Recently employed a nanny? Please read. Natural birth scare stories. Earlsfield traffic protest. School birthday party etiquette?

Last Updated on : 20th July 2015

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

“And you can see the actual chefs preparing the actual food!”

On Thursday evening my family decamped en-masse to the West End to meet up with an old friend.

He was over from the US with his family and they were staying in a swanky London hotel.

The hotel had an even swankier restaurant where the dividing line between the kitchen and dining room had been blurred or, as our host put it, “one can experience cooking as theatre.”

Much as I love my old university friend he does set himself up a little to be teased and I wasn’t sure how my littles one would react to his grand, sweeping statements.

In the end I needn’t have worried.

“You can also see them cook in McDonalds,” replied my youngest, “but there they wrap the food in paper to keep it fresh.”

I was still trying to work out the last time I’d taken her to the “Golden Arches” as it’d obviously made a big impression when my eldest returned from the loo.

“The bogs here are amazing,” he enthused loudly, “they’ve got an actual massive towel mountain in there but I knocked it over trying to play towel Jenga.”

With that all the children, English and American, dashed off to play “towel Jenga” and I wondered if the next comment might reflect well on my family.

But it was Mr NappyValleyNet’s turn to speak.

“I think I can see them about to boil your crab,” he said to our host, “if it screams do you think we will hear it?”

Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet (Wandsworth):

1A difficult post to write but potentially extremely important. If you, or someone you know, has recently employed a nanny with limited references then please do read this post…click here for details

SGM dropped her phone down the loo! Boo! Then she tried a trick to dry it out and it’s fine. Yay! This isn’t one of those horrid clickbait stories, the answer will really actually surprise you!…click here for details

SIS is looking for books around band 11. Any ideas? Thanks to TestClubTutors we already have some! Thanks!…click here for details

The new Hazelmere development is putting a heavy load on Penwith Road. A petition has been started to try and balance HGV traffic around the surrounding streets more evenly. Sign if you think that’s a good idea!…click here for details

Wellyboots is wondering whether to opt for C-Section or natural birth? She’s very fit, and is tempted by a natural birth, but her pole dancing teacher has told her lots of horror stories that are putting her offclick here for details

2Two manly posts asking for manly things! First off, James need to rent space in a garage for his motor cycle, please send all replies courtesy of the Earlsfield Chapter of the Hells Angels (OK, OK, I’m joking about that last bit: it’s the Balham Chapter!) (click here) and TwoMonkey’s is looking for firepit advice for her husband. Hmm that post reads a little funny but you know what I mean!…click here for details

TWO party entertainer pieces of advice needed. HJM is searching for a Roald Dahl style party entertainer for a 6th birthday (click here) andSchnitzel for a “slapstick entertainer” for a here for details

Last Sunday was the Northcote Road Summer Fete! As usual the Business Network, the Clapham Junction Town Centre peeps and the C Council put on an amazing day and somehow even managed to push back the predicted rain by a few hours. It was another brilliant day with tens of thousands of visitors, one hundred and fifty stalls and about a gabillion balloons. Thank you to everyone who made this possible especially Jonathan Dyson from Hamptons, Gertrude and Ivy and Estbury basements. Roll on 2016! …click here for details

Natural birth scare storiesBama’s little one is about to join a reception class and she wonders what is the etiquette for party invites? Wise move to check, you could have Myleen Klass in your group and she Tweets first and asks questions later! here for details

Tinnitus is horrible and poor OM’s friend is a sufferer. Any advice to help them cope, she asks? here for details

A bunch of meet-up posts! Lights would like to meet-up, she’s in Balham/Clapham South and has an 8 month old (click here), HappyMummy is joining Parkgate nursery in September and would like to meet (click here). Honeywell and High View parents of 2015 reception age children would like to meet (click here). Two more au-pairs looking to meet (click here) and if you’re a French mum in Wimbledon we have people who want to meet you!.click here for details

We love Lifestyle Design + Build and now they’ve launched a handyman service. Just like Ghostbusters…”who ya gonna call!” here for details

