I would like your thoughts on this one so please forgive me for a probably (very) long post. It is very important for me to know whether I am being unfair in my expectations.
I would much love views from couples/families where 1 parent whose main job/role (however you defines yourself) is to look after the house, primary school aged children, family and logistics and 1 parent whose main job is to earn the money. I have simplified on purpose.
Firstly, I do not like the term SAHP as personally I very much see it as my main job and my husband agrees with me. So as any job i thrive to do it to the best of my abilities. I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself (which is not a good idea I know).
My husband's main job is to earn what we need to live here and because of who he is, where he was in his career when we had our first child and the hours he puts in, he needs a job that he likes too. He has a very big job, travels once a week and when in London he leaves the house at 7.15 am and is back around 9pm at the earliest. This past month I haven't seen him much during the week as by the time he was home (10/11pm) I was ready to sleep.
It feels like we are flying on 2 very different pathways and it is getting very frustrating.
And secondly, I want to say that he is a great man, he shares, he listens, talk (sometimes when not tired ah ah) and really puts his family first.
My question is: if your spouse is the same (long hours, travelling, etc). how do you divide your family time at the week end between his rest and your rest? What do you expect of her/him? Do you share the decision making or do you delegate it to the one who has more flexible time? What do you spend on to help you as the SAHP and as the WOHP?
- House maintenance (renovations, general maintenance);
- Family time;
- Couple time;
- House chores;
- Paperworks, admin, etc;
- Expectations of both sides
- And what "selfish" spend do you have on yourself if you are "at home"
I totally appreciate that this a private matter but I would be very grateful if you would share the general outline of the way your family functions. I really need some new creative ways of doing it otherwise I think I will explose
Many thanks. Supergirl