Second baby due soon - how to cope with two? Post Reply

[Rsatterthwaite]

Hi everyone. My second baby is due soon and I have a little boy already (12 months). I'm wondering if anyone has any tips or advice for how to juggle two? I find my little boy hard work so I cannot imagine with two!! Thanks in advance for any advice x 

[delsh]

I was really worried when I had my second baby two years ago and a friend recommended this second baby prep class: http://www.thebabycarecompany.co.uk/cla ... index.html

It gave me some useful tips for managing feeding/ bathtime/ bedtime and also suggested routines and timings that were really helpful. But in the same way that the most useful thing antenatal classes give you is a group of mums to stay in touch with, the class also introduced me to other mums in the area with similar age toddlers and second babies due around the same time.

Other than that, I think you just somehow find a way to muddle through and cope with it all, just like you did the first time round, only this time at least you have all the stuff and know what to expect from a newborn! Good luck x

[addled]

"Twice the amount of gin perhaps?"

Not the best advice to a pregnant lady from NVN admin.

[uptheoctave]

Hi,

Congratulations. I hear your worries. Mine were 15 months apart and the father was barely present before, during or after. Once my 2nd was born, I introduced her to my 1st by telling my 1st I'd got her a special present and this was her sister and no one else's and over time she could have a lot of fun with her. This helped alleviate any immediate jealousy and I tried to involve my first as much as poss in the care, asking her to help cuddle her, to check on her (just to see if she was sleeping or awake sort of thing, nothing too taxing, and praising her for all her help) etc. They are now 10&12 and very close.

Yes, the first 6-12 months were tough. There's no escaping that and do whatever you can to get through it. It helped me to have a close network of friends and other new mums but you are still the one that has the sleepless nights and worries that you may not be doing enough. 

As long as you keep your children warm, fed and loved in their early years, they will learn to tell you what they want (generally) in their later years. 

Good luck and please know that once the first year is out the way, they will play together and make each other laugh like no one else can. They entertain each other and it takes a lot of the onus off you to be the sole entertainer. But yes, the first year can be tough but not constantly and you will find out how to snatch moments of peace and sanity, but also please reach out to health professionals if you find you are really not coping as they can signpost you to all sorts of support networks. 

All the best. 

[Bevvers]

I bet it won’t be as hard as you think. I was “warned “ that it would be difficult, but for me nothing was as challenging as going from no children to one. Going from one to two was much easier.
Keep in touch with other mums, accept help when offered and accept that initially you won’t be able to do as much with two as you did with one. Enjoy

[muddyboots]

Your worry is natural, but you will be fine!
Put simply, you have no choice so you will just find a way to make it work.

Imagine first time mums wondering how on earth they will give birth… equally many wonder how it go to two or three.
The world is full of strong mums who’s done it and survived.

Your firstborn is still small, so it will be hard in the beginning.

What will most probably happen is that you will initially mainly take care on the newborn and you DH will be with the eldest.
Divide and conquer is quite a good strategy.

You will find a way that works for you all and you will soon forget what it was even like to only have one child.

Good luck