by Elenita4ever » Tue Aug 26, 2014 2:14 pm
Hi there - The potential downside of doing it all yourself can be that you get ill from exhuastion and then your husband will have to do much more than the odd 11 p.m feed to help you recover. That's what happened to me first time round, not because my husband wouldn't have done it, but because I thought it I could "manage" and didn't want to bother him. With the best intention in the world, I did my best to do it all - unfortunately my body had other ideas and it nearly ended very badly.
I will (hopefully) be in a similar position to you in a few weeks time. I will have a 3 year old and newborn - with some help from nanny during the day. But the nanny is dedicated for the 3 year old and whilst I'm sure she'd help out for the odd half hour or so (or swap 3 year old for newborn) the newborn will be my complete responsibility.
Until newborn is in her own own room, my hubby will be sleeping in a different room so he is not disrupted during the night. But although I will be breast-feeding (hopefully) most of the time, I plan to make the 11 p.m. feed a bottle (probably formula) and I will definitely ask hubby to do it most nights so that I can go to bed early and aim to get 4-5 hours straight before the 2:30ish feed.
I don't think that's unreasonable, as he wouldn't normally go to bed before this time anyway and he'll then get to sleep right through until 6.30 a.m.
It is about teamwork. Your partner may still have a full time "external" job but you've just had a baby and you're knack3red - and in my case I will still be doing the shopping, cooking, washing etc for the whole household. So I would expect hubby to do the 11 p.m. until its no longer required -either because the baby doesn't need it or doesn't need the 2.30a.m one and can sleep straight through to 4:30-5 a.m.
Good luck and always remember to be kind to yourself. Having a newborn is really tough and the people who love you will understand and want to help all they can. It's in everyone's interests that you stay strong and healthy.
xx
Hi there - The potential downside of doing it all yourself can be that you get ill from exhuastion and then your husband will have to do much more than the odd 11 p.m feed to help you recover. That's what happened to me first time round, not because my husband wouldn't have done it, but because I thought it I could "manage" and didn't want to bother him. With the best intention in the world, I did my best to do it all - unfortunately my body had other ideas and it nearly ended very badly.
I will (hopefully) be in a similar position to you in a few weeks time. I will have a 3 year old and newborn - with some help from nanny during the day. But the nanny is dedicated for the 3 year old and whilst I'm sure she'd help out for the odd half hour or so (or swap 3 year old for newborn) the newborn will be my complete responsibility.
Until newborn is in her own own room, my hubby will be sleeping in a different room so he is not disrupted during the night. But although I will be breast-feeding (hopefully) most of the time, I plan to make the 11 p.m. feed a bottle (probably formula) and I will definitely ask hubby to do it most nights so that I can go to bed early and aim to get 4-5 hours straight before the 2:30ish feed.
I don't think that's unreasonable, as he wouldn't normally go to bed before this time anyway and he'll then get to sleep right through until 6.30 a.m.
It [i]is[/i] about teamwork. Your partner may still have a full time "external" job but you've just had a baby and you're knack3red - and in my case I will still be doing the shopping, cooking, washing etc for the whole household. So I would expect hubby to do the 11 p.m. until its no longer required -either because the baby doesn't need it or doesn't need the 2.30a.m one and can sleep straight through to 4:30-5 a.m.
Good luck and always remember to be kind to yourself. Having a newborn is really tough and the people who love you will understand and want to help all they can. It's in everyone's interests that you stay strong and healthy.
xx