anywhere without me and don’t plan on letting him make his own way home at night for several years.
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Londonista
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Re: Pre teen independence!

Postby Londonista » Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:55 am

By the way, just FYI there seems regularly to be trouble at Southside. My older son does go occasionally with friends but I don’t let him just hang out there, they go for a movie or Wagamama and then bus straight back.
Wimbledon town centre is a much more straightforward trip if you’re near an overland train station eg Balham or CJ.
Last edited by Londonista on Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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readysteadycook
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Re: Pre teen independence!

Postby readysteadycook » Mon Jun 13, 2022 2:08 pm

Londonista wrote:
Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:55 am
By the way, just FYI there seems regularly to be trouble at Southside. My older son does go occasionally with friends but I don’t let him just hang out there, they go for a movie or Wagamama and then bus straight back.
Wimbledon town centre is a much more straightforward trip if you’re near an overland train station eg Balham or CJ.
I was in Five Guys, Southside at 530 pm on Friday and a big group of youths (many IC3) outside the restaurant - one even cycling on a Santander bike, one stealing drinks from the Five Guys soda machine - the manger was doing his best to keep them out. Not pleasant at all. Security were there in force... Strongly recommend our children avoiding Southside 
 
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