My son loves video games, mainly Roblox and Roblox Studio where he's actually designing and coding for games. I used to get worried about it but he is autistic and it's his way of calming down after a long day at school. He's Yr9 and spends 4 hours in the week. More at the weekends but I insist he has time off to exercise and do an 'away from the screen' activity this can be physical or a skill like cooking. If I get resistance I always reflect it back to him and say ' how long do you think is a healthy time on screen' we then have a time of bartering for time away from screen. For future reference with teenagers it's all about negotiation, they aren't toddlers any more (although they act like it at times) I get way more respect when I treat them as equals.....oh and cake always works, the smell of cake always lures them out of their bedrooms. Please don't worry too much about video games as another poster has said they have their benefits too

CheekychappieMum wrote: ↑Sun Mar 21, 2021 10:43 pm My son is in Yr 8 and has 0 video games or mobile phone. In yr 6 and 7 he did feel alienated at times due to not playing fortnite with many peers. However, we enriched his life with other "toys" and activities as opposed to banning them with no substitute. It is totally true that many boys do connect via video games and in an ideal world it would be great to have them and limit their use to 30 mins max on maybe 3 school nights and 1-2 hrs on weekends. However, we decided not to buy any because he has an addictive personality.  He is now in yr 8. The website, Screenagers has helped us come up with amazing present ideas to substitute them. Eg a DJ mixing console he can use with friends (post covid), karaoke machine, Paladrone electric shock game, laser guns (brilliant at night), STEM construction kits, solar panel kits for making things, MP4 and wireless headphones as he is v much into music, outdoor tent, telescope plus a lot of outdoor camping gear for Scouts trips and sports paraphernalia for his hobbies. In addition to regular novels (he reads a bit but not much) he has subscriptions to magazines and has rec´d interesting niche non-fiction books he can reference and dip into. I have seen that in actual fact, resilient, grounded boys have just as a good a social life without video games as those with. 

Slightly off topic but would the website you are referring to be https://www.screenagersmovie.com/blog/2 ... gift-guide CheekychappieMum? Thank you!
 

As long as he’s playing as part of a team I wouldn’t worry too much. My son has made a whole bunch of friends through gaming. It’s developed his leadership abilities. It’s great for learning to cooperate. When he’s later in his teens you’ll perhaps appreciate more him being in his bedroom chatting to mates rather than going out drinking! The pandemic pretty much passed my son by as he meets his friends online and so wasn’t damaging to his mental health. He did well in his GCSEs and does a lot of school sport. And he can type incredibly fast!! Just don’t let him play Call of Duty.

My son is in year 9 and we allow him to play for one hour per day, 5 days per week. He has to have completed his homework first, but he always does. TBH it is very social as he joins a video call with all his friends who are playing in the same game - it is his down time and I don’t view it as harmful. My son is also very sporty and gets a lot of homework.

I think you need to set boundaries but I would caution against your boundaries being zero as in my experience this will lead to huge resentment. Personally there are other battles I’d rather fight with my teenagers! Good luck x

In my experience, it is unwise to adopt the perspective that all video gaming is inherently negative. Such a viewpoint is akin to implementing a complete prohibition on television. Certain programs exhibit excessive violence or lack quality and should be actively avoided. Converselydrift boss, there are instructional programs, as well as those of questionable taste that garner significant attention, making one feel excluded if not watched - a similar phenomenon may be seen with games.

I think all schools have children who game and children who do not.  The gamers will find each other and non gamers will also find each other.

My children do not game and therefore they have naturally made friends with other children who do not game. They have a wide circle of friends, many of whom additionally do not use any social media.

They all have hobbies, sports, art, cinema etc. This Christmas season I have barely seen them because they are out continually with friends doing stuff, movies, sport etc.

One of our reasons for not buying a console was because many of our friends had older boys when ours were tiny and the conversations on nights out would often turn to discussions about the constant arguments and mood changes they had with their boys, totally down to gaming. 
 

CheekychappieMum wrote: ↑Sun Mar 21, 2021 10:43 pm My son is in Yr 8 and has 0 video games or mobile phone. In yr 6 and 7 he did feel alienated at times due to not playing fortnite with many peers. However, we enriched his life with other "toys" and activities as opposed to banning them with no substitute. It is totally true that many boys do connect via video games and in an ideal world it would be great to have them and limit their use to 30 mins max on maybe 3 school nights and 1-2 hrs on weekends. However, we decided not to buy any because he has an addictive personality.  He is now in yr 8. The website, Screenagers has helped us come up with amazing present ideas to substitute them. Eg a DJ mixing console he can use with friends (post covid), karaoke machine, Paladrone electric shock game, laser guns (brilliant at night), STEM construction kits, solar panel kits for making things, MP4 and wireless headphones as he is v much into music, outdoor tent, telescope plus a lot of outdoor camping gear for Scouts trips and sports paraphernalia for his hobbies. In addition to regular novels (he reads a bit but not much) he has subscriptions to magazines and has rec´d interesting niche non-fiction books he can reference and dip into. I have seen that in actual fact, resilient, grounded boys have just as a good a social life without video games as those with. 

you did a right thing. Unfortunately, my son is a video game addict, and I feel like its too late to change something. Its probably my fault, because I do play games of change pretty often on https://beep-beep-casino.com/ and he must see me doing that, and take it as example..Do you have any ideas how I can minimize the time he is spending in front of the computer?
 

