Back to Top
Post Reply

To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

9 posts
MrsAliwal
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:11 am
Share this post on:

To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby MrsAliwal » Thu Apr 12, 2018 6:33 pm

Hi,

I'm pregnant (second trimester), and my good friend has just named her baby what we were going to call our baby. I never told her our baby name but we are very attached to it. She now lives in Sydney, so we are not geographically close, but she will be over a lot with her English husband and she's coming over in July to stay with us.

We are the first 2 in our friendship group to be having kids and I have a feeling she would not be 100% happy if we chose the same name.

So, what are your feelings on naming etiquette? I'm thinking it might be best to use a different name... : )
sw1234
Posts: 42
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:21 pm
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby sw1234 » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:40 pm

We had that exact scenario when one of our friends called her baby who was born 2 days before our chosen name. We decided to opt for a different name, and are now pleased with our decision however don’t feel that you have to do this. If you love the name, speak to your friend and tell her this was also your chosen name (I’m sure she will understand) and then go for it!!
SW12Pops
Posts: 96
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 10:44 am
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby SW12Pops » Thu Apr 12, 2018 8:34 pm

This happened to us too!

My wife INSISTED that we couldn't go for the same so we chose a different name.

We now couldn't imagine calling our child by the 'original' name although at the time it seemed like a big deal.

I think it's one of those things that is a big deal at the time but years later seems, dare I say it, unimportant.

I don't mean that disrespectfully, just that it would be odd to call ours by anything else now...
RumourMill
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:11 pm
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby RumourMill » Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:09 pm

Agree - I can imagine it feels like a big deal at the time but with the passage of time less so
london_maman
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:20 pm
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby london_maman » Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:54 pm

My best friend from school just called her daughter like mine, she asked me before and I was genuinely happy! I told her that if someone told us when we were teenagers that we’d have daughters with the same name one day we would have loved the idea! Your friend lives in Sydney, she won’t spend most of her time here surely so go for it! Just tell her that it happened to be the name you chose, she might love the idea!
IrenaP
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon May 23, 2016 9:21 pm
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby IrenaP » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:18 pm

If you really love your chosen first name but don’t want to annoy your friend, could you use at your child’s middle name? Then it would be easy to revert to it if the ‘new’ first name doesn’t stick. I have friends who go by their middle names. Perhaps this why ;-)
supermummy
Posts: 262
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:14 pm
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby supermummy » Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:26 am

We named our child same as husband’s best man who at the time lived in Sydney. The children are 4 years apart and never going to be in the same school/ group etc. I thought it was a big deal and insisted he ask his friend. The third make frequent in their group had also used the same name for a child in between our two. They all thought it was a total non issue! Perhaps made easier as it was a very popular traditional name so not as if someone was trying to be different. I really do think you should go with whatever you really like. It’s for life and even if you hang out as a family in the early years, your child will grow up and move on and be with lots of other people on their life! I really don’t think anyone owns a name...
dudette
Posts: 440
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:11 am
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby dudette » Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:37 am

I really think you should choose whichever name you want. Having said that our closest friends (who don’t live in this country) called their son the same name as ours which I did find a bit annoying! More than that our son is called by them by a nickname which we don’t use any more while their son is called by his proper name. Fortunately he doesn’t seem to mind too much although it’s quite a babyish name so he might do when he’s older. It still gets confusing as we call them both the same name - we just end up using their surnames too. So I kind of wish they hadn’t done it but we still love them (and it’s a pretty common name - it’s not like they were copying us)
Ferrywind
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 8:07 am
Share this post on:

Re: To Use or Not to Use the Same Names as Friends

Postby Ferrywind » Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:59 am

From being on the other end of this - I’d say use it, but maybe mention it first!
Our good friends (who we see a lot) named their DD same as ours. Was a bit surprised when sent out birth announcement that she hadn’t mentioned it beforehand but of course understood was always their choice for a name and no reason not to use it. You’ll find that you don’t even think of their “insert name” when you have your “insert name” and won’t be an issue. But so is not a surprise I’d have a chat with them pre birth/ name announcement :)