I am a local childminder , I hear a lot of opinion but people need to understand life is give and take if your nanny is nice would do anything , specially if you asked her anything if she is willing to do it, in a long term the parent benefit , please do not think about the extra money she is going to make , think about the long term relationship with you and with your child she is going to have.

I currently look after a 10 month child as a childminder it is not my job to take him to GP appointments this and that but I take him , I see the child like my own son and I have a good relationship with the family , I am sure if I asked them anything they would do the same .

I see this job is differently, it is not just about just the money , it is a bout the love and care we share with your children , we should look after each other be posetive, then we can have a better childcare service.

I agree with the majority - I've never heard of this, certainly not as a "standard thing".

In theory it does sounds like a good idea to have nannies cover each other on occasional sick days or days off but I'd expect this to be completely reciprocal and probably arranged between the parents (in consultation with the nannies) not the other way around.

If it's not reciprocal and is a favour to the other family then I would consider it but only if 1) my child already knew the other child very well 2) it was at my house, my child's routine kept to, etc and 3) I'd like to be paid some of the extra £ from the other family to compensate for not having 1 to 1 care that day. Oh and 4) only as a one off not a regular thing.

I'm surprised your nanny is so outraged.

Personally, I'd say no. If she insists, you should renegotiate her contract.

You're paying her for sole care on those two days and so if she wants to earn more and have that as a share (especially when it imposes restrictions ie where your daughter will be based, how flexible she can be etc) so she makes more for those two days then it sounds like you should be looking at share rates for 5 days not 3. I'm not sure why she thinks it would be a 'perk' when she clearly is looking for it to be a regular thing.

It's obviously a delicate situation because she's so great with your kids, but I'd expect the days I pay sole care, to be just that.

I would probably allow it if it had been reciprocated. However it seems to me that you're essentially helping another family out (thereby allowing your nanny to make some extra cash) yet when your nanny is sick, no one is covering your children?
That for me would be the main issue. I hope you sort this, your nanny sounds like a bit of a bully. A friend of mine had a similar sounding nanny, brilliant with the kids, capable, experienced etc but took advantage of a gentle natured mum. I personally have no time for that.

That's not normal. I've had a nanny for 6 years (2 different people) and never ever heard of that happening. If she's doing someone a favour and you're helping they should be coming to your house (and providing a double buggy in my opinion).

Your nanny is definitely being unreasonable. Yes, sometimes other nannies/families do help each other out but its by mutual agreement and benefits all parties. It is not a nanny perk. She is purely looking at it as a way to make extra money for her but if this arrangement was to work properly it should be set up that the other nanny helped out if your nanny was sick

I think this is getting away from the point of the original post.
I would call abberville nannies and ask their advice.
even if you didn't find your nanny with them ,I bet they will still expalian what is normally the outcome with these requests.
Abbervielle nannies always give advice to tricky situations . I called them when I was unsure who should pay for ofstead registrations. It's always been a provisional way to deal with situations not agreed.

Dear all ,
I am an qualified, experienced nanny with 18 experience .. In all my years of nannying I would and never have looked after my nanny friends charges !
I am getting paid a lot of money to look after my employers charges ! Not someone else's children ! And to response to the nanny the suggested that it is very common in the area !! What a loud of rubbish !! Your only looking out for your friends charges !! And you are within your right to refuse to let her do it .. Or dock her pay !!! - she is taken advantage of your good nature ! Your child comes first !!
I am very well known in the clapham area and I know a lot of employers
That would not be ok with this !! Your nanny is being totally unproffesional .
X

I agree with Sessa84 and think that your nanny is the one being completely unreasonable, not you.

My nanny has a few nanny friends that she meets up with regularly on a weekly basis and if they wanted to cover for each other every now and again I wouldn't mind at all, however, I know these nannies and the children they look after. I know where they live, who their parents are and could get in contact with the other parents if I wished. Also, if it became very regular I would want to have a more formal arrangement with the other families.

