by JamTart » Mon Jun 06, 2022 10:02 am
muddyboots wrote: ↑Mon Jun 06, 2022 9:40 amFirstly, I’m sorry your son is going through this and it is so hard to see your child being upset and not being able to do much.
IMO, you need to let this go.
They have given you all the non verbal clues they don’t want to encourage this friendship for whatever reason. You know this, so a confrontation would just be unpleasant and awkward.
Encourage your son to build new friendship as well acting normal in school if the two boys are friends there.
In the meantime, this might also pass. His parents might mellow.
I also urge you not to worry about secondary school now! So much will happen in two years and either way it’s a natural break off point and a time for new friendships and independence.
I once had a similar situation where I felt a child was not good for my child. I too discouraged contact as I truly felt this child has a negative impact on my child. When teachers approached me with same concerns I felt validated and this clingy parent was trying to stalk us though out of school activities to the point I had to kindly decline via text to tell them which class my child was joining for an activity at one point.
This was a case of a child isolating mine from others and being co-dependent and emotionally draining to child.
Every parent has their one instinct and will try to do what’s best for their child.
They might have a reason you are not aware of .
Or they are just unfriendly and you would be better off not encouraging this bond anyway.
Perhaps sign your son up for a new activity Or try to strengthen a bond with another child in the class. Maybe organise a play date with another child.
Just be positive and don’t make a big deal out of it to him.
Good luck!
This. Never going to work out.
My son was influenced in his choice of secondary school by a friendship with another boy: two weeks after starting they barely talk to each other anymore - no falling out, just different classes, new friends, incompatible schedules, and generally moving on. Friendships often have cycles, so if you all still live in the same area the kids may find each other again when they are a bit older. There is a tendency to overtry with friendships, to do our utmost to keep hold of them, when it is fine to let them ebb and flow.
[quote=muddyboots post_id=279149 time=1654504837 user_id=33845]Firstly, I’m sorry your son is going through this and it is so hard to see your child being upset and not being able to do much.
IMO, you need to let this go.
They have given you all the non verbal clues they don’t want to encourage this friendship for whatever reason. You know this, so a confrontation would just be unpleasant and awkward.
Encourage your son to build new friendship as well acting normal in school if the two boys are friends there.
In the meantime, this might also pass. His parents might mellow.
I also urge you not to worry about secondary school now! So much will happen in two years and either way it’s a natural break off point and a time for new friendships and independence.
I once had a similar situation where I felt a child was not good for my child. I too discouraged contact as I truly felt this child has a negative impact on my child. When teachers approached me with same concerns I felt validated and this clingy parent was trying to stalk us though out of school activities to the point I had to kindly decline via text to tell them which class my child was joining for an activity at one point.
This was a case of a child isolating mine from others and being co-dependent and emotionally draining to child.
Every parent has their one instinct and will try to do what’s best for their child.
They might have a reason you are not aware of .
Or they are just unfriendly and you would be better off not encouraging this bond anyway.
Perhaps sign your son up for a new activity Or try to strengthen a bond with another child in the class. Maybe organise a play date with another child.
Just be positive and don’t make a big deal out of it to him.
Good luck![/quote]
This. Never going to work out.
My son was influenced in his choice of secondary school by a friendship with another boy: two weeks after starting they barely talk to each other anymore - no falling out, just different classes, new friends, incompatible schedules, and generally moving on. Friendships often have cycles, so if you all still live in the same area the kids may find each other again when they are a bit older. There is a tendency to overtry with friendships, to do our utmost to keep hold of them, when it is fine to let them ebb and flow.