Catcalling Post Reply

[Marmalade]

Hi

I just wanted to mention that my daughter was catcalled this evening at around 5.45pm on Broomwood Road. She got off the bus after school and started walking home. Needless to say she was extremely upset when she got home and burst into tears. At 14 years old this is so disturbing and I ask anyone who witnesses this to step up and say something.

Thanks

[muddyboots]

Hi,

I’m sorry that your daughter experienced this and was distressed.

It wasn’t clear who did this and if other people were around to be able to do something.

Who did this? Was is a grown man or school boys?
It would be a serious matter if the former.

Girls have the right to walk home in peace without being sexualised and it’s very distressing especially for young girls as this is a sad realisation what it means entering puberty and womanhood.

Hope this doesn’t happen again and hopefully your girl will be resilient.

[Starr]

It's awful and I remember this as a school girl travelling back from school in uniform by grown men. I do hope she's okay. It's also happened to my daughter's friends and mine is beginning to look older too. It should be called out and they have no right to do that!

[dimelda]

Muddyboots:  Unfortunately, 14 year old girls in school uniforms - with which the British are obsessed - are already sexualised.  But I'm not holding my breath.

[alenaraphaella]

As a mum of a 5-year old girl, I really sympathise with the awful situation around your daughter being catcalled. I recall going through the same thing as a 14-year old and how awful it felt. I myself have often wondered how to navigate these waters with her and also my two sons.

The advice I plan on giving my daughter is that there will always be males (young, old, in the middle, etc) who will catcall, and that she needs to steel herself when it happens, which it inevitably will. Don't rise to it, don't respond, keep walking and if she ever feels unsafe, to walk up to any nearby residences/shops and ring their doorbells.

You may well be wondering why my focus is on her, and not trying to change the behaviour of males who do this. This because I don't believe animal behaviour can change, and after all, humans are animals. Trying to focus on changing the bevaiour of these types of males, who will continue to be born and have these instincts, is idealistic and unrealistic.

I think it's far better to teach our daughters of the realities of life, and how to face them with strength and courage. In my opinion, focusing on trying to change the negative behaviour of others does our daughters a huge disservice. For my sons, I teach them often about personal responsibility and behaving with respect to others. When the time is right, this will include not catcalling girls and women and if they see their friends doing it, to not copy them. As parents all we can do is our best, including equipping our children with the right mindsets and tools to navigate these sorts of situations.

[Vicki W]

Hi,


Who did this? Was is a grown man or school boys?
It would be a serious matter if the former.

Its a serious matter done by school boys too. Boys are learning that harrassment of girls is ignored and so they grow into this attitude through learning its tolerated by the adults around them. Boys aged 16 - 24 have the highest rates of domestic abuse so the earlier they learn that male violence against women and children isnt tolerated the better off we'll all be.

 

[Vicki W]

You may well be wondering why my focus is on her, and not trying to change the behaviour of males who do this. This because I don't believe animal behaviour can change, and after all, humans are animals. Trying to focus on changing the bevaiour of these types of males, who will continue to be born and have these instincts, is idealistic and unrealistic.

Sexist harrassment is not animal behaviour in the same way that racist harrassment isn't animal behaviour.  Both are learnt social behaviours and the more people that call it out when it occurs, the more social unacceptable it will become. Catcalling is verbal harrassment of girls in a public space. Left unchecked, its purveyors use the same aggression in private against female family members and the next generation of girls is taught that domestic abuse and public harrassment is just a part of being female and boys learn that public and domestic abuse of women is acceptable.

 

[Christmastree]

Annoying to have this unwanted attention.

But I must say the call out the rather anti-British narrow-minded comment about school uniform here placing blame away from the building workers or whoever did it.

The OP did not specify if the student was in school uniform or not and mostly it is simply a dark jacket and can be trousers or a skirt so it maybe totally irrelevant.

[Oli]

That’s right. While teaching your daughter to stay safe and vigilant is one thing, it is important to always call out behaviour like this, and coach the men and boys in your life to do so. It’s not enough to not be predatory yourself. Us girls have been experiencing this since we were 12, if not younger. I’ve been followed, cat called, harassed and worse. It’s very healing when someone steps in because you feel that you aren’t alone and the world is changing a little for the better.

[dimelda]

TO:  CHRISTMAS TREE:  The OP said her daughter got off the bus 'after school' - so she was more than likely in a school uniform.  Stop splitting straws.  Nine out of ten schools - in the UK - have a school uniform policy, and most female pupils wear skirts.  In fact, some schools don't permit their female pupils to wear trousers.  In no way am I placing the blame away from the idiots who catcalled her ... but I am saying that female school pupils should be allowed to wear trousers instead of skirts, making them less likely to be on the receiving end of unwanted catcalling, and certainly making them safer overall.  But, hey, it's Britain & it's not likely to happen.
 

[Christmastree]

To draw these conclusions on the event posted here, you would need to know the frequency of cat-calling here in UK versus in other countries, and school uniform use or not etc etc and other facts.

Girls do opt sometimes to wear skirts anyway when given choice, which an increasing number of schools do. A choice is a choice.
Making everyone wear trousers and blaming Britain, to remedy wolf-whistling is not the solution.

[Starr]

When a young girl is in a uniform there is no doubt that she is a child. The problem is not the uniform itself or how short the skirt is, as most males have enough awareness and no interest in troubling a young girl. There is sometimes genuine confusion about a young girls age but in a uniform there is no excuse. Cat calling is a form of harassment and can make you feel vulnerable just walkjng from A to B no matter what age you are. I have experience of this like a lot of women have as a young woman and a teen and school girl and it isn't harmless, it feels threatening and uncomfortable. No excuse for it and we should tell our young girls that to validate them.

[dimelda]

Christmas Tree:   Did I say that everyone should be made to wear trousers?!!   Read my comments carefully, & understand them, before making such a vapid comment.

[dimelda]

Starr:  I’m sorry to say you are wrong.   The problem IS the uniform.  A report in 2018 by Plan International, the children’s charity, widely publicised at the time, reported that one in three girls in the UK has been sexually harassed in public when wearing school uniform – which included being groped, stared at, catcalled, wolf-whistled & being filmed by a stranger without permission.   And since 2018, it’s fair to assume that not a lot has changed.  The report also revealed that, sadly, schoolgirls felt that street harassment is "all part of growing up".   There’s something about school uniforms worn by pubescent & postpubescent girls, particularly with those ridiculous ties, that makes them fair game for the misfits in society.   Calling it out will just tinker with the problem - it won't solve it.    

[Starr]

Dimelda, I'm not sure. Girls and boys spend a huge chunk of their lives in uniforms. To me it's opportunists and those with very poor impulse control when girls are traveling back from school and transport.
You are probably right that for some perverts a school uniform can be a turn on. But you are moving into dangerous territory when suggesting a girl or woman should alter her clothes and appearance - where do we draw that line?