Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

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Evabee
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Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby Evabee » Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:00 pm

I have just got off the phone to the nursery that my 14 month old is due to start at 3 days per week from sept. One of the reasons that I chose this particular nursery was because I really liked the manager of the baby room and the second reason was that I really liked the way they offered 8 settling in sessions in the run up to the start date over a month period. My little one is VERY clingy, always has been, won't go to anyone bar me and her dad so I felt this slow approach would suit her well. I have now been told by them that they no longer offer this, instead, she can have only four two hour sessions in the two weeks prior to her start on a mon and fri only. Oh, and the manager I really liked is also leaving. Since paying my deposit in April I haven't heard anything from them at all and it is only now when I have chased them to book in the sessions that they have told me this. Feeling pretty upset, am I being unreasonable? Would really appreciate feedback from anyone re settling in periods with their nurseries and or opinions on this. I won't name the nursery but it a very popular one with a long waiting list.
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Polster21
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Re: Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby Polster21 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 8:32 pm

Hi,

I totally sympathise. My little one, now 3.5, started nursery at 12 months. She was an extremely clingy child, would pretty much cry if I went to the loo, let alone left her at a nursery! Her nursery at the time did 4 settling sessions of an hour each where I stayed with her, then cold turkey there after. I'm not going to lie and say the first few weeks at nursery were a walk in the park, but she got there in the end and after about 3 weeks, all of a sudden, loved going to nursery and hasn't looked back. If I'm honest, I think prolonging the agony doesn't necessarily make it any better. My daughter is still not great at being left in new environments, and is changing nurseries soon, where I'll hope for the shortest settling in possible as I think the more I hang about, the worse it is! Good luck! You'll look back on it in a few months and think how far you've come!
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Evabee
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Re: Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby Evabee » Mon Jul 18, 2016 9:44 pm

Thankyou so much for taking the time to respond to my post! I think you may be right re prolonging the pain! I have been through this twice before with my other children and I know they settle down eventually but I think im just feeling uneasy about the shifting of the goalposts without being told. Hoping it is not a portent of what is to come at the nursery. They do have a very good reputation but it does seem a bit unproffesional to not get in contact with future parents regarding changes of policies and staff. Perhaps I am being too emotional about this...?Anyone else out there that has settled their child at a similar age I would love to hear how you got on and if you think 4 2hr sessions is likely to be enough for a super clingy child.
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daisydaisy
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Re: Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby daisydaisy » Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:39 am

I would say that 4 settling in sessions is plenty- the original 8 may have a counterproductive result as your Lo may get used to the 2 hr sessions then become confused when spending the whole day. As long as they know you are returning to collect them again they should settle quickly- it is amazing how resilient they are, more than we would believe. My tip would be not to linger too long at drop-off as that is when they (you!) are most emotional.
Good luck with it all X
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Evabee
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Re: Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby Evabee » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:34 pm

Thanks daisy daisy, appreciate your thoughts on this. I see your point of view here!
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Kjam143
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Re: Settling in a 1 year old at nursery - how long?

Postby Kjam143 » Mon Jul 25, 2016 7:56 am

My son started nursery almost a year ago just after his first birthday, he was (and still is on occasions very clingy).

We did 5 sessions over 2 weeks, starting at 1 hour and increasing by an hour each time. I stayed with him the first session, the second one I stayed an hour and then left him for an hour. Then the third one he was on his own.

There were some mornings he screamed but if he was screaming when I left they called me after 5 or 10 minutes to give me an update and every time he had already stopped crying!

Even now there may be the odd morning he gets a bit upset but I can see that he has stopped crying before I even leave the building!

If it is a good nursery they won't have her screaming and upset the whole time, if the settling in isn't enough I would imagine they will re-evaluate.
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