husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

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tennisfan
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husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby tennisfan » Thu Jul 04, 2024 6:33 pm

I appreciate that I am probably about to come across as very old fashioned but I am currently feeling very dismayed by my husband's recent announcement that he is planning on getting a tattoo for his 50th birthday. 

I absolutely hate them and think that they look ridiculous on most people and especially older people. A personal opinion obviously but my thoughts or request for him not to get one don't seem to be making any impact.

According to him it will be something 'tasteful' based on dates of the children's birthdays which in itself is ludicrous because he can barely remember their birthdays and was even away on a golf weekend for our son's sixteenth birthday.

I am just so embarrassed by the whole thing and think it is cringeworthy that he would make such a shallow declaration on his body.

Not sure what I am going to think if actually goes ahead and does it. 

Wondering if any other partners have wanted them or have them and if you were against it how did you manage to get them to not have one (if you did) or how are you dealing with it (if you didn't).

Feels like he is trying to 'keep up with younger Jones's' at work!
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muddyboots
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby muddyboots » Fri Jul 05, 2024 5:55 pm

I feel for you … embarrassing indeed .
Perhaps convince him to put a temporary henna on his skin as a compromise and see if he gets sick of it ?
Only the decide for the real thing .

Your issue is, the more you protest the more he will want to “be a free spirit” and imagine himself like a young man with no nagging from his wife 😁
Men can be so ridiculous.

Perhaps if this is as bad as it gets for his midlife crisis count your blessings.
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Onceuponatime
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Onceuponatime » Mon Jul 08, 2024 6:18 am

It’s his body, not yours.
What would the comments be like if the genders were swapped?
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JJ1985
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby JJ1985 » Mon Jul 08, 2024 8:15 am

He’s a bit behind the curve. - people are starting to get them removed now. Anyway, maybe try a kinder approach and plead with him not to, not because it’s embarrassing (negative) but because it’s upsetting you.
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Lola123
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Lola123 » Mon Jul 08, 2024 8:25 am

I’m just trying to understand why you are embarrassed is it embarrassment for him or for you? I would be concerned the more you protest the larger it will be! I would think about looking at communication or some therapy so you can have the opportunity to set out your rationale for objecting to his actions and hear his reasons with a trained 3rd party helping you. I can see this is a very big issue for you and if you think it will affect your marriage long term then I would certainly get some counselling at this point - good luck!
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Mikeydon
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Mikeydon » Mon Jul 08, 2024 9:04 am

Wow, what a touching gesture! Immortalising the kids' birthdays in ink is a brilliant idea, especially when remembering them on his own is such an impossible feat. I'm sure this tattoo will be a beautiful, permanent solution to his calendar woes! I think you will discover at some point that he has an underlining personality issue going on.😀
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Kirstie’s Mom
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Kirstie’s Mom » Mon Jul 08, 2024 9:46 am

Don’t be embarrassed . Men do many strange things as they approach 50 , just be glad he isn’t acquiring mistresses. That said , is there something you know he doesn’t like on you : short hair , different hair colour , nose piercing etc ? Then you can suggest you do that in turn . Might work .
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Janet14
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Janet14 » Mon Jul 08, 2024 10:03 am

Hi
As someone who has two small discreet tattoos (admittedly from many years ago) I can say I have never regretted them, I love them and they are very personal to me. Think you might need to open your mind a bit. Not all tattoos are the same and some are beautiful pieces of art.
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Eachtotheirown
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Eachtotheirown » Mon Jul 08, 2024 11:02 am

What is actually your concern about him having a tattoo? He's not harming anyone is he? Are you only with him for the way he looks and presents himself? Maybe he's only harming your ego? How would you feel if he responded like this because of something you wanted to do for yourdself? Maybe just let him be him, respect him for his sense of adventure and not being so snobby, and appreciate that he's only getting a harmless tattoo. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be so controlled that he can't control his own body.
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Wonder Woman
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Wonder Woman » Tue Jul 09, 2024 11:19 am

Not everyone has the same taste . As far as wonderful art ? Go to a museum or buy a painting . Trust me a tattoo on a 60 plus year old body is not a work of art no matter how tasteful which is an oxymoron for a tattoo . She is asking for help not to be chided by people with different ideas to her as to what is tasteful .
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Starr
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby Starr » Thu Jul 11, 2024 2:46 pm

Look on the bright side, he will remember their birthdays now :lol:

I don't think it is embarrassing and so many people have them.
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SWLondon1
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Re: husband wants a tattoo and I am so embarrassed

Postby SWLondon1 » Mon Jul 15, 2024 7:48 am

I used to be very anti tattoos and have always said to my children that if they get a tattoo I’ll change the locks! However, as we’ve got older (I’m now in my mid 50s) I have relaxed my views a lot. And a surprising number of our friends now have them. Mainly the mothers, somewhere discreet and something that means a lot to them (the date of the very sad death of a child, a star with their daughter when she managed to put on enough weight after years of battling anorexia etc) Would you be happier if it was somewhere hidden? How big will it be? Can you see it if he was wearing shorts and a t shirt?
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