First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

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GMC
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby GMC » Mon Nov 23, 2020 4:59 pm

Hello,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so overwhelmed. The following info might be helpful to you.
I delivered my second baby at Kingston Hospital and would highly recommend them. I was very anxious about the delivery, though for different reasons. I was referred to ‘The Emerald Team’ who are a specialist midwifery team who look after women who have a higher level of need during their pregnancy. I saw the same two lovely midwives for all my antenatal appointments. The continuity massively helped with my anxiety. I saw their Consultant Obstetric Doctor during this time to discuss my birth plan. Her name is Miss Florence Wilcock. She is a high profile advocate for women to be given more and better birth choices. Google “ miss florence wilcock kingston hospital“ and click on the first result to see her profile on the Kingston Hospital website.
I reckon a booking appointment with Emerald Team then a conversation with her could really help. What you need is evidence-based information about your options, so you can make an informed decision about your mode of delivery.
Good luck!
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AppleCrumble
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby AppleCrumble » Tue Nov 24, 2020 2:58 pm

Congratulations!!! I highly recommend the Positive Birth Company- there are free videos on youtube, so you could get a feel for it first. It’s about £40 I think but the best £40 I’ve probably ever spent.

It’s hypnobirthing - but also all the science which I think helps you to have a much greater understanding of what is happening to your body. As well as learning how to make informed decisions for your birth.

I honestly cannot recommend it enough- the videos are relaxing - you get a lot of content to prepare you, as well as all the breathing techniques etc as well.

I really hope you feel a little less worried with all the fantastic advice offered. Best of luck xx
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Beancounter
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby Beancounter » Wed Nov 25, 2020 4:12 pm

It's a pity that your mother should have scared you like that and spoiled what should be a lovely time of pregnancy.  Your body isn't her body and your experience will be unique to you and the midwifery staff know their onions.  Take whatever help is offered that works for you - loads of suggestions above.  

Do bear in mind what my mother told me - a C section, while common, is a serious operation.  You don't need to be Superwoman afterwards.  Let your body heal.

Good luck - and the babe will turn up regardless of whatever you do.  Lots of cuddles to look forward to!
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KristinHayward
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Joined: Jun 2020
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby KristinHayward » Sat Nov 28, 2020 1:02 pm

Hi and first of all well done for reaching out. Pregnancy can be so overwhelming for so many reasons and Covid has certainly added a big, fat, extra layer of stress. You're not alone and it is possible to feel different!

The other replies have already said what I know too: hypnobirthing is definitely the way forward and you may also find that a 1-1 hypnotherapy session is very useful to eliminate your anxiety - this will ensure the best foundation for hypnobirthing to work well.

I'm a hypnotherapist specialising in fertility, pregnancy and birth for the past 20 years, teaching hypnobirthing to countless couples with amazing results - I'd love to tell you a bit about the support I can provide, you're welcome to call me (07963 046456) when you have a moment.

Please also come to my free hypnobirthing Zoom sessions - 30mins of relaxation, stress release and important time with your baby. These sessions (no cost) have provided many women/couples with a strong anchor during lockdown and, I'm delighted to say, have really helped them feel less anxious, alone and scared of birth.

Next Zoom sessions are on Wed 9th Dec ... book your free place on www.thehypnobirthingexperts.com homepage, email info@thehypnobirthingexperts.com or simply call me on 07963 046456.

In the meantime focus on 1 day at a time, look for the positives, however small they may seem. If you fill your head with positives then there's less space for the negatives. You can train your mind to connect to the positives and that's so beneficial for your baby's wellbeing too.

I'd love to help and know that hypno techniques can make all the difference. It's important to learn hypnobirthing from a qualified hypnotherapist, especially if you're feeling anxious. The deep relaxation or trance can trigger emotions (known as abreactions) and it's important to know how to release these correctly, possibly with 1-1 hypnotherapy.

Wishing you all the best and hope we can connect online (or in person after lockdown!)
Kristin x
www.thehypnobirthingexperts.com
07963 046456
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aevinnoymksed
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby aevinnoymksed » Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:50 am

A friend of mine recently had an elective c section on the NHS. She has a history of (manageable but medicated) anxiety but more to the point had had around 5 miscarriages and a TFMR which required her to deliver at 16/17 weeks.  I think it was enough for the staff that this baby was beyond precious given the history and she wanted to go the route with the fewest variables and safest for the baby (which I understand there is research to support being c section, microbiome benefits excluded).
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https://nappyvalleynet.com/wellbeing-guide
https://merrygoround.club/
https://www.flowan-health.com/
https://recentre-health.co.uk/womens-health-support/
Juliet18
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby Juliet18 » Tue Aug 29, 2023 8:57 pm

You are entirely allowed to opt for an elective C section on the NHS. Yes some midwives will obviously have a preference, but they are not allowed to force you one way or the other. When you request one, they do go through the pros/cons very thoroughly - not in the same way that they do for a vaginal birth. No one readily publicises 80% of births will result in tears, but they’re happy to tell you your changes of infection etc for surgery. But you are entirely within your right to request an elective - sure they can ask you for your reasons - but they cannot tell you you can’t. Look at the NICE birth guidelines to know your rights.
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Balhamqueen
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby Balhamqueen » Tue Aug 29, 2023 9:11 pm

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I was quite the opposite - brainwashed by NCT, absolutely scared of c section but now I'm so delighted I gave birth naturally. It was so amazing. I was in Kingston hospital too. They were amazing. My recovery was super fast. Are you American by any chance? Your body really is designed to give birth naty ost of the time...
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Balhamqueen
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby Balhamqueen » Tue Aug 29, 2023 9:15 pm

Meant "naturally" not "naty ost" ,😂
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ShreddedWheat
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Re: First pregnancy, completely overwhelmed

Postby ShreddedWheat » Thu Aug 31, 2023 4:46 pm

Your mother is right to be open about the realities. Majority of women seem to have a good experience giving birth naturally with manageable pain. However, a large minority of people do not. Humans are poorly designed for giving birth.

Premature birth, being induced, tearing, infection, sick babies, extreme pain, emergency C-sections - these are things that happen frequently but no one talks about them, especially to first time mothers 'in case they scare them'.

It's not scaring, it's preparing. When things don't go unicorns you want to be armed with knowledge to keep a degree of control over the situation. For example, after several hours in labour with my first baby I was told it was stuck and they were taking me to theatre to do 'ventouse then forceps then emergency caesarian' and I knew enough to say skip the forceps.

I strongly recommend having your own birthing partner, midwife or doula or experienced nursing/midwife friend, someone who understands what is to be expected and what not (so not your husband), someone you trust to recommend a course of action or to communicate on your behalf should things not go the way you planned.

St George's: wish I had not. Elective C-section: wish with all my heart I had. That said, if you have one booked and the baby decides to come early I would not automatically go for an emergency c. Prematurity: I was told to lie down a lot and have showers not baths especially weeks 20-28.
Wish you good luck, and well done for thinking about this early on.
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https://recentre-health.co.uk/womens-health-support/
https://nappyvalleynet.com/wellbeing-guide
https://merrygoround.club/

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