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Northcote restaurant 1 star food hygiene! Local nursery shambles? Icky face creams

Last Updated on : 3rd December 2018

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

“Have you seen my Christmas cards?”

A visibly stressed Mr NVN was desperately rummaging through a kitchen drawer.

As my husband is not known as a prolific card giver, his behaviour was a little out of character.

“I don’t know,” I replied, “but I’ve been writing cards all day, so either they’re where you left them or I’ve used them.”

He went a little pale.

“I hope you haven’t. They’re my, error, cards for my friends.”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

“They’re not appropriate for everyone.”

It turns out that in a rare moment of pro-activity Mr NVN had ordered some “humorous” cards for his university friends.

It also turns out that the cards are “especially brilliant” (his words) because they look like normal Christmas cards but on closer inspection contain prose that would make Jimmy Carr blush.

As of now, he thinks there is a 50% chance one of his relatives will be on the receiving end of this schoolboy humour.

I’m torn between telling him where I’ve hidden them precisely so this mix-up didn’t happen, or sending a few to his family knowing I can blame it on him.


Here is what you’ve been talking about this week on NappyValleyNet…

One Northcote Road restaurant scores ONE out of a possible FIVE for food hygiene (read more).

Interesting news for many of you who have been already discussing this issue – unauthorised temporary buildings have been ordered to be removed at Clapham South (read more).

And very sad news that a woman has died following a fire in a flat on Garratt Lane (read more).

S. would love a local cake baker recommendation (read more). Oooh I’ve heard that bakers make awful boyfriends as they’re so kneady!

The thread about which face creams actually work has taken an unusual turn after A. posted a link to something Kate Beckinsale uses (read more). I can’t believe she actually puts THAT on her face!

C. writes that they’ve lost a beloved cuddly bunny, either on St James’ Drive or in Kingston (read more). Have you seen the rare rabbit? I mean rare as in “not around” as opposed to one that has been cooked under a low heat…

K. asks where you can buy locally the good old-fashioned advent calendars that aren’t stuffed with chocolate!? Mr NVN has asked for a “Fortnite” advent calendar. I am not joking…(read more)

B. has posted with a warning about a discovery at Winterville, though realises it could happen anywhere. Well worth reading – thanks for sharing (read more).

Lots of sage advice and warnings in for M. following her question last week about the rights of a ‘common law wife’ (read more). Turns out she doesn’t have any.

H. has sadly lost the rock from her ring – any jewellers locally who could replace the disappearing diamond? (read more)

J. is an assistant producer on a new programme about parenting techniques and they’re looking for families to feature (read more). If you’re happy for your family failures to feature on national TV do get in touch!

V. is looking for a local payroll services company (read more).

M. has spotted that a well-known supermarket is selling great value, sustainably grown Christmas trees (read more).

There’s a Christmas Yoga & Mindfulness Fundraiser at Chatham Hall soon (read more).

G. has posted news of a session with Marsha de Cordova next week to hear her thought on…you guessed it…Brexit (read more). Oooh that hasn’t been in the news for AGES – wonder what’s going on?

S. is looking for a birthday dress for her daughter who’s about to turn one(read more). So so cute!

Brindisa on Hildreth Street have made some changes lately with freshly made organic bread and tortilla daily and lots of festive goodies for entertaining (read more).

N. is looking for a private paediatrician over Shoreditch way – know of anyone amongst our easterly neighbours? (read more)

L. would like to hear from you about both natural birth and having a C-section as she has a fear of childbirth (read more).

L. needs to choose between St George’s and Kingston to have her baby. Any experiences you’re happy to share? (read more)

And another L. asked about which cab company they could rely on to transport a woman in in labour to hospital for the birth (read more).

You may have noticed – how could you miss the sparkle and snow!? – that we’ve just launched a fabby Christmas competition – 12 Days of Christmas. We have an amazing prize to giveaway every single day to help you get into the festive spirit and it couldn’t be easier to enter, so take a look and try your hand at winning – may the luck be with you! (read more)

John Thorogood would like to thank everyone who stopped by at the Northcote Road Christmas Lights Switch On. You raised £305 which they’ve doubled and have donated £610 to Breast Cancer Now. Well done! (read more)

Blackbird Jewellery on Webbs Road are having a stock clearance salelater this week with up to 50% off – beware the stampede! (read more)

Source Bulk Food which opened recently on Battersea Rise is proving popular with eco-conscious shoppers (read more). I think it’s effectively bring your own packaging.

