I totally agree, it absolutely makes my blood boil. For my sons party a few months ago, having immediately had 16 rsvps yes a month before, we had 6 cancellations in just the last few days before the party, all for lame reasons, and most upsettingly, all with very very casual non caring way of telling us, no big apology. I was utterly stunned by some of the incredibly casual e-mails I received telling me. And 16 down to 10 threw off the games we were playing, made it a different party, although of course my son still loved it and the friends who came. But it was a house party and I had gone to major effort and had made things for each child - so that was about 18 things I spent my time making that was a total waste of time (my choice to have used my time in the first place I know) - and we had also spent a fair amount of money on each child, and we are not wealthy, we do need to count the pennies, so that bit of it hurt. So it was so infuriating and really upset me. But - of course the classic thing, what do you do? You contain your anger, you don't actually confront people with their bad behaviour - and it is bad behaviour. I slightly blasted out one Mum and she was quite surprised, but immediately then understood that actually it's not a casual thing and there is time, effort and expense involved for the hosts and she was very apologetic. We missed a b-day party last week because my son had chickenpox, there really was nothing any one could do about that, but I still felt so bad for the Mum that it was a last minute cancellation for her efforts. But, and I don't mean this dramatically, I've clocked up who won't get invites again and who I'll invite to other things but will be prepared for them not turning up on the day. Although my daughter's party a couple of wks ago worked out totally perfectly, those who couldn't come gave immediate rsvps to that effect and no one dropped out or turned up last minute. Who knows! It is London life I think, so on one level I think we have to accept it and make allowances and preparation for it, but on the other hand, maybe we need to start being braver and actually pull people up on their behaviour. I was very close to sending out an e-mail to all the invitees telling them how upsetting and rude it was, but I thought for the sake of good relations at the school gate not to. But isn't that exactly why people just keep getting away with bad behaviour? and we suffer in silence? I don't know what the answer is.