Maternity nurse advice please! Post Reply

[VickySW18]

I’m expecting my first baby in November and would love to hear experiences of parents who’ve had maternity nurses, mainly how they found them and how it worked with them. I don’t know anyone who has had one but currently thinking of help for the first 4-6 weeks, live-in, Mon-Fri, help with baby but also some housekeeping (washing, cooking mainly). There seem to be many companies out there and many different type of roles so keen to know what worked for you!

Thanks!

[Mum2016]

My second is due in December so I’m also interested to see what people have to say since I too am looking for a maternity nurse/live in Nanny option and advice.

I had a live out maternity nurse for my first which wasnt the success I had hoped it would be but I think that was coloured by the fact that the whole first time Mum thing for me was quite overwhelming and not what I had expected. Please PM me VickySW18 if you’d like to chat in more detail.

First time round, I went with a family recommendation for a maternity nurse - she had an outstanding cv - ex paediatric ITU nurse from a top london hospital with plenty private sector maternity nursing employment also. She was flexible with her hours so she could do overnights or days etc - just charged an hourly rate (£20) This was her preference as she could mix up either nights or days through the week flexibly.

I went for the same option and had planned to keep the maternity nurse for 6 weeks but after about 3 weeks we terminated the arrangement as it wasn’t working out - she wasn’t as reliable (canceling shifts last minute) and not as flexible with her hours as promised and I felt she was also playing on my vulnerabilities as a new Mum often telling me that I wasn’t feeding correctly - she wanted me to feed my newborn to a routine and hold back in the evenings when my little one wanted to cluster feed. She was against feeding on demand as she felt it didn’t give the baby routine and ‘how else would I get things done if I fed on demand!?’ She was very complimentary too however there was always a ‘but..’ She used to do a spot of babysitting here and there as she was familiar with the little one- she charged the same hourly rate.

A friend of mine had a live in maternity nurse for the first 5 months and she charged 180 per day, with her second baby she had the same Maternity nurse for around 3 months but she also had a live in Nanny for her toddler in the house at the same time. She also had issues with her maternity nurse but chose to put up with them as on balance the help she provided outweighed the problems.

I am thinking of going through an agency second time round and am unsure whether to go for a live in maternity nurse, doula or just start with a live in Nanny/housekeeper)

Any other advice/experience welcome.

[samantha.reilly]

I am a postnatal doula and would be delighted to talk to you about what doulas do and how I could possibly help you.  The role of the doula is to mother the mother not to tell you what to do!

I hope to hear from you

Samantha

[Jessicaed]

We had a maternity nurse highly recommended by friends booked to live in for 2 weeks after the birth of our first baby. In the end, because I was overdue, she did 5 days FT and then 2 days/week for the next 6 weeks which actually, worked out brilliantly for us.

Due to the 24/7 nature of the job, whilst with us she became part of our family unit, we were delighted to see her when she arrived but also pleased to regain our space when she left, happy to know she’d be returning in a few days!

She helped and supported me with breastfeeding and looking after our baby but was very clear from before being booked that she did not undertake domestic tasks. Her help with the baby freed me up enough to keep things ticking over, so it was an arrangement that worked.

Similarly to another responder to this post, she put us on a 3 hourly routine - contrary to ‘feed on demand’ advice. I can see that this type of routine is much easier for a mat nurse to work with and I have reflected on the +/- to this approach. For us it worked; I continue to breastfeed our baby who is well fed - and in those early new born days where survive is the best you can do, the routine really helped me with adjusting to life as a new mother and gave me some control but it’s not what is commonly advised by midwives.

As in all things, I’d strongly advise discussing what YOU want in advance when trying to find the right person. A post-natal doula can offer similar support so potentially worth exploring too. Finding someone you like, have an understanding with and feel like you can collaborate with is crucial - it’s such an intimate role where ultimately, their kindness is key.

Private message me if you have more questions or would like more details.

[BobtailsBoutique]

Hello,
I am a former maternity nurse, I am happy to chat with you about your expectations, most maternity nurses are just their for you and the baby, duties do include doing the babies laundry but not the household laundry, some maternity nurses are happy to cook for the whole family most don't do cooking at all.
I would suggest the 24x5 to begin with maybe cutting down in the last few weeks.
Look carefully at the contracts generally once a maternity nurse has started you will have to pay them the whole booking fee if you decide to cancel. After all it is very hard to find a short notice job to fill the gap.
Use an agency rather than booking direct it gives you some back up.
As a first time Mum pick someone with experience rather than a new maternity nurse looking for experience. Second time around I recommend a newbie who you can help shape into a good maternity nurse.
Recommendations don't work that well all the time unless you met them and saw your friends maternity nurse style.
Have a maternity nurse that is flexible with regards to routine, I have had clients ask for a structured routine only to realise they hate it and want no routine at all which I didn't mind.
Tell them what you think you want now but mention this may change you never know what's going to happen.
Unless you are having a c-section start date needs to be flexible I would always say two to three weeks after due date for a first time Mum although baby may come early so again some flexibility in the contract ask what bookings they have in place already.
If you don't want to go down the agency route I am happy to put you in touch with some maternity nurses (I don't charge a group of us got together we have a Facebook group where we share jobs and started the maternity nurse conference where we got to meet up for a weekend meaning I know quite a few face to face)
I am also happy to recommend agencies to you and of course I should totally recommend my own company for baby clothes
Good luck with your search. X

[MaternityNurse]

My colleague Liz and I are highly experienced maternity nurses. We offer support and advice with flexible newborn care as well as sleep and feeding consultancy (www.babysleepretreat.com). You can book punctually or packages that cover regular vista for a few hours, days etc covering the first 4 months. Our approach is gentle and respectful of each family’s personal and parental preferences.
If you would like a chat to work out a bespoke support plan please call us on 07792692305 or email: suzy@babysleepretreat.com.
All the best!