Postby pigeonpairmum » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:15 pm
Very interesting article. Thank you for sharing. I think it will raise a lot of commentary. The writer's honesty is to be applauded, albeit with the benefit of hindsight (and a major life change) - but that is OK, we all live and learn, and I think should forgive her and celebrate what she is now doing.
My observations:
1.women can be their own worst enemies - both to themselves, and to each other.
2. we forget that every one is different - or we don't bother to enquire. Gone are the days when everyone stamped a card at 9am in and 5pm out. I have been working now for an hour or so, because I chose to leave my PT job early today. I still feel I have to "prove" my "worth" both to myself and to others, and I am senior! Can we all please just be a little more forgiving, and a little less judgmental?
3. humans like order, and whilst flexi-working works for open-minded people and suits those are focussed on product output, rather than how many hours they have technically been in the office, there is still a suspicion - built of unacknowledged envy IMO - that PT or "different" patterns of working are not to be trusted. I don't think this is deliberate by any means. Those of us who work PT by choice, or do flexi-patterns, work really hard - partly to assuage our own guilt, lack of confidence, whatever emotion is driving the person to "prove themselves" both as a parent (or as a non-parent who chooses to work PT for another organisation, or for themselves, or not at all) or as a valued worker. Perhaps we don't help ourselves, inadvertently.
4. I get a lot of envy from mum-at-home friends and from FT-worker-mum friends. They both feel I have the best of both worlds as a PT. I think we all make sacrifices and compromises whatever our path in life. Maybe the path for men is in fact less difficult because of the (automatic) expectation to go to work FT. For example, I am always interested, and surprised, to meet men at the playground. I often talk to them - assume they are on a day's leave, for example. That's a judgement which is often correct (based on statistics, I guess) - but not always. Most importantly, let's embrace the fact we have the freedom to make a choice.
5. please can women support each other . Lunch and coffee not drinks. Appreciate early starts, don't look at your watch at 4 or 5 or whatever time. Power meetings. Focus on result not input. Others - mostly men as they set up and maintain and still drive the "system", but the women too who are on the same wave, or are caught up in the system (and yes this particularly affects the childless IMO, irrespective of age) - are desperately trying to keep up. Those of us who choose not to keep up in the same way, but to go about making things happen in a relatively unorthodox way, are to be valued, trusted, respected and supported.
