What Does a Hairstyle Tell You?

[Pemberley]

Help! I’m in a dilemma...My son is sitting 11+ exams in January, much like so many 10/11 year olds in the country.

As part of the process he’ll be having interviews both initial ones and/or then second stage ones (fingers crossed). How do you think the interviewers will perceive his long hair? It’s below his shoulders, not untidy and he doesn’t tie it in a pony tail. My husband and I discussed it and he’s of the view, well, if they don’t like his hair then we don’t want him going there. Except we do like the school/s!

Another parent casually asked if he was getting his hair cut over the holidays and it hadn’t really occurred to me. He’s got a fair amount of holiday homework so I’m trying to ‘keep the peace’ at home and not project my stress onto him.

What do you think? Should he cut his hair or not?

The schools he’s applied to are Dulwich, Alleyn’s, etc.

Thanks

[dudette]

I would say any school that judges him on his hair length is not a school he would want to go to. Keep it as it is and at least he’ll stand out from a bunch of identikit kids.

[Flambeau]

Hi Pemberley,

It's a tricky one........

If a school is going to judge a child on their hair style then do you really want your child to attend that school? 

In an educational environment you would hope that the school, interviewer or decision maker is able to look past appearance and judge a child on the interview,  sports performance,exam result, headteachers reference etc 

There have been so many examples of schools that have been prejudice/ strict towards pupil's hairstyles, uniform etc  and those that have come to the fore as they are state schools.

The ones you list are independent, privately funded and get so many applicants that they are able to pick and choose and really there is not much in the way of recourse........ so it's a different kettle of fish.

First impressions count! and in primary schools they are much more lenient regarding these things, but most of the schools you list in your post seem quite traditional and i am guessing have strict uniform and appearance policies?

When you did school tours/visits etc did you see any children with hair the same length as your child?




 

[sjcguk]

I'm with your husband. Our son is going to have his fringe trimmed this week (whether he likes it or not) so that his eyes are actually visible but the overall length will stay. It's very important to him, and a school that is so conventional as to object clearly isn't the right place for him.  

Just checked the policy for one of his choices (Hampton) - "Boys must not wear hairstyles deemed by the School to be extreme, facial hair (unless for religious reasons) or jewellery. Hair must not be dyed an unnatural colour."  I can't imagine that longish hair is "extreme" in this day and age!  But Kings says "Hair is expected to be tidy, of natural colour and of reasonable length (above the shirt collar) – neither too long nor inappropriately short or shaven."  Hmm. I guess we will see what happens but I can imagine that he would rather go elsewhere if it genuinely is an issue. 

[mum_1980]

I think you should let your kid have long hair if he wants it. My only criteria for my sons would be that it has to be tidy at school.

So if it's really long then he has to tie it back in a band and as the last poster says, if he can't see, then trim the fringe or tie it back. If your son is willing to do that, then I don't see the problem. Frankly if a school is going to judge him by the length of his hair, then do you really want him to go there...

Funnily enough both my sons, who are a lot younger 7 and 4, said they wanted long hair. I said that was fine as long as they tied it back at school. For some reason, they objected to wearing hair bands so decided they would have it cut after all! 

Good luck - secondary school interviews are tough as it is without having to fret about appearance too. I'm sure you and your son will make the right choice for him - don't let the hair thing become an issue!

[Pemberley]

Thank you all.

We are in the ‘thick of it’ at the mo so have not broached the subject of hair; don’t want to add any extra potential stress.

The only long-haired boys I remember seeing were in the sixth form of a couple of state schools in Wandsworth.

The registrar at his own school (Wandsworth indy) has commented on a few other boys’ long hairs but never his.

Our plan is to see if he makes it to the next stage of any of these schools.

Will keep you posted.