My son is in Yr 8 and has 0 video games or mobile phone. In yr 6 and 7 he did feel alienated at times due to not playing fortnite with many peers. However, we enriched his life with other "toys" and activities as opposed to banning them with no substitute. It is totally true that many boys do connect via video games and in an ideal world it would be great to have them and limit their use to 30 mins max on maybe 3 school nights and 1-2 hrs on weekends. However, we decided not to buy any because he has an addictive personality.  He is now in yr 8. The website, Screenagers has helped us come up with amazing present ideas to substitute them. Eg a DJ mixing console he can use with friends (post covid), karaoke machine, Paladrone electric shock game, laser guns (brilliant at night), STEM construction kits, solar panel kits for making things, MP4 and wireless headphones as he is v much into music, outdoor tent, telescope plus a lot of outdoor camping gear for Scouts trips and sports paraphernalia for his hobbies. In addition to regular novels (he reads a bit but not much) he has subscriptions to magazines and has rec´d interesting niche non-fiction books he can reference and dip into. I have seen that in actual fact, resilient, grounded boys have just as a good a social life without video games as those with. 
 

Hi, I dont think you can really rate a school by its video gaming activity to be honest, it's about how much they are left to get away with at home.
My son is Y7 at one of the three you mentioned. The big difference between him and his twin sister is during lockdown my daughter chatted for 3hrs plus at a time with her friends over Zoom about books, movies, bedroom decorations etc. 
My son tried a few times to call his friends but all boys want to do is chat over video games so it is a reality that your son will come across it. Their conversation about books and the latest footie scores is done in 2 minutes. Saying that, now he probably plays for 1 hour Saturday and Sunday, he is too busy during the week and to be honest, gets tired quickly of it. He has a PS4 and it's in the living room so I can hear how the conversations go and life is going on around him. I hear a lot of cooperating towards a mutual goal and tbh never had an issue. I am also relaxed as Y7 is when they are making new friends and I do not want him known as the boy who can't play at school.
I think it has a lot to do with how much rope they are given at home. My son knows when I tell him to get off, I mean it. Just don't leave him to play on it for hours alone in his bedroom but he sounds as if he wouldnt want that anyway.

Gaming hours.....
Yr10 weekday = 4hrs, Yr10 weekend per day = 12plus hours (Winter 16+ hours per day)
Yr11 weekday = 5hrs, Yr11 weekend = 12 plus hours (Winter 16+ hours per day)
In all honesty, I kid myself, it is probably more than this.

I'm not sure anyone can really gauge what percentage of boys in a class game, as they tend to play in little pockets of friends; I wouldn't have a clue at my son's school generally (he's not in any of the 3 you mentioned). However I would say that any information will be out of date following the lockdown as that has been the primary way that boys have been able to socialise with each other, apart from walks, so it will have increased massively and probably over all schools.

My experience is that you shouldn't take the view that all video gaming is bad; that's like banning all television! Some programmes are violent or rubbish and should be avoided, some are educational, some are a bit trashy but everyone talks about them so you might feel left out if you don't watch them - it's the same with games. Some boys aren't really interested (my older boy will take or leave them) and some would play all day if you let them, like my younger one (yr 9). I've decided the best way to handle it is to take an interest in what he's doing and encourage him to make good choices on what he plays and when. In the boring days of lockdown, after finishing home-school and exercise, he's been playing Minecraft with a group of friends on a group-call; I've been impressed at their collaborations on amazing buildings, the creativity and the fun they've managed to have remotely with each other. I wish it wasn't more screen time, but it's kept him sane and in touch with his friends. They spurn anything that costs money and only play in groups where they know the people in real life.

You don't need to have playstations or other equipment; if your son wants to play games, he'll do so on his phone or the computer he'll need in secondary school. So I would be wary of being negative or forbidding this normal part of boys' lives; it will make it far more attractive if he wants to rebel! If he loves sports, then pick a school which will give him lots of opportunities for these and making like-minded friends and they won't have much time to play any video games then anyway.

Playing video games is often seen as intellectually lazy but has been widely proven to strengthen a range of cognitive skills. 90% of those who are forbidden to play video games because of this prejudice are proven to grow up to hate their mothers 100% of the time. 

xoxo

My son is at secondary school and apart from a once a week session on minecraft with friends he doesn’t have video games. He uses my phone to play the game. We’ve never bought a console/ PS4 etc. There are plenty of other kids who don’t have them so it hasn’t been a big deal. Partly, we just aren’t as a family, that interested in video games so it kind of passed us by. I’d say there was a moment, when he was in his last year at primary, when everyone was talking about Fortnight when he did feel a little out of the loop but that was very much a passing phase. My son is in Y9 now and reads a lot and tbh school keeps him v busy.

I was quite precious about video games too and only eased up when my son was in y6 but it was very restricted, 1 HR a week. Then lock down happened and that jumped to closer to 1 HR a day. Not ideal, but it's been the only way for him to socialize with friends so has had its place.

Worth considering that boys especially don't do playdates in secondary so even out of lock down games are a way to socialize. Private school will do lots of sports and clubs so he they aren't mutually exclusive

Really interested in this too. I have similar concerns for a sporty son and the perceived pressure to play and join video games whilst at secondary school. Dreading it a bit.