At the end of the day, it is your child and only you has the final say on how and where he/she is looked after. It is not up to the nanny, it is up to you.

Your concern was very natural and right to ask the question. If one off then fine however you have every right to speak to the parents of the other child. Even if just to say hello and make sure they are happy your daughter is at their house all day etc. It's just being polite and courteous.

Anyway now emotions have calmed, have a sit down chat with your nanny.

I absolutely trust her judgement about safety and suitability of playmates.

I think when it comes to financial matters, I would be happier to at least have had a conversation on the phone with the other family about expectations.

The other child lives in a big house with a big garden, so I guess for a day it wouldn't be bad to be without transport - but it might well mean that our timings are put out depending on the hours they need.

I'm feeling less aggrieved today and recognise that I probably shouldn't have vented on this forum. I am glad I asked the original question though, as I genuinely didn't know if I was being as unreasonable as I was made to feel! It seems that some families are totally ok with this, and some are much more didactic about play dates than we are (our little girl goes on about 5 per week which I must say I was surprised by).

Anyway, my little girl is happy and well cared for and I'm the big bad ogre for now who limits perks. But out nanny does get a paid half day off about once every 3 weeks and sometimes more, along with lots of independence and no real "nursery duties"... So I guess I have some redeeming features!

A nanny working 45 hrs a week will know all the other local children from music groups,playground,if she's the one attandidng these classes.


Suggesting children can only play at people's houses I know would mean the children would be the ones missing out.

If you trust your nannies judgment you should be 100% sure
She would only take them somewhere safe.

When I worked as a nanny in SW18, my families (I worked in a nanny share and they all lived in the same street) had an agreement to let me and let the neighbours' nannies cover each other sick days/Gp or dentist appointment.
I don't understand what personal days are: are they a special holiday due to a friend's wedding or similar/study days etc?
We would earn £12net for our standard nanny share, £16 if caring for the kids of an other family. The parents would somehow top up the tax between each other. Looking after 3/4 kids is very challenging in a home environment, especially in the kitchen and bathroom area.

I would never ever let my nanny take my precious child to a house of people that I do not know or a house that I have not personally visited myself to assess health and safety.
What if you think that the other child does not suit your child personality? What if in this house there are broken safety gates and your child tumbles down the stairs? What if in the garden there is an open pond/wild poisonous berries?
You are paying full fee for a service you will not be getting and for your child to be stuck indoor all day. You could send your child to nursery to be shut all day between 4 walls and save a small capital.
I think your nanny it is not reasonable, she is behaving in an irresponsible manner and she is bullying you into this situation hoping that you will not bother as you are too busy with work. My personal advice as a nanny/mum to be is look for an other nanny! Explain your concerns to the other family in the nanny share and look for a brand new nanny! You have grounds to dismiss her and believe me you will find a better nanny interviewing in a week end!

It sounds like you need to discuss with her if there is a way for her sick and personal days to be covered as this seems to have become an issue.

I have been a nanny but this wasn't an issue that ever came up for me. I don't think that you are being unreasonable by insisting that she gets the nanny share rate on these days. To me this seems a personal choice for families to make and either decision can be justified. I do ditto others in making sure you are comfortable with your child being taken to someone else's house and not be able to get out that day.

My biggest concern from everything you have written is that she can't take the children out anywhere during those days due to lack of double buggy. I don't know your child's age but does she still sleep during the day? What about fresh air or other activities they normally do?

Also, have you met the family she is taking your child too? Play dates are one thing and maybe I've been too cautious but I wouldn't want my nanny taking my child to another person's house that I've never met to look after another child especially if I am paying them for sole charge care. Plus it's not for a few hours, it's several days and likely to be regular. As her employer you have a right to say no. She also has a right to say the arrangement isn't working for her and then you are stuck with looking for a new nanny.

I would ask yourself if you are really happy for your child to be taken to random peoples houses for full days on a regular basis? If you are then negotiate the rate you are willing to pay. If not, make your feelings clear.