Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

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alexi
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Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

Postby alexi » Fri Apr 30, 2021 10:35 am

I would really love a third child. We have two amazing young children but as one of three I have always hoped that my family would be the same. Despite always being in agreement my husband has now decided that he wants to call it a day. We can afford it, so that isn’t the issue but our youngest, is a terrible sleeper, which I don't think has helped.  I know that we are very lucky to have the happy and healthy children that we have  but I am torn between pushing him into a third and letting it go.  It is  Why should I get my way? But why should he get his? I am 39 so I don't have time on my side and I’m afraid I will resent my husband if we don't go for it. I want to avoid this, but I’m not sure I can.  I guess my question is should I persist in trying to persuade him and if so, how? If I let go, will I be able to put it behind me and not resent him?
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coffeepod
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Re: Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

Postby coffeepod » Fri Apr 30, 2021 11:53 am

It is a really tricky one. One of my closest friends was in a similar situation more based on the fact that she had two boys and wanted a girl. She had suffered mild PND and her husband wasn't keen at all. She persisted and they went ahead and her pink bundle was a joy all round. Not sure if that helps other than to say her husband went with it and he adores his daughter.
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Moonlightdawn
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Re: Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

Postby Moonlightdawn » Wed May 05, 2021 4:13 pm

Hi

Such a delicate, emotive situation. I too longed for a third child and I can relate to your post in many ways.

Making a baby is a joint decision and both partners need to be on board. In my case, my husband made it abundantly and explicitly clear that he did not want to try for a third child.

He felt that life was chaotic enough and that a third would add far too much stress to our busy lives and marriage. Some factors make a significant difference such as having grandparents or family near by, siblings who get on, good sleeper(s), a solid partnership and also career(s) that are/is not all-consuming.

Looking back, he was right. It took me a long time to accept it and I still feel broody at times. At the same time, I feel incredibly lucky to have two healthy children whom I absolute adore. My life is complete.

I send you my best wishes. It’s not easy and I feel your anguish.
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2and2
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Re: Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

Postby 2and2 » Thu May 06, 2021 8:32 pm

I was in your similar situation. I’m 3 of 3 and I think 3 is the perfect number ;-) my second was a terrible sleeper...

My husband absolutely didn’t want a third one also as we both approached 40. I have to say it took me a while to digest it and I kept all the baby stuff for a couple of years in the storage room...also clapham doesn’t help as it seems everyone has at least 3 kids!

Recently my bf got pregnant with the 3rd one. I’m very happy for her but I would not like to start again...

I m fine now - just feel very blessed with 2 lovely kids and I finally gave all the baby stuff away to Little Village. Hopefully someone else will enjoy it as much as I did.

Take care of yourself.

Mumof2
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SW11er
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Re: Should I keep trying to persuade my husband to have a third child?

Postby SW11er » Sat May 08, 2021 11:52 am

I think kids are great and in a few years you definitely won’t regret having a third (if you do I am sure you will be pleased you did and won’t be able to imagine life without). Just make a quick decision, make sure you both accept it and will never resent the other whichever route you decide and move on either as a 4 or a5. Pros and cons of both. If you stick to 4 nice to know you are done!!
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