Gift ideas for a three year old? The first person to suggest a hip-flask gets banned!…click here for details

TickledPink is closing. Boo! But what’s it going to become? If you know we want to know!…click here for details

But a new store has opened. It’s The Crewroom and it’s on Northcote Road. Yay!…click here for details

BooBella needs a magician for a party. Not a lot! (Only my more mature users will get that reference). Who is Nappy Valley’s most wondrous wizard?…click here for details

Natural birth scare storiesI really hope we can help with this post. Gillak asks if anyone has naturally given birth to a breech baby? Some great feedback so far, thanks everyone!…click here for details

Another post I hope we resolve. Sophie lost her glasses at the Ickles Pickles Summer Party. They’re prescription and she’s lost without them. Anyone found them?…click here for details

Astolat asks if partners are now allowed to stay overnight on the post-natal wards at C&W? She’s quite a private person and doesn’t really like the idea (click here).

Frankie has just moved to Fulham and is obsessed with yoga and Pilate’s. Can you suggest a studio in SW6?…click here for details

Botox: is it common in SW London and if you’re familiar with it can you suggest a provider? I’d be grinning with delight at the number of responses this post has had but I can’t move my mouth…click here for details

Two dentist posts: Lalectrice is looking for a friendly dentist for children on Northcote Road (click here) and MM looking for feedback on theOrthodontic Practice on Battersea Rise (click here).

Clara Bee is a great friend of NappyValleyNet and she’s running an interior design workshop on children’s rooms. It’s on the 10th of September and you can sign-up here! (click here).

Like runs for the Australian cricket team, your travel questions just keep coming!

JulianTennisCoach is off to Tuscany.  I’m envious! But which route should he take, he asks? I hope we can *serve* him up the best route, I’m sure he’ll *love* that as long as we don’t “let” him get lost!…click here for details

Borneo with a toddler, good idea asks MW? I’ve no idea but I’m sure someone out there does! here for more details

SJH mummy would like to take her four month and six year old somewhere hot and self-catering in Jan/Feb. Do you have any ideas? here for details

Lastly, if you’re considering apps for toddlers to keep them quiet on long flights, we’ve had some interesting additions to that thread!click here for details

“School’s Out for Summer” sang Top Hatted Rocker Alice Cooper but your education queries keep coming!

2010E1 asks an extremely interesting/controversial/relevant question (delete as appropriate): “Which of the following schools has the best leaver’s destinations?” (click here).

R4T would love feedback on Bishop Grant school in Streatham. Good Ofsted and a Catholic school in Streatham has to be a contender he writes!…click here for details

How much does the St Anselms waiting list move, asks Venus? If you know please do reply!…click here for details

Looking for a new job? We have more vacancies than Downton Abbey has staff!

The Dogfather is a great friend of NappyValleyNet and he needs “dog boarders” for the summer. You’ll be looking after some of his charges for the summer and it’ll be totes fun! It’s like your own dog but you get to give it back! Yay! (click here), Lydia has work experience available on a British rainwear brand for a fashion student. Thanks for posting Lydia! (click here).

Finally, it’s your house and garden questions: we have more than The Open has raindrops!

Buying a freehold from Wandsworth Council: any advice? (click here). MumsofSam needs a kitchen lighting specialist! All together now, LIGHTS, CAMERA, SOUFFLE! (click here). Snowpea is hunting for someone to trim a hedge. My neighbour works with hedges but he works at Canary Wharf so I don’t think he can help! (click here). MA is looking for a lawyer to help with a freehold purchase (click here). JA would love recommendations forsomeone to clean her oven (click here). GG is thinking of buying a new washing machine. Can you suggest a brand? (click here) Avalon would love tiles that work both inside and outside. The brand they’re considering is Valverdi, good choice? (click here)

Annabel’s Arcade is our “totes free” buying and selling site!

For Sale: Ralph Lauren rugby shirts for a rugged toddler! (click here) a Mountain Swift carry cot (click here) and a two seater Designers Guild sofa (click here)

Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week!!


 Annabel and the Team


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