Xx Post Reply

[Opensez]

Xxxxx

[szerma]

So sorry you have bern going through this, and I don’t know if there is any legal advice someone could give.

I would say this all depends on the culture of the company and what relationship you have with your boss. If you feel you can trust them and are supportive, I would disclose this in confidence and ask for their support and understanding.

If you don’t or don’t know, maybe just mention generally that you have had a tough time and ask for their understanding and support as you transition back to working. In my experience, people expect that anyway when you return. Is there any chance to stagger your return, e.g. do 3 days a week for a month, say? This is as much to lessen the pressure on you as to signal to your company that it is not “business as usual” from Day 1.

Best of luck,
M

[Pc1008]

Hi . I am so sorry and it’s a really tough call . I would agree culture of workplace and who you work for is really important . I would suggest you negotiate a staggered return if you can with a 3 day week and be quite firm on the hours you do . Wellness is a much bigger theme in some organisations so I would ask how much support you think you would get .

Also if I may say so - do you think you are ready to go back to work ?

If you would like to meet for a coffee and chat really happy to help as I have done a lot of transition coaching in my current role . And have 2 little ones so been there and done it !

P x

[GreatScott]

Really sorry to hear you are suffering from PND. I battled with it for months and months and didn't tell a soul. I think the previous posters are right; that it depends on your work colleagues and your boss and the nature of your work, but I found that returning to work actually helped me to get better. Having things to occupy me that didn't involve small people and nappies and cleaning up vomit meant I could actually begin to view things with perspective and become part of the 'normal' world again, if only for a few hours a week. Going to the loo without having to make provision for the safety of a crawling baby (or taking it with me) was one of the first precious things I did - ON MY OWN! I felt like a grown-up again. It actually sometimes felt like I went back to work for a rest! (And I'm still here, 23 years and two, now grown-up, babies later) So, in answer to your question, I wouldn't say anything up front but wait until you've been back a few days/weeks and see how you feel. Other mothers at work are generally very supportive, and hearing their stories can also help you heal - you're not alone, even though you probably feel as though you are. You really aren't. Laughing over the printer about shared stories of projectile vomiting and Weetabix smeared all over the cat is the perfect antidote. It meant I actually enjoyed returning home in the evening - which was the last place on earth I wanted to be when I was depressed. And babies change all the time - no 'phase' stays the same for long, which you sometimes forget when you have PND - it all seems so relentless and as if it will go on, unchanged, forever. So good luck with the return to work - don't feel guilty (if you do), use it (work) to help you find your proper place in the world again and welcome the new 'normal'. I too am willing to chat, if you want to. I know how isolating PND feels. It's important to know you are not alone, and that you will get better. Because you aren't, and you will!

[Bevvers]

I agree it depends somewhat on your work relationships. I didn’t want people to know at first but then realised that my manager knowing provided me with some support. She was very understanding and sympathetic and I was glad I told her, but when I felt I could. Perhaps leave your decision until you are in work and it may be clearer to you what feels best. Remember telling your manager can be simply that....not everyone needs to know. Good luck and from my experience things DO get better.