This is avery honest post and I think you're very brave to put it out there. Take that bravery and know that everyone can get help being released from their vices. Well done on being so strong so far. Everyone has hiccups, but don't let anyone judge you, they aren't you.

Hi
Sorry you are having issues.

Am looking into it now!

Thank you

I am sorry to bump this post however, I am having trouble sending PMs. I know Annabel is looking into this for me but now I am not sure that even she is receiving communication from me.

GWcouns I am very keen to hear from you.

Please, could you try and PM me?

Many thanks

Wishing you all the best in court my heart goes out to you - if you haven't come across this already I find this an incredibly useful website www.soberistas.com particularly the chat network who help you through difficult times plus much food for thought from people who have experienced similar difficulties as a result of using alcohol to control stress and anxiety.

My advice would be to Get back to the meetings ASAP and take a good long look at step one!

My advice would be to Get back to the meetings ASAP and take a good long look at step one!

For Heavens' Sake - this incredibly honest, lady is clearly suffering enough. She sounds wrecked with guilt and shame. Thank God nobody was hurt - otherthan herself and her family. She needs support to help give her the strength to change and heal NOT be reprimanded! Of course it's very tragic what had happened to your friends - but be fair, it's not this lady's fault. Direct your emotions at the guilty people responsible. This lady is clearly a good mother, who has made an irresponsible, error of judgement. Otherwise she would have no conscience or show any regrets, which is indisputably obvious that she has.
Please get this into perspective. sadly she is not the first to drink and drive nor the last.

Hello again.

Wildatheart I just wanted to say that the Duty Solicitor advised me that Social Services would be contacted. This was something I did not even think about. Yes, I am now aware they could take my child just as much as I could get a custodial sentence. The next day my husband and I went to my child's nursery and told them everything. The manager was extremely shocked and yet incredibly supportive.

I gave her as much facts as I could about my past and she in turn contacted the Child Protection Agency as she is also the Safeguarding Manager. In addition they offered to have my child full time as well without any additional cost whilst we go through this time.At first I was very wary of this but now very appreciative.

To date (from 1st July to 11th July) we have heard nothing from SS which is good and not good. But they say patience is a virtue and good things happen to those who wait........

Thank you for all your posts and PMs.

My child is doing well and no longer talks about the accident and accepts that Mummy no longer has a car.

I continue to attend AA meetings and am getting to know the faces. The meetings are quite emotionally charged and I have to admit I was not using the meetings in the correct manner. I am now.

I have communicated with KatherineHepburn and GWcouns.

I am in court next week and am terrified. I accept I will be banned from driving but am petrified of a custodial sentence.

I appreciate all your messages.

Will continue to keep you updated.

Dear Petrolhead,

My heart goes out to you - your distress and sense of shame are palpable in your post.

Alcohol dependence is a very complex matter - alcohol does have addictive properties but more often than not it is not an addiction to alcohol that needs addressing but the underlying depression/avoidance of long-standing emotional problems.

AA is absolutely invaluable in helping people live clean and sober lives - I have a couple of friends who say they literally owe their lives to the fellowship they have received at regular meetings and by working throughout the 12 steps.

However I think it may be very important for you to have some one to one work in order to really explore what it might be that the alcohol is being used for, what it is anaesthetising. I am a counsellor and psychotherapist, and whilst I am not writing this post to suggest my own services, I am plugged into a large network of professionals, some of whom have extensive experience in matters of emotional distress and substance misuse. If you would like me to make any suggestions please PM me. Otherwise there are some many online directories - www.counselling-directory.org.uk itsgoodtotalk.org.uk http://www.ukcp.org.uk/16/information/how-to-find-a-therapist

There is also the option of a residential treatment but this would depend on your ability to have help with your child, and of course finances - although many health care plans will cover a period of in-patient treatment

Try not to be too hard on yourself - think about showing yourself the same compassion and understanding as you would you offer to a close friend who is going through what you are.

Take care and please do contact me if I can offer any further assistance

I wish you the very best of luck for the future

Since this is now in writing, be aware that social services could see it and remove your child. If you have decided to be 100% alcohol free FOREVER with the support of AA and some form of therapy, that would be taken account of in their assessment.

To lose your child would be devastating. Children are removed and one more slip could be that moment.

I do hope it doesn't come to that.

Good Morning - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
You are an incredibly brave person for writing so public with 'this' issue - it is not 'Your' issue - you really are not alone!
You sound totally exhausted - but don't beat yourself up and think by going so public that someone will say something horrible to you and that you deserve to feel so bad about yourself and invite punishment.
Thankfully everyone has written some very positive
Although just a little word with 'Supergirl' - I'm sure Petrolhead knows that she 'brought it in herself' although you don't know what has brought all the stress on that makes her drink - also surely by her honesty, she has totally taken on responsibility, but doesn't know how to control her stress.
I don't know the answers - I wish I did! Although one little tip to try and help is - identify the trigger times that you know you would like a drink. For insance I've discovered that between 4pm - 6pm is when I know I'd like a drink. Think of that craving as a wave - it rises up but will break, it will come up again - but eventually it will become weaker. Good luck xx

I have friends who have been where you are and come out the other side. This only happened when they accepted that they can NEVER drink again. EVER.

You've been given a second chance. You might not get a third or fourth so please take it.

Best of luck. You CAN do it. X

Hi Petrolhead,

I think you've done a very brave thing in facing up to the situation your alcohol addiction has put you in. It sounds like you're feeling incredibly frightened right now but hang in there!

As others have said, going back to AA is a great first step but I would also suggest finding a therapist to talk to - CBT can be really helpful in managing a problem but for something longer term, which will hopefully help you get to the root of why you drink, try the BACP website http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/ - you can put in your postcode and what you're looking for help with, and it will give you a list of therapists in your area. Alternatively, try The Awareness Centre on Abbeville Road or WPF at London Bridge, both of whom may be able to help.

It should be in your NVN inbox. Did you find it yet? I'll double check that it sent ok.