Come celebrate Christmas with us at our free NappyValleyNet Festive Meet-Up later this week. We’ll be at Fresh Ground with Happy Tots there to keep your little ones happy while you mingle, plus goodie bags with thanks to the lovely Lemon Tree (read more).

Skylark are hosting Pop-Up Wednesdays, the chance for small businesses to sell their wares in this Wandsworth Common hub of coffee, cake and conversation (read more).

Upbeat Music is running a fun pre-Christmas course with singing, recording, performing and generally rocking-out! (read more)

A cooking opportunity for your little ones while you shop at the Tootmas Handmade Fair this coming weekend (read more).

Hayman’s Gin is holding an open day at their distillery on Weir Road soon. Did someone say gin? (read more)

Bright Horizons have just teamed up with NCT to offer free registeration to NCT members. I loved NCT and Bright Horizons – great to see them team up! (read more)

And our friends at Forkful Foods have posted about their brilliant Christmas services – they’re ace and their booze planner is invaluable! (read more)


We have a Winter Wonderland full of House & Garden Questions

C. would love to hear from you if know much about living in the Sands End area of Fulham – they’re looking to buy there (read more).

Princes Tree Delivery has posted about their Christmas tree to your front door offering (read more).

C. is looking for a short let near Clapham Common North Side (read more).

Another C. has seen a house they like but it seems to be on an incline. Any advice? (read more)

Z. would like recommendations for a chartered structural engineer. Maybe that’s who you need, C.! (read more)

A. is looking for a flat to rent in the area (read more).

S. is after a flat roof specialist. That’s the roof that’s flat, not like Flat Stanley..(read more)

And B. needs to find somebody to clear the gutters above a glass roof extension – it’s proving tricky (read more). If you’d like your chimney pristine for the Main Man this Christmas,

T. has some availability (read more).

A couple of recent removal company recommendations if you’re in the market (read more).

S. is being disturbed by her neighbours via the chimney flue, who might help create a barrier? (read more)

And T. is looking for someone who might be able to revamp an Ikea play kitchen (read more).


We have a Wassailing Sack full of Schools Posts

Dolphin is now number 39 in the Sunday Times Top 100 Prep Schools – they keep on going up! (read more)

B. asks if anyone else lives in Wimbledon and goes to Thomas’s Clapham, or should they consider SW19 preps instead? (read more)

V. asks for thoughts on her choice between Bertrum House Nursery and Marmalade Caterpillar (read more).

N. is looking for nursery recommendations over in east London so if you’re reading our forum and happen to live over that way too, please help! (read more)

And back in the ‘hood, B. has posted about her frustration at their nursery, with N. replying with his disagreement (read more).

Links Primary School in Tooting has a Christmas fundraiser – one winner scoops Christmas! (read more)

Exceptional Academics is running an 11+ Booster course in the Christmas break (read more).

And they have mock exams too (read more).


We have a carol service full of Travel posts

S. asks about good summer camps for teens (read more).

The thread about where to go in Europe for a girls’ weekend has picked up again – when are we going? (read more)

And Travel Designers invite you all in for a mince pie and festive cocktail on Saturday – and there’s a tree covered in prizes…(read more).


Situations Vacant

Part-time book-keeper with Rampton Baseley (read more).

7+ Maths and English tutor with Exceptional Academics (read more).

Part-time Head of Operations for Mint & Co. (read more).

IT-literate and patient person needed to teach basic IT skills (read more).

Full-time Customer Services Advisor in Clapham Junction (read more).

Full-time position in Swoon showroom (read more).

Part-time marketing role in Wimbledon (read more).

Volunteer event organisers with Share Community (read more).


For sale

Brio toddler walker (read more). B

rand new GEOX boots size 41 (read more).

Didrikson salopettes age 1.5/2 (read more).

Oomo Roomo lightweight travelcot (read more).



Islabike Beinn 20 or 24 in red or blue (read more).



Annabel and NappyValleyNet Team


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