Who is tutoring their children? Post Reply

[CompetitveMum]

Went out for dinner last Saturday and was letting the usual dinner party conversation wash over me when one mum almost made me drop my soup spoon!

She has two kids that are the same age as mine (just left reception and just left year 3) and they are both in good private schools. She is *already*having the elder tutored once a week (on Saturday mornings) so that, and I quote,

"He hits the ground running when it comes to the entrance exams for the next set of schools".

Now he goes to a *good* local school and I would have thought that at his age the school, in normal hours, would be doing everything necessary to prepare him for the next stage.

My question is this: is that a one-off from an odd parent or am I drifting happily along in ignorant bliss?

Am I going to find every other child going for JAGS or Alleyns or whatever has been hothoused for years in some secret underground tuition bunker that my family knows nothing about?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for striving for excellence blah blah blah but year 3, its just seems so YOUNG.

Please reassure me that she's the exception.

X

ps and don't lie and post you're not tutoring them when secretly you are! I think there are a few mums on the Common who pretend they don't tutor their kids but are driving them like cart horses behind closed doors

pp sorry for the rant but I am upset/worried

[Yummymummy]

If your child is at a good private/prep school then they should be being prepared for the entrance exams already - that's what you're paying for, and if that's not happening you should insist that it is and extra help be given where needed. If they're at a state school, it's unlikely they will get this support so you do need to invest in a tutor.

We started tutoring our son in Year 4, which we were told was the optimum time to start. He passed the entrance for Alleyn's, Emmanuel, and two grammar schools (Wallington and Wilson's).

What you have to remember is that Alleyn's, Jag's and Dulwich do 'feed' from their prep schools, and so your child is going to be competing for the REMAINING places - not the total number of places - and it's not simply a case of passing the exams. All you can do is cover all your bases so that you know you've done everything possible.

But I think you also have to ask yourself - honestly - whether or not your child is academically bright enough to get into a selective school (Alleyn's, Jag's and Dulwich are all super-academically selective). If they aren't, then while tutoring may help them fulfill their potential, it's unlikely they'll win a place at one of the really selective schools and all that money - and effort - will have been for nothing. They will also feel utterly rejected.

Emmanuel, for example, doesn't place quite so much emphasis on academic ability as a precursor to entrance (although they still have to pass the exam).

Good Luck!